An Akatsuki Hostage Journal
by Courtmaster Rin
Summary: Uchiha Itachi is the best Akatsuki member, and assign to kidnap a slavegirl. What if his life change when he started to be its guardian? See her journal, its all there. Please read and review! COMPLETED AND FINISHED!
1. Journal Entry 1

_Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine, and if it can be mine… uhm…_

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**JOURNAL ENTRY 1: STRANGE VISITOR

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It was just an ordinary afternoon, and all I wanted to do was just to seat underneath the shade of the big willow tree at the backyard. That's all. After the tiring work from the field and doing errands for my master, relaxation is the best option to enjoy the rest of my day. I always wanted to have leisure after those labors. And, you can't blame me for that.

So, that was it. I was reading a nice novel underneath the shades of the willow tree. It was windy, but it was not cold. The wind was normal just like the summer breeze. I had the best time of my life, I suppose. I untied my red auburn hair to dry, and removed my jacket. I breathed the fresh air, as if it was my last.

And I thought it would be my last…

Where was I? Yeah, I was underneath that tree, enjoying my siesta. But after reading two to three pages, I felt someone's eyes watching over me. I didn't know where the eye was. But, there's really a strange feeling that someone's watching over me. I stood up from what I was sitting, and put back my jacket. This feeling already was here always when I try to rest.

"Who's there?" I shouted.

Nobody answered. Only the wind and the chirping of the birds was the sound I heard. Maybe it was just an imagination, I thought. So, I decided to go back what I was doing before. This time, it's really strange. I heard a hustle from a nearby bush. My eyes looked at the bush immediately. I sighed. I was thinking that it was just a cat or something. Suddenly, I felt light footsteps landed in the branches of the willow I was underneath. I felt terrified.

I looked up at the tree, looking for any traces of a creature. But, there's nothing. I shrugged. It was just my imagination that tricking me. Or, maybe… I'm just so tired that's why I'm having hallucinations. So, I decided to take a nap for a while. I lied down the soft grass with my hands crossed at the back of my head. The sunlight, even though the leaves were covering them, blinded my eyesight. I gently closed my eyes and let myself drifted to sleep.

After few minutes…

I heard dogs barking around me. I didn't bother. But, the barks were becoming more ferocious and louder. There's an intruder that entered the area. I opened my eyes seeing the leaves of the willow waving at me. I stood up immediately and tried to remember what I suppose to do. But, the dogs barking so much loud made me sick.

I settled to go to the dog pound. But I found the dogs asleep, and found its keeper… asleep too! This is weird. Why should the dog pound keeper asleep during this time of the day? He's always awake. I tugged the keeper's sleeves.

"Hideki-kun… Hideki-kun… wake up!" I said.

His eyes woke up, in shock. He shouted when he saw me. I suddenly jumped off my position because of his scream.

"Hideki-kun! It's me, Subaru! Calm yourself down!"

He suddenly stopped when he heard my name. He grabbed my jacket and told me.

"Stay away here now, Subaru. They'll get you."

"What the hell are you talking about, Hideki-kun? Who will get me here?"

"The red-eyed guy. He'll get you. You should go away and go to the center of Konoha. You'll be safe there."

"You must be dreaming, Hideki-kun. There's no such guy who has red eyes… except for ninjas you know…"

"He's maybe a ninja… but he's more like a criminal… Subaru… blood is his food… killing is his life…"

"Okey! Let's think I believe in what you are saying. When did you saw this 'red-eyes guy'?"

"Last night… and today… he made me sleep… his eyes… terrifying…"

It's the first time I saw fear in Hideki's eyes. I didn't know if he's telling the truth. Red-eyed ninja? Freaky. But, in Hideki's words, it is true. He was so much horrified and worried about me. I was supposed to speak when my master entered the pound.

He's an old man, with a long beard. He looks strict and ordinary. He suddenly pinched my ear and said.

"I'm looking for you, Subaru! Where have you been?"

I yelped in pain. I held his left hand that holds my ear. He spanked it with his fan.

"I've… been… in… the… willow tree. Resting…"

I was sobbing between my words. Here it goes again…

"Resting, Subaru? You lethargic bitch! Now, you're telling me that you're resting? I just saw you flirting Hideki!"

That suddenly cut off my patience. If he wasn't my master, I've already thrown him to the walls and punch his head. And, cut his long, disgusting, itchy beard. He dragged me, with his left hand still twitching my ear, to the house. He was still shouting at my ears how lazy, unethical and all the bad words you can name. I tried not to cry, not to scream or to speak. I tried to swallow all the things… all the fraudulences that he wanted me to believe.

After he did that to me, I sat on the edge of the window, checking my ears if it's still attached. I can't stop my tears anymore. They are flowing ceaselessly, and so as my heart. I can't take this anymore. It's slandering my life, cutting off my right to live as a human… as someone who can feel. I suddenly heard a hustle in the trees.

I stood up and checked it out. I looked out the window and checked thoroughly to the trees. I saw a spark of red light in the middle of the leaves. It was a pair of red eyes staring at me, strangely. It suddenly winked to me. I stepped two steps away from the window. I was startled. I checked it out again, but the figure suddenly vanished away… so fast… just like the ninjas around the village.

Red eyes. It's true. I saw it. It even winked at me. Hideki was maybe right. There's a mystery visitor in the mansion. It was been spying around the house. It maybe also the footsteps I heard in the backyard. It maybe the creature that the dogs saw that's why they barked. His eyes… they were… beautiful. But I felt a fear tingling my spine. His eyes were terrified… were scary.

If it was the guy who wants me as Hideki said… I wish he just got me now before I committed suicide because how life is treating me. For I never wanted to live like this forever…

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_A/N: Hello! This is my first Naruto fanfiction. Hope you'll be not that rough to give me reviews. I'll accept any suggestion and comments. I need it for improving my story. I need a beta reader too! I know you know who's the red-eyed guy… Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoy it. Take care!_


	2. Journal Entry 2

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and never will be… if that happen… the world would be in a great danger… tsk… tsk... tsk…

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**JOURNAL ENTRY 2: THE MASSACRE

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"Darn! Why I can't sleep!"

It was already 12 o' clock in that midnight and my eyes were wide open. This is getting into my nerves. I have to wake up 5 o' clock in the morning and here I am, still awake. How will I get an enough rest if my eyes can't even close?

The truth was my mind didn't want to sleep. It didn't want to shut off. My body's already craving for rest, but my mind didn't want to. I lied in my bed, staring at the ceiling… deeply thinking about the mysterious red-eyed guy who winked at me this afternoon.

His eyes were really beautiful. It was crimson red with black circle surrounding its iris. There were small dots inside his iris… black dots. His eyes gave off an aggressive impression… courage and determination. But something's wrong with it. His eyes were surrounded by horror… by abomination… by death…

His eyes seemed to know every kinds of death. His eyes were thirsting for blood; to quench his longing of carnage… he's a rebel. I'm sure of that. But he's more of a slaughterer than a fighter. A criminal… as Hideki said. But how fantastic his eyes were. And, here I am… admiring such beauty… beauty created by murder, hostility and hatred.

My mind was still wandering when I heard someone jerked the lock of the gate. It was clattering. I forced myself to go out and check it out, but I suddenly remembered that my master imprisoned me to my very own room. I sighed, and felt hopeless. My heart beat faster as the clattering grew louder.

I let myself thought of positive things despite the loud clattering outside. But, I can't. Aside from that disturbing noise, my whole body was aching from the beatings I got from my master this early afternoon, before he locked me up to my room. My bruises still hurt, and my right leg was totally paralyzed. I can't move my lower extremities. So, I can't walk well. He beat me up with his fan and his wooden cane. That bastard old man! If he wasn't my master, I already eliminated him from my sight.

But, I can't. I have a large gratitude to him. He gave me a job for me to survive. So, if it wasn't with him, I'll never live. I'd died.

My thoughts were troubled by a shrill scream. I suddenly stood up from my bed and found my right leg aching. I walked floppily towards the door and placed my ears on the door. My eyes widened as I heard a harsh yell from a maiden servant of my master. I heard footsteps, swords clashing… and the most sickening…

A moan from someone dying…

My whole body froze. I stood and leaned my head to the door. I looked up perplexedly in the ceiling. My mind was wandering again… as it went back to my terrible past…

I can still remember clearly how my family was been annihilated by Konoha ninjas. I was just a three-year old kid… they told me how dangerous my family was… family of witches, as they said… a demon-possessed kin… But, I know my family was not what they said… because I, myself…

…Knows the secrets of our bloodline…

Breathing snapped me out to reality. It was just near in my room. I can feel myself freezing and shivering from fear and trauma. I didn't want to see another holocaust… bloodshed of nonsense and selfish reasons…. I didn't want to…

The doorknob twitched. I stepped two steps away from the door. It slowly opened. My jaws dropped as I saw the person entering my room.

It was my master. He opened the door, but it was too late.

A katana suddenly appeared at his chest. I let go a whimper of shock. My hands were on my mouth, as my tears flowed out my eyes. I saw his blood gushed out of his chest. His eyes were now cold… he's dead. He fell down in front of me, as I saw a man standing at the door.

He was the one who killed my master. He was holding the katana, with the crimson liquid thickly flowing and creating spots in the floor. He had a jet-black hair and wearing a dark cape. He was wearing a forehead protector just like the ninjas around, but it had a long scratch. But, something was familiar to the scene…

He had scarlet eyes!

The same eyes of deception and death… a deceitful creation of butchery… those eyes that made me paralyze of fear… the same eyes that winked at me this afternoon… those eyes…

…I admire...

I was still frozen in shock and fear. But, my tears were flowing ceaselessly out of my eyes. Everything was so blurred because my tears blinded my sight. I can't see clearly what was happening. All I know was I was hearing screams, yelps, and people crying out for help…

… And, I was standing here… immobile to reach out and help them…

… Again, for the second time of my life… I felt so helpless… and hopeless…

I'm not seeing the servants and people around me… it was my past that I was starting to see… I was starting to bite the trap of delusion.

"Itachi! Did you find her?"

I heard that line over and over again. The voice was husky and loud. It snapped me out of the delusions as I stared to the man standing in the door.

He was staring at me. His scarlet eyes fixed in my features. I didn't know what he was looking at, but all I noticed is his eyes were emotionless. I felt as if I was going to melt. Honestly, he was handsome. But, he was a devil standing in front of me. He suddenly spoke.

"Yes. I did find her. The old man find her for me."

As those words passed through my ear, I was heartbroken. I was in despair, guilt and self-pity. I have enough of this. Now, I was getting more of it. My soul was now being tortured and being killed slowly… little by little… as I heard Hideki's voice… begging for mercy.

"Please… don't kill her…"

"Damn it! Why are you still thinking of me, you foolish dog keeper! Why… Why… Why…"

I shouted those words as I sobbed. I slowly fell down on my knees. I grew weak… and weaker. But, my tears flooded out my eyes. I whispered those words as I continually shed tears.

"Why should we kill her? She's the one we're looking for, weakling."

I heard those words from the red-eyed guy. Then, he slashed Hideki's throat. Hideki… before he breathed his last breath… looked at me and said.

"Never lose hope, Subaru… never…"

Those are the last words I heard from him. The man who killed him walked away from dead Hideki. I crawled slowly out of the room, and reached for Hideki's corpse. I slowly touched his cold face, and alleged.

"You're really foolish… Hideki… Hope… There's no hope left for someone miserable like me… All you care is your dogs… You… don't… know… anything…"

I snickered. Then the last servant was killed by a kunai. The blood spurted out of its body as it splashed my face. I felt how warm blood is. The horror struck me immediately. Everyone in the house was killed, and I was the only one left…

…Only one survived… again…

The blood of the dead corpses lying around me painted the walls. It made me pale. It made me numb. My tears suddenly stopped. There were no tears left in my eyes to mourn for them. For my heart was frozen… by the pain and despair… nothing left to me… only my heart that was angst-ridden, and my soul… grief-stricken… The corpses around me had left traces of tears in their eyes. Their faces demonstrated fear and terror. I was now sitting in the house full of corpses… killed mercilessly by these ninjas, standing in front of me, checking each of these dead bodies if one of them still breathing.

"Nothing left."

"How about the dogs? Did you kill them?"

"Yes, Itachi. No evidence left."

"Good. So, we can now all go back to the headquarters and bring this girl there."

The red-eyed guy sat down to his knees in my front. I stared at him with my eyes bewildered. He touched my face. He wiped off the blood that splashed in my face.

"Such beautiful face is too innocent to have bloodstains."

Beautiful. He had the most beautiful eyes I ever seen. He looked straightly at me. He saw the bandages covering my right leg. He asked.

"Is that leg injured?"

I nodded. I was so puzzled that I lost my tongue to speak. The event and the scene shaken me so much that I was traumatize psychologically. My hands clenched. It crumpled my skirt. Suddenly, without noticing… I cried. I poured all my heart unintentionally.

He called one of his comrades and requested to heal me up. I didn't noticed how his comrade did it, but he never went away from me. He thanked his comrade and whispered to him.

"Clean up this mess. We're out of here."

He held out his hand to me. I seized out mine and clutched his hand. It was warm. He assisted me to stand. I can now felt my body aching again. My heart suffered so much that it complimented with my physical pain. I was feeling groggy, so he decided to lift me up to his arms. He was strong, I said to myself.

We went out of the house. The whole place was burning, as my soul smoldering by the nuisance. I wish everything were just a dream. I was watching the house slowly turning into ashes… ashes that will be carried by the wind… I watched everything as I gazed up to his face.

Just like before, he was impassive. As expected to an assassin showing no emotions or expression of killing people for a reward or request, he showed nothing but cold gawk. He held me tightly in his arms and said to his comrades…

"Let's go before ANBU gets here."

As we were escaping through the forest, I was still staring at the house slowly blazing. What will happen next? Will my life be as miserable as the last chapter? Am I going to continue suffering my family's curse of forever lurking in despair? My soul was burning for answers. Now, that he's taking me away from here, my heart was already fleeting away from reality. It was slowly dying.

And, his eyes… they were starving for death. I wish my eyes were like him, for I didn't want to cry anymore. There were no tears left… I was a zombie… taken away by him…

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_A/N: So, that's for chapter 2. It's a little bit harsh, morbid and gloomy. Hope you'll like it. I'll be updating every Friday, so expect new chapters during weekends. Thanks to those people who submitted their reviews, and they are… **coolRiku **and **HimeHikari.** You really make me happy! Hehe! Thanks for reading and have a nice day!_


	3. Journal Entry 3

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I wish…

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**JOURNAL ENTRY 3: INTENTION

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And he was carrying me into his arms…

His comrades and also him, were jumping on and off on the trees as we making our way out of the woods. My eyes were still swollen from crying as I held strongly around his broad shoulders. I was staring at nowhere. My eyes were uncomprehendingly gazing at the view we were passing by. Seems everything so useless being alive now…

"Hey! Itachi, ever ask her name already?"

"I know her name, Kisame."

"Then, talk to her. She's too beautiful to be quiet."

Enough of being beautiful! The words I heard made my grip tighter around his shoulder. He felt it. He looked at me with an impassive glint in his eyes.

"You're hurting me."

"Am I? I thought ninjas like you don't feel anything."

I looked up at him coldly. I was already numb, and my mind was full of fraudulences and artifices. I didn't believe anymore that I exist for a reason, and I didn't believe that hope is something for an afflicted sleeping soul…

For a person like me… there's no such thing as happy endings.

He looked at me with his deceitful gaze. He gritted as my grasp went tighter that it might give him a scratch when he removes his shirt. I bit my lower lip. I made him annoyed, but then he sighed.

"Is that your way of saying you'll be avenging, Subaru?"

Did he just say my name? It made my jaws dropped. I was astounded that he knows my name. I felt a sudden throb in my chest. Is that my heart? Why am I nervous? He just mentioned my name right? No big deal! But, how the heck did he know my name?

"You know my name?"

"Of course, Subaru. Subaru, Ichikawa."

"How did you…?"

He gave me a slight smile. As he looked back at the trees, I saw a glint of anxiety in his eyes. I asked him.

"Something wrong?"

The ninja named Kisame came closer to us. He gave him a tap.

"Did you hear that? Someone's following us. What shall we do, Itachi?"

He looked at Kisame. He raised his eyebrows as a signal of something. Then, his comrades disappeared. We were now alone. But before Kisame vanished, he spoke to me.

"Subaru, right? You got a breathtaking voice. I almost thought you're mute."

Then he disappeared in a puff of silver smoke.

I was surprised that Itachi (the red-eyed guy) put me down in the branch of a tree, and sat beside me. He gave me a piece of cloth and a mirror.

"My name is Uchiha Itachi. Here, you can clean your face with that."

I let go a little yell when I saw my face in the mirror. It was covered with ashes. I blushed. It was so embarrassing that a man saw my face covered with black ashes. I looked like a beggar. Even I was a slave girl; I always make sure I look well dressed even in maid attire.

I slowly wiped my face with that blue piece of cloth. It was a little damp, so it cleaned my face, at least. I was surprised to notice that his hand was brushing against my arms. It stopped in the spot of a huge black-blue bruise.

"Your master did this to you, right?"

I lost my tongue. How did he know? He was been surprising me since we runaway from the mansion. I suddenly asked him.

"How the hell did you know my name and…"

"I spied."

"You spied. What! Why?"

"It is a job."

His answers were short. But he was still brushing his left hand to my right arm. It was warm. I felt a bit humiliated, and shy. I moved away my arm and arrogantly stared at him. But, his eyes were empty. Not really empty, but they were half-full. There's still a bit of bloodthirsty murderer sparkles in his eyes. His soul was mystifying. I was so flabbergasted.

"Why did you move away your arm?"

"You're making me blush."

"Hmm…"

I turned away at him. I suddenly remembered that we were being followed. I decided to ask him about it.

"I… overheard your conversation with your sidekick. Who are following us?"

"ANBU."

"Why?"

"We kidnapped you. Akatsuki… kidnapped you."

"I was abducted?"

"Yes. Why are you so stupid to understand?"

"For I already close my mind to the world…"

He was astonished. He was trying to reach me, my mind. There's a tinge of his persuasive disposition to his words. I know he was trying to get in touch with me, from my solitary confinement. And, he suddenly kept quiet without any trace of second demotion.

I was left hanging in the silence. I suddenly felt the lesions of my soul, my ever tormented and savaged soul. I left my soul in the stygian escape rope of the reality. I closed its eyes from the world to avoid getting hurt again. The string of glittering hope shining above it disappeared, and it will never be seen again. I was blankly staring at the trees with a pokerfaced expression. I didn't notice him looking the same way as me. I felt emptiness in the silence so I broke it.

"Why did you abduct me?"

He gazed up in the sky. Then he let go of a grunt. He looked at me impassively.

"Are you so foolish that you don't know anything?"

"I was enclosed in that mansion for several years. How will I know? I don't even know how the Hokage looked like! Or even the events happening outside that walls! You can't blame me for that!"

"Captive in the helpless mansion…"

"Can't you just answer my question, assassin?"

"I won't. You know the answer."

"Damn it! I'm not going to ask if I know the answer, stupid!"

"It's your bloodline. That's our intention."

I looked at him in shock. I suddenly bowed down my head and let my hair covered my whole face. He knew something about my family's bloodline. Everyone kept it as a secret, even the Third Hokage, and the present Hokage. No body in Konoha knew about it. It was kept secretly, secure. They made my family…

…Extinct…

Itachi suddenly spoke up. It grabbed my attention.

"It's not that I'm interfering on your own privacy, but the Konoha ninjas are also looking for you. They wanted you to be secured."

"Secured from what?" I smirked.

"From us…"

"From you? From Akatsuki? Foolishness!"

"You're dumb, aren't you?"

"If I weren't imprisoned at that manor, did you think I'd be staying with you? If the Konoha ninjas were looking for me, it means I'd be in great danger. But newsflash, Itachi… I don't know… ANYTHING!"

I stood up, but I lost my balance. I almost forgot that I was sitting in the branch of a tree, not on a chair. He suddenly wrapped his arms around my waist for equilibrium. I moaned when I felt a stinging pain in my leg.

"If my right leg wasn't badly broken, I'd just let myself fall and die. I don't want to die crippled." I sneered.

"You should tell me earlier. I should've just killed you."

"Badly, you can't."

"I know."

I suddenly saw shadows coming close to us. Itachi stood straight. It was his comrades. There were only seven left and almost all of them were wounded and bloodstain.

"We are incomparable to them. They got the Hokage to fight, and so as Jiraiya. We got to go before they reach us here…"

Itachi's sidekick stopped when we heard hustles from the trees. There's somebody out in the trees. I clenched my fist as I whispered.

"I detest ninjas deep in my heart."

Itachi looked towards me. He suddenly smirked and said.

"The ninja beside you can kill and protect at the same time."

Then he winked.

There's suddenly an inner smile that appeared in my mind. I felt so secured and so safe in those words. I never heard those kinds of words for a very long time. It pulled my heartstrings and made me feel so protected. I was in the safe hands, I think. He was still an assassin, a killer, a murderer, and a criminal. But he suddenly turned as an angel in disguise when he told me that. An image inside of me in my head was jumping in joy. Just like a child, just like before…

"Hey! Itachi! Surrender the girl. She's too innocent to be in Akatsuki!"

A woman with large breasts and blonde hair appeared in our front. She had ninjas wearing masks, which I recognized as ANBUs. There were also teenagers with them. Teenagers? Ninjas? They were too young for violence! Violence?

I was exposed in violence at the age of 2. Why not them?

Itachi suddenly grabbed me by my waist and pointed a kunai at my side. I quivered, and screamed.

"Darn! Could you just kill me if you want to? I'm tried of being this way, you know. I rather rest in peace than be busted in pieces!"

"Come closer, or her body will suffer…"

Itachi licked my cheeks. It maybe me shivered. This was so sadistic! Vindictiveness now enveloped his aura. I was frozen in phobia of seeing another homicide. I was afraid to see bloodstains again. But I was in another mind illusion again. I was already afraid of any weapons or anything related to ninjas. Seeing the kunai made me shivered. The shurikens in their hands and holsters made my knees trembled. I was really frightened. I saw katanas being slashed in the air and shining in the noon sunshine. I was starting to see delusions again. I was starting to see rain…

…Rain with blood…

I suddenly realized I was about to faint. I heard a lousy voice of a boy, and high-pitched tone of a girl. They were screaming in anxiety. Itachi caught me into his arms. I looked around, and all I saw was red rain. I was hearing screams of dying people. A massacre, my mind was creating. I looked where the voice came from. A blonde, blue-eyed boy, I saw screaming at his top of voice. He came running to my way.

"Hey! Don't die yet! I'll save you!"

His voice faded away, and so as Itachi's face. I fainted as the words of that blonde boy kept on repeating on my head. I lost my consciousness…

"…I'll save you…"

No one could do that… no body is meant to save me… There's no salvation left for me…

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_A/N: So, chapter 3 is finished! Whoa! That was long! I wrote this chapter during my break in my Biochemistry class, and here… I have updated this story faster! So, let your reviews fall down! Please? It'll make me happy! Hehe! Thanks and have a nice day!_


	4. Journal Entry 4

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Damn! Why should I have to repeat this over and over again?

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**JOURNAL ENTRY 4: IN THE HEADQUARTERS

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"… I'll save you…"

That was the first word that appeared in my mind. I opened my eyes right into the moment I felt the air around me. I slowly lift my upper extremities and sat in the bed. I suddenly felt a tinge of pain in my head. I noticed that I was in a room I was not familiar with.

It was a simple room. It was painted in light apple green. Nice color, I thought. I turned my head. The bed was just beside the window, and it was overlooking in a lake. There's a table near the door, and a vanity table at the right side of the room. There's really nothing grandeur about the place. It was certainly an ordinary room. I noticed that the cabinets were dusty. The room maybe used very rarely. I decided to sit at the edge of the bed. I noticed a large mirror standing near the bed.

I looked at the girl in the mirror. She was wearing a black pedal pushers and a revealing shirt (it actually shows the shoulders). She had a bandage around her right arm. She was blinking. I noticed her eyes were swollen, but they were beautiful… yet, hopeless. I suddenly yelped.

"Am I wearing a different dress?"

I stood up the minute I realized that I was wearing a different dress. I wasn't wearing pedal pushers before, but a skirt! And, not this revealing shirt, but just a plain simple shirt! Who change my clothes? What was going on?

I looked into the mirror, and noticed that the clothes fitted exactly to me. It looked so gorgeous to me. I turned around to see myself more. But, I stopped when I saw Itachi standing in the door.

Now, I remembered. I fainted. I was all dirty and messy. I was shivering in horror and pain, before I lost consciousness. And, I was in the middle of the forest with him… with Uchiha Itachi. I was kidnapped and confused on all the events that happened that day. That voice, that loud, lousy voice of a teenage ninja…

He'll save me… he said.

Stupid. Save me from what? He was totally a jerk. He was really young and too innocent to understand this kind of things. Can't help it. He was just a kid.

Just a kid… He was so brave to say those strong words…

It was late afternoon. I noticed the sun setting as it reflected its orange rays in the lake. It was a beautiful scene. It was tranquil. I sighed.

"You're already awake. You must be hungry by now."

Itachi approached me indifferently. I noticed a bandage wrapped around his arms. The stains of the blood were still there. The wounds were still fresh. I was thinking of touching those arms. But, it would be the densest idea to do that.

"How long am I sleeping?" I asked.

"About a couple of hours." He said impersonally.

"Okey."

I faced the mirror. I found myself looking vulnerably at the reflection. There was me, standing in front of it. And, at my back is the reflection of the one who kidnapped me and probably the one who I should blame in all these confusions in my head, Uchiha Itachi. He was standing there, looking at the mirror undemonstratively. I examined his reflection very thoroughly. He had girl-like features. The typical boy-next-door look, as everyone said. I looked deeply in his eyes. They were so shadowy. They were so attractive… very attractive. Those eyes, which have seen a lot of bloodsheds and corpses, an instrument of ultimate misdeeds and death. How could these eyes probably survive such scenes of bereavement?

"What are you looking at?" he asked suddenly.

"Nothing. Just my dress."

"It is exactly fits you."

"Yeah."

"Your old clothes are been thrown to the lake. You don't need them."

"Uhm… can I know who change my clothes anyway?"

Itachi sat at the edge of the bed. He looked at me sideways. I decided to stand in front of him. I noticed I wasn't wearing anything as my footwear. I suddenly saw a pair of sandals. So, I sat in the bed and decided to wear them.

"You want to know who change your clothes?" he asked again.

"Of course!" I screeched.

"I did."

"You did… change… YOU WHAT?" My eyes widened in surprise.

"I changed your clothes."

"You. Just. Changed. My. Clothes! Meaning… you saw it?"

"Saw what?"

"My… body… you… saw it…"

"Yeah. So, what?"

"What 'so what'? I'm a girl! And… that's…"

I turned away from him. I did it so he could not see that my cheeks were now glowing in red. I was extremely surprised. I wanted to faint. He was the one who changed my clothes! This was so embarrassing!

"You're blushing." He said, as he grabbed my left arm so I can turn to him.

"No, I'm not."

"Then, why are your cheeks glowing in red?"

I didn't answered. I bowed down so he could not see my expression. I was about to cry. I never thought that the one who kidnapped me would be the first one to see me… naked! He kidnapped me, and then anything could happen. I was about to cry, not because of despair but of embarrassment.

"Don't worry. I didn't do anything to you. Nobody is available to change your clothes, so I volunteered to do it. Also, I'll be your guardian."

Those words assured me. I took in a deep breath. I finally looked at him, with a puppy look in my eyes. I looked sideways and bit my lower lip.

"Ah… guardian… I don't get it."

"Surely, ANBUs will be looking now for you. Of course, I'll be the one to guard you from them. You are now an Akatsuki property."

Property. That word sent shivers to my spine. Once again, I was a property. But now, I was a possession of an organization, an assassin organization. This was the thing I was born at.

We suddenly heard someone knocking at the door. Itachi stood up and told to me.

"Just sit here, and don't go anywhere. Or else, I'll kill you myself."

He walked to the door and slowly opened it. A girl appeared in the doorsteps. She was beautiful. She had a long green hair with dark blue eyes. She was wearing a typical ninja suit, except that she was wearing boots rather than sandals.

"Itachi, Master wants to talk to you. Is she already awake?"

"Yeah. What does he want?"

"I don't know. Maybe he'll ask you about what happen."

"I'll go."

Itachi looked at me with a stern look. He gave me a faint smile.

"You stay here. I'll be back."

"You don't need to worry," said the girl. "That's why I'm here. Master requested me to look after her while you are talking to him."

"Thanks. Be sure she's still breathing when I get back, or else…"

"Yeah… yeah… yeah… Go on. I can handle her."

Itachi looked at me the last time. He pointed his index finger to me, as if he was reminding me not to go elsewhere. He was stupid. I can't go anywhere, for I don't know where to go.

The girl closed the door gently. She walked around the room, and sat at the chair of the vanity table. She looked at me. Her eyes looked up and down.

"There's really nothing special on how you look. You're just angelic and beautiful. I still don't get it why Master wants you to be here." She remarked.

"I also don't get it too."

"You amused me. Our prisoners usually cried for mercy in front of us and begged to be spare. And, here you are… so calm and so collected. Why? Do you expect anyone to rescue you?"

"No one."

"Then why are you so calm?"

"Sooner or later, I'll be dead. And, I'm happy to know that."

"Oh… such strong words. Want to end your life?"

"It already ended. It was just my body who was living."

"Hmm… much deeper than I expected. Anyway, I'm Keiko, and your name must be… Subaru! Right?"

"Yes."

"Chill out, girl. You're too serious."

She stopped speaking when the door opened. Itachi came back. He was carrying a tray of food. He signaled Keiko to get out of the room.

"Oh well… Subaru. I guess this is the end of our nice chitchat. Hope to see you using your bloodline."

"If you can convince me."

She bid goodbye. Then, went to Itachi's direction and said.

"She's totally a gloomy person. What's gotten on her?"

"None of my business."

"Yeah! Since when did Itachi care about others?"

"Just go out before I beat you up."

"Fine!"

Keiko bid a wave at me before she closed the door. I gave her a faint smile. I was quite amused talking with her. She's just like a typical girl full of curiosity about one's life. Seems like meddling someone's privacy. A rumormonger, that's the right word. I gazed to Itachi while he's preparing the food in the table. I suddenly felt lonely.

Since when did I become so happy? When? All my life was in pain, and I was born with it. Pain and despair are my best friends. Pain can never put away his eyes on me. And despair? My only comfort pillow I can cling with. Nothing left but pain and hopelessness. My soul was already empty and my heart was already dead. I've become so numb to everything that surrounds me. And now, I should be used to it. I was with the most uncompassionate human beings. Ninjas. I hate them deep in my heart.

…For all they know is to kill human beings…

My thoughts were disturbed by Itachi's cough. He meant it. Maybe because, he was calling my attention and I was not driven by it. I was about to speak when he spoke.

"You should eat. You'll be joining with me at the dinner with Master. He wants to meet you."

I stood up from the bed and approached him. I shrugged. I looked at the food, and there were the most delicious food I ever saw in my life. I suddenly remembered my mom's home cooking. They were also delicious…

"Thank you." I told him.

He assisted me to take a seat. I breathed deeply. I was about to take the chopsticks when I noticed he was looking at me.

"Now what? Are you going to watch me as I eat?"

He shrugged.

I picked up the chopsticks and chose the first viand I will eat. I chose sashimi because it was my favorite. I opened my mouth slowly and chewed it thoroughly.

"How was it?" he asked.

"Fine. It was edible."

"Hmm… seems like they've changed the chef."

"Yeah. They've changed the chef… a chef expert in putting poison on his foods without anyone noticing."

"You'll be staying here in our headquarters. If I have any missions, you'll be coming with me. Or, Kisame will be taking care of you. You are free to wander around. But, you have to ask my permission. Understood?"

I was so busy eating the food. It was so delicious. I was thinking that this might be the last food of my life. Any minute, I'll be choking and poisoned. End of Ichikawa Subaru… I wickedly grinned, then a snap suddenly brought me back.

"Are you listening, Subaru?" Itachi asked exasperately.

"Ah… yeah… I am."

"Make sure you are. Or else, I'll cut your ears of."

That was my first day at Akatsuki headquarters. It was dreadful. The house was surrounded by ninjas vigilantly guarding the area. They were so sensitive in every movement and every sound they could hear or feel. I felt like I was in high-sensitive building with complete latest set of security gadgets. I was an expected visitor, that's what I observed. I just heard from the ninjas outside the window that Uchiha Itachi is the best Akatsuki member.

Best. Meaning, I can't escape his protection. He was my assigned guardian. They've gave me their best member to kidnap me and at the same time, look after me.

And, the worst thing was… I don't know what am I suppose to do or, why I was here…

I was completely clueless…

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_A/N: Chapter 4 is done! I hope you like it. Thanks for reading it. I just finished my assignment in Literature and so much inspired to write so I create this chapter that easily. Please Review! Review… review… and, thanks to CoolRiku and AznNarutoGrl-91. Arigato! I'm out of here. Have a nice day!_


	5. Journal Entry 5

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. So tired of repeating this line… very much... _

_**Note:** This chapter is a little naughty. I already warned you! This is bit sexy, so better watch out!

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**JOURNAL ENTRY 5: SEDUCTION

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"Are you finished watching me chewing and swallowing the food?" I asked him infuriatingly.

He just blinked his eyes reluctantly. He was making me so uncomfortable! Not only he's a ninja, but also I don't like when people watching me while eating. He's so pathetic, heartless human being. But, he still amused me with his beautiful eyes… and still wondered…

… Why was his eyes are red?

"If you are already finish watching me eat, observe me slowly dying from the poison I've just ate!" I yelled at him.

I urgently stood up in my seat and walked to the bed. I suddenly felt itchy at my back. I inserted my left hand at my back and tried to reach that itchy part. I unexpectedly heard him laughed.

His laugh was dreadful. It was so cruel, yet I like it. His voice was so harmonious. It was so… ethereal. What was going on with me? Am I just admiring his icy voice? It was like he was so satisfied from watching me eating! Or, maybe…

… He was laughing because there's really a poison in my food?

Itachi suddenly stopped laughing. It was so sudden. I was even surprised. He was like an insane maniac killer who just killed someone. Well, I was supposed not to be surprised. After all, he was an assassin.

He leisurely stood from his seat and opened one of cabinets in the room. He suddenly threw a towel at me. He pointed the door beside the vanity table.

"Take a bath there. You should look presentable. Master will be scolding us if he notice that you've not taken care that much. But, he did scold us. He saw your wounds."

"And how did you take it?" I asked him kindly while untying my red auburn hair. I took a brush from the vanity table and slowly ran it to my hair.

"Lightly. It was nothing to me. Although, it was my first time, I was already used to it." he said halfheartedly.

"Ah… so, it was your first time to be scolded? Why is your Master so conscious about me? Since, he don't even know me, and I don't deserve such welcome."

"It is important for him."

"Important?"

He suddenly turned his back. I breathed sharply. I didn't want anybody to turn their backs at me while having a conversation with them. I felt abandoned and rejected when they did it. And, that's what I'm feeling right now. I hated it.

"Stop asking too much questions, Subaru."

So, I stopped. I decided to just take a nice shower to take all my worries away… temporarily. I removed gradually my sandals. There was a Chinese wall for dressing up just beside the bed. I walked there and started to undress my clothes. I was bit conscious because I know that Itachi was still here. I felt so uneasy. I felt my privacy was being interfered.

After removing all my clothes, I hung them to that wall. I wore the blue towel over my body to cover it. I slowly stepped out of it, and saw Itachi sitting at the edge of my bed. He looked at me impishly.

"What?" I asked.

He just smirked. His facial expressions were hard to understand. They were capricious. I can't see right through him like I can usually do to others. Maybe I've already met my match.

"Whatever." I exclaimed.

I was only wearing a towel when I stepped out. My hair was untied and revealed my features. I suddenly heard a chuckle when I touched the bathroom doorknob.

I annoyingly looked at Itachi. He was now smiling wickedly at me. I didn't even like it. I'll be going insane if this continue. But why am I so conscious about this?

He suddenly removed his shirt, and also took off his sandals. I stared in awe when I saw it. I blushed. Good thing, he didn't saw it. He lied down at the bed and looked at me. He was staring in the ceiling with that naughty smile. I now knew what he meant.

"Are you trying to seduce me?" I asked playfully.

"Should I?"

"Try me."

He chuckled devilishly. He was a living incarnate from hell. I heard again that evil chuckle. It created goose bumps all over my body. I just realized I was playing with a devil in person. He suddenly turned his body to my direction and leaned his head on his hands, just like posing for a magazine.

The truth was, he was a perfect Adonis in my front. He was so much beautiful to handle. I was sweating and my body was shivering. Just to realize, that the door was locked, and we were the only one in this room. Anything can happen. And, anything goes here in this headquarters. Of course! He was Uchiha Itachi. Everyone respects and bow their heads in front of him.

… But it was like I'm about to bow down to him…

… I was helplessly attracted!

"Let me think," he spoke. "You want me to try seducing you. I got to tell you, many lady ninjas here in Akatsuki dream of being alone with me. They would sacrifice everything to do that. And, here I am… being challenge by a girl I don't even know. Such pity…"

"Honestly, why should I challenge you in the first place? After all, I'm not that kind of girl you are talking about. Why should I spend a night with a ninja that kidnap me? And, possibly, could be the reason of my confused mind?"

"Ladies are all the same, Subaru. If they like the guy, they'll do anything."

"I maybe agree, but not all ladies, Itachi. Not all."

"How could you prove me that, Subaru?"

"How? Maybe right now, you'll see."

He stood up from the bed. I was now being so courageous to defend my reputation and existence as a lady. I wouldn't let him ripped off my dignity as a lady. Now, that he was my guardian…

… But I have to take note…

… He was still the devil in disguise…

He came closer to me, closer and closer. I can saw clearly his features. His slender, athletic body, his fair complexion, his smooth skin and like that. I was running out of words to describe it. He was Adonis… or maybe Narcissus. And, here I was… I was Echo… disparaged by his presence, so down to bow for it. I was sure that his fans would happily die and scream for this event. They've wanted this all their life.

"So, explain me… my little Subaru."

He was now running his fingers through my shoulder. I was about to chuckle because it was tickling me. I tried to control myself from getting out of control. I suddenly blushed.

"And, my little Subaru is blushing."

"You're tickling me… you know that."

"I was? Very interesting."

After his fingers ran through my shoulder, I breathed deeply. It was like a barrier was restricting my respiration. But, that was not all. Now, his index finger was touching the edge of my lips. I was looking at it, as if I was craving for it. I snapped out myself from the temptation. I suddenly opened the door and entered it. Before I close the door, I sneaked my head out of it. I stuck my tongue out, and winked.

"You can never seduce me that way, Uchiha Itachi. Never!"

Before I slammed the door, I saw Itachi's eyes sparkle in frenzy and affection. It means he was really trying to seduce me. He just gave me a very proud smirk. As if, he was saying to me that 'I'll get you one day, you'll see'. I was happy to saw that smirk. Wait? Did I just say happy?

Yes, I was. And, it was the most unbelievable and ridiculous idea. I leaned my head on the wall and stared at the ceiling. The bathroom was beautiful. It was like made for a castle. As I stared at the ceiling, I was imaging Itachi's looks… especially when he removed his shirt.

I suddenly chuckled in mischief and joy. I just made Uchiha Itachi removed his shirt! And, I just realized that he was driven by my words. I suddenly put my hands over my mouth.

"He is serious! He is damn serious about it!"

I yelled it inside the bathroom over and over again. My eyes widened. I looked at the mirror and gazed at my reflection. I removed my towel and hung it to the towel rack. I suddenly smirked and talked to my reflection.

"Subaru, when was the last time you challenge a guy to flirt with you? Or, just challenge them into something? Master always tells you that you're a bitch. Always flirting with guys around the mansion. And, now… you're not doing anything. You just stepped out of that opaque wall with just a towel on, and he suddenly removed his shirt. Maybe, Master knows that you can flirt with guys without doing anything. Wicked, Subaru… very wicked!"

For the very first time in my life, I felt so happy about myself. I felt proud. My self-esteem increased and I was so ease to myself. It was the first time I courageously fight for what I believe and what I perceive. I was so much confident to stand up from the mess I was in.

And, for the record… Subaru Ichikawa became delighted. Unexplainably blissful. I didn't know how. I didn't know why. But was happy. That's all I know. I felt my soul was encouraged, and my heart… throbbing little by little.

It was crazy to say this, but maybe Itachi made me happy after all. Not that sexual arousal thing, but he boosted my esteem to make a step. I never felt so childish and so happy. He made my day seriously happy, unintentionally…

… And temporarily…

After this, everything will be back to normal.

I stepped into the bathtub. The water was hot. It was refreshing. I dip my face to it. The warmness of the water made me feel relaxed. Maybe, this will take out temporarily my doubts, confusions and the lies that running out through my mind.

All I know for now was that, the best assassin of Akatsuki, Uchiha Itachi just accepted my challenge. I should be vigilant. Men could be aggressive sometimes…

… Especially when they were challenged…

… Challenged by very valiant ladies… (By experience? I think so.)

That thought made me smile. But there's a feeling of contrition, I know this bliss wouldn't last long. It will fade. Soon, I'll be creeping around again to my shell of self-pity and despair, and soon…

… My mind will play tricks to me again…

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_A/N: Hehe! This is one is bit naught! Hehe! Expect more naughtiness now that Itachi just accepted Subaru's little challenge. I wonder how far this can get. My little wicked mind! Hehe! Please suggest anything what do you want to happen about this challenge. Hope you like this chapter. Please Review! Please? Got to go, have to review for my Biochemistry quiz! I'm out of here. Have a nice day!_


	6. Journal Entry 6

_Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine… New form of sentences but it still the same! WAAAH!

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**JOURNAL ENTRY 6: REVEAL, MANIPULATE AND AVENGE

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I was now looking at the mirror, as my tears flooded my eyes. This is really weird. I was just so happy and so encourage before, and here I was…

… Crying in the front of the mirror.

I was afraid. I was scared. I didn't know why. My whole body was shivering in fear and horror. I was frozen at the moment I saw my tears slowly falling down my cheeks. I still didn't understand. I suddenly heard a knock in the door. I wiped my eyes and cleared my throat.

"Yes?"

"Faster, Subaru. It's already 30 minutes after six o'clock. We need to be there by seven o'clock."

That voice. I sighed. It's Itachi. So, he was waiting for me all along. I thought he was already outside my room because silence already invaded it. I shut myself up from crying. I tied up the towel around my body and slowly turned the doorknob. I opened the door, and…

… I was surprised when I felt a warm touch in my lips.

I felt his arms around my waist. He was pressing my body against his. I want to step back but there's no turning back. I can't escape from his grip. It was too strong to struggle. He was starting to deepen the kiss when I realized…

… I actually liked it.

He moved his lips apart for a while for me to breathe. I was about to pull away from him, but he deepened the kiss. It was warm, yet so bitter. It was actually entrancing. I wouldn't last long if he continued this. I found myself putting my arms around his neck. A few seconds later, he parted from my lips. I just closed my eyes and my tears started to flood my eyes again. His arms were still at my waist, and my arms, around his neck.

"Subaru, why are you crying?"

He asked me reluctantly. He wouldn't care if I told him what I feel. So I just turned away from him and wiped my tears with my arms. I felt like a stupid lady in front of him.

"It was nothing." I told him.

I walked to the opaque wall again, and dressed up. I still wonder how Itachi took what I just did. He might be annoyed, offended or just he could ignore it. I didn't know. But I left him standing in the front of the bathroom door. I felt bad about what I just did.

… I felt bad to myself to respond to such kiss of…

… An assassin, a ninja, a murderer…

As I finished dressing up, I walked to the vanity table and found Itachi looking at my reflection. My eyes were red, because of crying. He was looking at me. His eyes were bloody red, and were also in bloody curiosity.

"Subaru, why did you cry?"

He asked again. I just sighed. I continued brushing my damp hair with the brush. I was brushing my hair slowly. My eyes were lost in my own reflection, looking desperately for facts to answer the questions in my head. This is pathetic. I knew everything would go back to normal. Except that Itachi wasn't going back to his normal heartless self. He was concerned.

I felt sorry for myself. I shouldn't kiss him. I detested ninjas all of my heart, and here I was, just kissed the man who kidnap me. And, the shower… it awfully reminds me…

… The bloody rain happened many years ago…

That made me cry. My feelings and mourning were bottled up for several years. My tears were nothing but for sorrow and pain. I knew that the bliss I felt a while ago was just a transitory delight. It was more like an illusion, a dream. For the reality check…

… Subaru never felt happiness to last long…

As I finished fixing myself, we both went out of the room. Itachi escorted me to the very badly lit corridor. Nobody of us was speaking. It was all of a sudden. We were both just teasing ourselves for a seduction and now, we were shut by the silence, or…

… Maybe I was just the only one being shut by the stillness?

We arrived at the dining room. I saw different kind of ninjas with the same look at their eyes. The dreadful glare of the assassins, or should I say, murderers. He assisted me to seat at the dining table. He turned his back on me, and positioned himself. He was standing at near the back of my seat.

The dining room was spacious and magnificent. There were beautiful hanging chandeliers. They were sparkling like the stars in the night sky. The plates and other dining utensils were properly arranged, just like what I was seeing at the mansion. The table was a long and wide one. But, seems like there's only two people to eat tonight.

Suddenly, a muscular man entered the room. He was wearing a dark cape same as Itachi when I first saw him. But, he had a different one. There was a glint of greed and selfishness I saw in his eyes. He sat at the other end of the table. He cleared his throat and the other ninjas disappeared in a puff of smoke. Only Itachi was left and Kisame.

"So, Ichikawa Subaru… welcome at the headquarters."

His voice was familiar. I heard it somewhere before. He had an explicit expression of warm welcome in his face. He was seems so contented, yet I felt a power-hungry man hiding in his shadow. He had a scar near his left eye.

… That scar… seems so familiar.

I felt electricity running through my spine. I clenched my fist as I started to remember why this man so familiar in my eyes. His eyes, his glare, his smile…

… He was one of those ninjas who killed my family…

And, I knew, he knows it. I can clearly conclude that in his eyes. His smile had not changed for several years. It was twelve years ago since I saw him and how bloodthirsty and ruthless were his eyes. It was still the same. I felt I was going back to the time I saw him.

"I know you'd become a beautiful lady. With such fragile demeanor and natural grace. It was twelve years ago since I last saw you."

I gulped. I met again the ninja whom if I still remember, the one who killed my older brother, and my sisters. His hazel eyes were starting at me in admiration, and of… lust.

"Twelve years… I wish you cut it short." I told him lackadaisically.

"You already wish you are dead, right? But, Subaru… such ability… or should I say… abilities you have should not be wasted. I've waited for this moment."

"What do you really want from me?"

He asked one of the waiters (don't know if that is a waiter or still a ninja) to serve us the food. The food was enticing, but I felt no hunger in my stomach.

… Just the hunger of revenge and hate.

"Itachi…" he called. "… Make sure she's comfortable here. No one comes close to her except you and Kisame. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Makoto-sama." He replied apathetically.

Makoto (the Master) picked up his chopsticks and started to eat eagerly. He then glared at me and said.

"Why don't you eat, Subaru?"

"I have no appetite on eating right now."

"I respect that. But wouldn't you try some of these viands?"

"No."

He sighed, and then he smirked. He carefully wiped his mouth with the napkin. He started to speak.

"I never thought you'd survive. I haven't heard anything about you after that incident. Such miserable life can be."

"Yeah… you, ninjas made it miserable."

"No, Subaru. It was the Second Hokage's command, and during that time, the Third Hokage continued it, and so as the Fourth. And also the other Kages of other villages."

"It is still the same. Those Hokages are also ninjas right? And, you're a ninja. So, there's nothing to blame but you, and those bloodthirsty… eradicators like you."

"I actually… protested about that command."

"You protested? That's too impossible."

"Yes, I did. It sounded not like me, but I did. I found your clan so powerful same as Uchiha and Hyuuga. I told them that annihilating such race would be a great disgrace in Konoha. I even suggest them to ask for your help. But, still… they found your family such abominable."

"You are the one should be called abominable…" I starting to scream, but I tried to control it. "…You still continued such assassination and agree with it."

"I'm still a blinded ninja… those days were the worst, Subaru."

"Blinded? Excuses… Just tell me what you want from me!" I yelled.

I sharply sighed. I looked at my fist. They were clenched so hard. It was already crimson due to the force I was applying to it. I saw my reflection from the water in the glass. My eyes were shining in hate, yet behind it…

… Hides a unfortunate weak girl looking for her graveyard…

"I'll go straight to the point. I heard of your existence when one of the ninjas reported one incident in Kyboshing mansion."

I remembered that incident. I killed forty wolves all at the same time at the forest near at the mansion, in a flash. It suddenly disseminated to the village. There were sweat drops in my forehead. I just blinked at him.

"She killed forty wolves? So, the news was right! But, that's too impossible. She too weak for those wolves." Kisame said.

"Yes, Kisame. And, I already saw that kind of ability when she was three. Right, Subaru."

I felt I was being interrogated. I felt like cold water was pouring out to me. My heart was beating faster than it's usual rate. I never thought that he still remembered.

"Then… you… saw… it…" I replied.

"Oh yes! I can feel the force of the power within you. I was so astonish to see such ability from a three-year old girl. I was also surprise that you're not using your chakra."

"She's not using her chakra! Could that be possible?" Kisame exclaimed.

"Yes, Kisame. She's not…" Makoto answered Kisame with his eyes glaring at me. I looked sideways to avoid his eyes.

"… The truth, Kisame… it's her bloodline. She can crush, kill and destroy anybody with just looking at it, without any chakra being wasted or used. No, it's not only the clan's bloodline skill. It's one of the Ichikawa's bloodline abilities."

"That unusual." Itachi said. I know he was staring at me. I can feel his eyes, staring at me.

"That's not unusual. It's real, Itachi. It sounded like a legend, but I saw it with my both eyes. Even the past Hokages don't believe in such ability. They stated that they've done a forbidden jutsu. But, I saw everything. Their bloodline abilities were natural to them. One can have two or more. And, Subaru… has five."

I gazed at him at awe. I was surprised that he knew it. My breathing was already short in tension. I didn't want to remember anymore about my bloodline abilities. I've already buried them underneath my memories.

"How. Did. You. Know. About. These?" I asked him wrathfully.

"I was requested by the Fourth Hokage to spy in your hacienda. I saw you training everyday with your sisters. They were also strong, but they've found out that you are stronger than them, so they've trained you so hard for you to become a warrior. Am I right?"

He was right. I was supposed to enroll at the ninja academy. My family and so as my relatives wanted me to become a kunoichi medic. They've planned it so much. I was excited too. So, my sisters trained me everyday and taught me every Ichikawa hidden techniques. I was just a three-year-old kid, and knew everything. I also knew that my clan was forbidden to join the academy. But my father was so persistent. They were planning to change my last name so I could enroll. But, nothing in this plan succeeded…

… After telling me this plan, my clan was murdered, assassinated, and killed…

… And Makoto was one of it…

I can still remember everything. It was the Fourth Hokage back then. They were using different kinds of jutsus. I can still remember how lightning, and all sorts of elemental jutsus killed my father. I was too innocent of those kinds of scenes.

"I know how much hate you have for Konoha. And, Akatsuki wanted so much to destroy and invade Konoha." Makoto said.

"What's the connection?" I asked grudgingly.

"If you're on our side, we can easily destroy Konoha… and so as the other countries. With your abilities, they can be easily eliminated and invaded. If you did that, you've already avenged your family. Through Akatsuki, you can easily avenge your family."

I suddenly calmed down. He was right. With my abilities, I can easily avenge my family, and I can live a peaceful life. I sighed. I have abilities that what more a ninja can do. They can't heal with just bare hands! Nor, killed a very strong warrior without any weapon! This is reality. I was a strong lady. But, there's still a problem. My abilities were out of control since I was become sorrowful and regretful. I didn't know anymore how to start.

"So, I'll give you three days to decide. If you want to have a longer time for my offer, just tell Itachi and Kisame. I'll never hurry you up. You're such a jewel. We are taking a big gamble here." He said. His eyes were sparkling like diamond in interest.

"I'll… think… about… it…" I said with my voice shivering in pressure.

There was a sudden loud cracking sound heard from the table. I was not surprised, yet I heard Makoto laughed greedily. He saw the glasses and even the vases crushed into pieces. It was my fault. Because of my hate and the pressure I'm taking in, I became out of control and caused my first ability to emerge. I lost my grip to my emotions.

"That's what I'm talking about, Kisame! Did you see that?" Makoto said enthusiastically.

Kisame checked the glasses. The glasses were pulverized. It was already fine crystal glasses.

"Whoa! You're a heck of a destroyer!" Kisame praised.

"Unpredictably powerful." Itachi replied.

I just wish that I were just killed by those ninjas twelve years ago. I always wished that my abilities just disappeared. It's not benefit. Albeit, I kept them, it will always emerge. Especially that I haven't use them for a long time and lose my touch.

This is my reality. I can't escape. The fact that I'm a part of a clan known to be as destroyers and annihilators is an inevitable truth. Many times, I have committed to kill myself but there were voices in my head… telling me…

_… You still have to exist. You have a mission… _

_… Establish our clan… _

_… Clean our reputation… _

_… We are watching you…_

I was pressured by the fact that I wanted to have vengeance, but part of me was telling me not to do it. I was caught in the middle. If this continue…

… It will be the end of me…

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_A/N: This was the longest chapter so far. I know some the questions were answered by this chapter. Thanks to those who gave me reviews to my last chapters. I was so delighted! Hehe! The last three sentences remind me of Marion Raven's latest release. Anyway, hope you like this one! Please review! Puhlease? I'm out of here. Have a nice day!_


	7. Journal Entry 7

_Disclaimer: For the 7th time, I don't own Naruto. If I will be given an opportunity in my next life… I'll be the one who will own it! HAHAHAHAHA! 'Nuff said.

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**JOURNAL ENTRY 7: GOODNIGHT KISS

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I was walking with Itachi and Kisame in the same corridor. It was shadowy. Only the candles hanging on the walls were the source of light. I felt I was walking in an ancient hall or something like that. I was standing at the middle of them both, but walking slower than them. (So I was at their back.) I was staring at the floor with a gaze of a hesitant freak. I felt that my head was already heavy and about to break up from all the questions, lies, and confusions within of it. I felt a sudden ache from the temples of my head. I touched both of them and rubbed it circularly. I suddenly stopped when I hit my head to Itachi and Kisame's shoulder blades.

"Why did you stop?" I asked.

"Just be quiet!" Kisame replied.

So, I kept my mouth shut. I wanted to see why they suddenly stop, so I sneaked my head above their shoulders to see what's in front of them. I tiptoed to clearly see it. Kisame turned his head to his shoulder. He looked at me in bewildered expression. I just gazed his face and smile sweetly.

"Who are they?" I asked.

"None of your business." Itachi replied.

"Humph! I was just only curious who they are."

Yeah. I should expect that kind of answer from a person like Uchiha Itachi. He was a person who doesn't ask because he doesn't care. As long as the mission interests him and get his job done, it's already fine to him. The figures were getting closer to where we are. Slowly, I recognized their features.

There were two men. The one had a very large body. Not really fat, he did have a muscular shape. He had jet black eyes. He was carrying a scythe at his back. The other one was very recognizable. He had very bright eyes. It was golden eyes. They were shimmering in the dark, behind the shadow of this gloomy hallway. He had two katana attached on his waist. This one had a very distinguishing smile and with his platinum blonde hair, he such a very handsome man!

"Uchiha Itachi how's the mission?" The handsome man asked him.

"Fine." Itachi answered.

"Look, Iyasu. There's a pretty little angel at their back." The muscular guy pointed his index finger to me.

I was surprised to be called an angel. I was even disturbed by that. So much distracted about what that large guy called me, I lost my balance. I fell at the middle of Itachi and Kisame. But, Itachi caught me before I fell in the floor.

"That happens to the people who meddles other business." Itachi exclaimed.

"I'm not meddling business here! I was just curious! Didn't you get that?" I answered.

"Itachi, you should treat a lady with respect." The handsome man said.

Iyasu (the handsome man) approached me. He held my right hand and kissed it. I suddenly moved it away from him after he did that. I raised my left eyebrow but my cheeks were blushing. If it wasn't me, she'll surely faint. This man was too much handsome to deal with.

"May I know your name?" Iyasu asked.

"Ah… Subaru…" I replied shyly.

"Such a nice name for an angel lost in this place."

"Hmm…"

I was surprised when Itachi fronted himself between Iyasu and me. His long hair buried my vision. Kisame liked preparing for a fight. Itachi's hair also smelt so good! Anyway, he blocked my way to see Iyasu. I complained.

"Why did you do that?"

"Master told me that no one would come to you."

"Foolish! But, he never told you that no one can speak to me!"

I moved beside Itachi. I was surprised to see that they were staring at each other. It was like; they were already cursing each other thru their stares. They were frozen, Itachi, with his cynical look and Iyasu, with this bitter smile in his lips. There was silence of rage in the air. I smiled shyly and spoke in very sweet but low tone.

"Ah… Itachi… I think we should keep going…"

But no one answered me. It made me annoyed. I decided to front myself in the middle. My hands were on my waist, and looking at Itachi. I smiled to him faintly and told him.

"We should keep going. I'm sleepy."

"I think we should." He answered.

"At last! I was heard! Thank you heavens!"

Iyasu suddenly smiled at him in cunning way. I felt a rivalry connecting this both Akatsuki ninjas. Itachi's eyes were staring Iyasu's eyes in fury. I held Itachi's hand to let him now that I'm ready to go. I was surprised that his hand adjusted to grip in my wrist. It was hard and firm. He suddenly turned his back to Iyasu. With his eyes still in rage, he left him with a very strong word.

"No one comes close to her, Iyasu. Not even a strand of your hair."

"She's not your property, Itachi. She's an Akatsuki property, so I know where I should position myself." Iyasu yelled with a cold stare.

"Bye, sweet angel Subaru! Hope to see you around!" shouted by the muscular man.

"Ah… Yeah…" I yelled while trying hard to turn my head.

Actually, Itachi was already dragging me to the corridor. His clutch to my wrist was hurting me. I struggled so hard to get away. It was like this until we get back to our room.

Kisame opened the door. I was surprised when Itachi threw me up like a stuff toy in the bed. I fell down with my face in the surface of the bed. I noticed that Kisame went out of the room after Itachi did that to me. I gently rose up my head to see Itachi's expression.

His blood red eyes were in great fury. It was blazing in anger and rage. I felt my heart beat faster. I found myself shivering in such horror and terror. His stare was deadly. It was dreadful. I was looking and facing the devil himself. I wanted to run away but I can't. I was frozen right at that moment. I want to scream but there's no voice coming out of my mouth. I just closed my eyes. I was waiting for anything that could happen. After few seconds I decided to open my eyes. I didn't saw Itachi in front of me, but actually…

… He was beside me!

His hands on his face, and he was like talking to himself. His elbows were resting at his lap. I heard him saying like this…

_"What the heck is happening to me?" _

I scratched my head. Yet, I found myself suddenly in pain. I found myself looking at the wrist that Itachi was holding while we were at the corridor. I tried to move it, but I really hurt me. I let go of little yelp of twinge. Itachi suddenly turned his head to me. I was surprised.

He looked at me suspiciously. There's a glint of pleading forgiveness and his eyes… he also looked like he was confused and bewildered. He slowly grabbed my wrist and checked it out.

"I held it too tight. Just be still, I'll get a bandage."

He stood up slowly in the bed. He opened one of the drawers at the vanity table. He came back with a bandage in his hands and slowly held my hand. He was so gentle in handling it. He slowly but gracefully put the bandage around my injured wrist. My wrist was swollen. He was really strong. He can actually kill me in an instant with that grip. He was trying hard not to show any emotion on what he was doing. But his eyes were saying something. I was just too scared to look him straight in his eyes.

There was too much to interpret behind this silence. There were mixed feelings covered by this deafening silence. It was so much corrupted by many complicated and unexplainable emotions. I wanted to break the silence, but it was so fragile to break it. I found myself slowly looking at Itachi's eyes.

I suddenly remembered my first thoughts about his eyes. How beautiful and how wonderful they are. I still remembered the feeling I felt when I was imagining it, how my memory keep on recalling his eyes. It was so beautiful. And here I was, looking straight at his eyes. Now, his eyes were more than beautiful. It was mostly like a celestial object. It was shining brightly in the room. The only source of light was the small lampshade beside the vanity table. I suddenly noticed that he was now looking into my eyes too. He was looking deep into my eyes. I wanted to resist it, but slowly I was starting to stare at him, as if we were talking with our eyes as our mouth, and the expressions inside it were the language we were using. We both heard the doorknob twitched. And, he slowly let go of my hand and I slowly moved away from him.

"Itachi, what happen to her? I suddenly heard a moan." Kisame asked.

"Nothing happened, Kisame. Nothing…" He said.

He looked at my direction while saying those words. Kisame leisurely sat down in the sofa near the door. He was now wearing a simple shirt and green pants. He also brought a big yellow pillow.

"Are you going to sleep here, Kisame?" I asked while I moved away from Itachi and reached for the brush in the vanity table.

I slowly removed the black ribbon tied in my hair. I wiggled my head from left to right. My hair was covering my sight but I can saw Kisame imitating me. I pouted when I stopped wiggling. He suddenly laughed loudly.

"Hahaha! You look like a kid!" Kisame exclaimed.

"Oh yeah? If I look like a kid, you look like a rhinoceros…" I yelled.

"I look like a rhinoceros? How dare you said that!"

"Look how pale you are! Your color resembles… an elephant, you dimwit!"

"And look at you! A lady should carry poise and elegance… not like you… you're like… a tomboy!"

"I don't care! I don't need elegance to live, you blob head!"

"You…" Kisame gritted his teeth. He was about to throw the pillow he was holding.

I laughed heartily. I was like a child. I jumped in my bed and slowly removed my sandals. I hugged the red pillow as I continued to laugh.

"Hey, Itachi! Did Subaru already know about the electrifying competition you got with Iyasu?" asked Kisame.

I suddenly stopped. I looked at Itachi who was now standing beside in the window. He was looking outside. The moonlight showed his best features in his face, his eyes, and his mouth…

I suddenly remembered what he did to me after my shower. I looked at him with such grace and stealth. I didn't want him to notice me looking at me in such way. But, Kisame noticed it.

"Hey, Subaru! Don't look at Itachi like that. You'll never have him."

"What the hell are you talking about? You frigging madcap."

"Then, why are you looking at him like that?"

"It's none of your business, pug faced!"

"You…" Kisame gritted again his teeth.

"Stop it, Kisame. We should get some sleep. I'll sleep here, and Kisame… you sleep near the door." Itachi said.

"What? That gray pug faced will sleep here!" I yelled.

"No choice, Subaru." Itachi exclaimed.

"Yeah… no choice… you have no choice…" Kisame said.

"Do I have a choice?" I replied.

I decided to just lie down at my bed. I stared at the ceiling and still reminiscing that very luscious kiss we had. What am I thinking? Why does that scene always flashing in my head? That's just a kiss! It's nothing more than a wave. It'll be more different if that kiss is for…

… Love…

But I never believed in true love. For me, love was only for people who deserve a life of happiness and contentment. I didn't have. People who have love had everything in the world. Family, friends, relative, close peers, and of course…

… The one they mostly love…

… The half of their souls…

"I'm going to turn off the lampshade already. Any objection?" Kisame asked.

I ignored what he said. Then, he turned off the lampshade. I covered the blanket into my face and hugged the throw pillow. I was still thinking of Makoto's offer. I was even thinking of being part of Akatsuki. But still, there were questions in my head that contradict with the offer.

What will I get if I have my revenge? Will I ever find that 'peace' in my inner self? Will these delusions ever stop? Will the ghosts of the bloody rains stop haunting me? Will I ever make them happy if I decided to join them?

Will I find delight? Will I ever understand? Will I ever had a chance? That's wrong. Maybe this is the right question. If I ever had my revenge, would be a sign of second chance to live again as a normal Konoha citizen? But to think of it… Akatsuki wants to destroy Konoha, so…

… I'll have no place left to go…

But I can still go with Akatsuki. With them, I can hone and practice my skills. I can be the strongest warrior that my clan wants me to be. But there's something wrong…

… If I did, I will be just like them…

… An assassin, a killer…

So, I haven't still found the reason why should I agree with it, or let him down. He was maybe manipulating me for his own plans, and blackmailed me with my inner emotions. This is going too far! I felt the fate was playing me. Nobody can play with my emotions, and now… I was the object of the game.

Stop thinking! I thought to myself. I slowly closed my eyes. There was fear of having the same dream again. I was afraid that the ghosts of the bloody rains would haunt me again in my dreams. But I can't resist the rest that my body was craving. Today was a heck of a day! It was like that all my energy was wasted in this day. I never felt so tired like this before. So exhausted, I slowly drifted myself away from the world of awake to the dimension of asleep…

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After two hours----------------------------

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"I can't breathe!" I thought to myself. I was seeing shadows of people running and screaming in horrifying tone. It was all gray. All that I was seeing was shadows. I saw a child underneath a table hiding away from those shadows. She was wearing a black kimono with little red flowers decorating its sleeves. She was shivering. Her hands were on her ears, covering and protecting her hearing senses to the terrible sound of violence. She had tears flowing in her eyes. Suddenly, the shadows disappeared. All that left was the little girl and I.

She was still crying. I came close to her and wiped her eyes. All of the sudden, her tears turned into crimson liquid. So much shocked, I checked my hands. Her tears left in my hands also turned into blood. I stood up and looked at her. She was now shouting such familiar words.

"I was said to be the strongest. But why can't I protect them? Is this all life is?"

I was so dumbfounded. The girl, her kimono, her eyes, her voice… all along…

… It was I…

It's me. My surroundings suddenly changed into a forest. I turned around to see if someone was there. All I heard was shrieking voices of women, and awful groans of men, even deafening screams of children… being killed. I covered my ears with my hands. I tried to scream but nothing came out of my mouth. Then, the rain fell strongly from the heavens. I slowly looked above me. I saw the moon. It was so bright. But I was horror-struck when the moon slowly turned to red, and the rain…

… Became the rain of blood…

I felt a force choking me. I held my neck and tried to release myself from the tight grip. But it was no use. I was starting to hear criticisms, discriminations, humiliations and accusations. I didn't know which one to hear out. I was starting to scream, but it was useless.

"Wake up, Subaru! Wake up!"

A familiar voice I heard from a far side of the forest. It was the most memorable voice, and also the one I paid attention with. I suddenly ran out away from the forest despite the tight grip holding my neck. The voice was coming closer and closer, then a light passed through out me.

I opened my eyes. It was just dream. But the feeling of fear, horror and despair was quite real. I found myself having difficulty to breathe. But what amazed me was the person I saw the moment I opened my eyes.

His red crimson eyes looking so worried to me. It was Itachi. I suddenly rose up from my bed, but our foreheads bumped.

"Ouch! What was that for, Subaru?" Itachi said while rubbing his forehead.

"Ah… Sorry…" I said while trying to catch my breath.

"You are screaming. What's wrong?"

"A nightmare. The same old nightmare since I was a kid."

"No surprise. That's why you like to sleep during afternoons."

"Yeah…"

He was correct. I'd like to sleep during afternoon rather than night. I was afraid of the same dream to keep on repeating to me every night. It was the most terrifying nightmare I'd ever had. At least, during afternoons I won't be worried of anything dreaming about. But at the night…

… The king of the nightmares came out and haunts me.

"Are you sure you're fine?" Itachi asked.

"I think so."

"It doesn't look like you're fine."

I noticed a very weird sound inside the room, somewhat similar to snoring. I looked around and conclusively…

… It was likely came from Kisame.

"Ah… is that Kisame snoring?"

"Yes. It was he."

I chuckled. I wanted to take away the fear away from me. I always did that when I dreamt of the nightmare. Itachi was looking at me very keenly. He suddenly held the hand covered with bandage.

"You looked pale. Tell me what's wrong."

"It was just a nightmare… no… a dream! It was just a trick of my wild imagination. You don't have to…"

I was interrupted when Itachi placed his index finger in my mouth. I was surprised. The night was deep, and the moonlight was shining at it's utmost light. The moonbeam was reflecting thru the eyes of Itachi. I suddenly remembered the red moon from my nightmare.

"Nightmares. It was you fear. Tell me." Itachi asked with a very affectionate yet bitter tone.

"It was a memory of childhood…" I said. "A memory that I won't escape. It's been there since I was 4. Every night, every time I close my eyes and try to sleep, I always end up dreaming it over and over again. I was like a reminder, but much like a dreadful memoir of my past. I have buried it, but in my dreams, they always appear fresh. I wanted to forget it, yet there's no way I would…"

My tears started to flow out of my eyes. I was looking at his lap. I didn't want to cry again for the same dream again. It was always been this way. I was sick and tired of it. I continued speaking even though I was already sobbing.

"…I'm afraid to close my eyes. I saw myself as a child running away, hiding. I don't want to runaway forever. I just want… to be… comforted… to be… understood. I want to understand everything in me. I wanted to let go of my past, but… it's like my past was still holding me tight."

"I was already strong at the age of 3. I was the strongest among our family. In a very young age, I can easily create fire, manipulate water and control the wind. It was a bloodline limit I inherited from my family…"

"You remind me of the First and Second Hokage. They were good at elemental jutsus." Itachi said while checking the bandage around my wrist.

"I've heard about that. I was born in the Konoha, and during that time, my clan was already discriminated by the citizens and even the higher ups. But, it was nothing to me…"

Itachi suddenly lied down beside me, with his hand intertwined with mine. I looked at him with the terrifying eyes. I was still afraid, and my hands were still shivering.

"My father, who was a Jounin was also discriminated, decided to enroll at the academy. But, the academy decided to reject me. My uncle suggested changing my surname. They've decided that I would be a kunoichi medic."

"Why did they want you to become a medic?" Itachi asked.

"Because… I can heal wounds… with my bare hands…"

Itachi's jaw dropped in surprise. I looked at him and then looked again at the dark side of the room. His grip was growing tighter but warmer.

"How could…" Itachi said.

"It was farfetched, I know. Whenever a death in a family happen, his abilities will be passed down to the youngest…" I replied.

"… And you became the strongest…"

"Yes. I was the youngest. So, all the abilities came from my dead uncles, aunts and cousins was passed down to me. I was been trained to be the strongest, but the most kind of all. But…"

"But?"

"Everything changed when my clan was eradicated. I lost in touch with my abilities. My concentration was been shattered, and my emotions were out of control. When I burst out of anger or fear, my abilities emerge in its utmost level. That's how I killed some of the people inside the mansion, and so as the wolves."

"What happen then?"

"I was adapted by the master in Kyboshing mansion. I became his slave. Since he knew what happen to me, he blackmailed me of giving me up to the authority as the one who killed most of his slaves. So, I decided to do whatever he wanted…"

"Such harsh life."

"I'm used to it. Life never been so good at me."

"Ever thought of having vengeance?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I'm afraid."

My hands started to shiver really hard. Itachi held both of my hands firmer. I was sobbing. I can't stop the chills, or the tears in my eyes. I was afraid that I might hurt Itachi accidentally.

"How can I help?" He asked indifferently.

"I don't… know…" I replied.

"Can you sleep now?"

"No. After that nightmare, I'll be staying awake up to dawn."

"Uhm… tough. You should get rest. I know how hard is this day been to you."

"There's… nothing… you can… do…" I said between my sobs.

Itachi came closer to me. I looked at him passionately, and so as him. He suddenly locked up his lips to mine. It was warm, but now… it was sincere. His hands were on my waist, but it was starting to crawl at my back. (Take note: He was sitting in front of me. My legs were between his legs.) I responded his kiss with a warm and longing one. I felt I was protected and at the same time, secured. I felt a comfort around his arms. He parted his lips to let me breathe, and then he interlocked it again. I let his tongue entered my mouth. I was surrendering myself to this kiss… the hunger of comfort and affection for a long time. Ironically, I found it in the person who could be my enemy…

… And could be my friend…

His tongue was playing with mine. I can feel his heartbeat. It was normal. He was warm, and he was kissing a half-dead lady, a lady who was about to bury in the graveyard of her past. I placed my arms around his shoulders. His kiss was going deep, and more passionate. He was adding fondness and ease to everything that he was doing now. Slowly, we parted each other's lips. With fulfillment in his eyes and assurance glittering in mine, he touched the edges of my lips. There were no words to describe what I was feeling. I felt complete for the first time. I felt a shoulder to lean on, and someone to trust my life with. We gently lie down to the bed, with my head in his chest. He embraced me as the night goes deeper. I slowly closed my eyes and heard him whisper.

"You'll be safe. I'm here. You can sleep now. Goodnight."

I nodded. As I heard the throbbing of his heart, the warmth of his body filled the emptiness of my soul.

I hope this last…

Forever…

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_A/N: Whoa! Ten pages! Longest… I did it! I hope you like this chapter. I found it a bit mushy, but still bit harsh. Subaru's feelings are extreme. Can Itachi handle it? So as the Iyasu-Itachi competition... Did Itachi get jealous? Survey! Hehe! I'm out of here! Please leave a review! Have a nice day!_


	8. Journal Entry 8

_Disclaimer: Naruto is not my property, any of Naruto's characters either (except of the others…). What ingenuity does Kishimoto possess! Wooohhooo!

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**JOURNAL ENTRY 8: SHE'S A SCHIZOPHRENIC; HE WANTS FREEDOM TO DO THINGS

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I woke up thirty minutes after seven. I was still lying at the same bed I was in. I was surprised to see Itachi beside me, with his hands entwined in my body. What had just happen?

I scratched my head. I tried to get out of the somewhat jigsaw puzzle when I heard a yawn coming near the door. It was Kisame. He saw me trying to untwine myself from Itachi's arms. I just smile faintly.

"What the hell happen? Don't tell me you…" Kisame asked in great curiosity and surprise.

"Dimwit! That's not what you mean!"

"Then… why… you… and Itachi…"

Kisame was stuttering and he was making gestures. I interpreted that he thought something happened to us last night. It made me annoyed. I would let anyone touch me or make love to me just that easy! I was not that type of girl!

"Cut it off, Kisame! It's not what you think!" I shouted.

"Then, what is it?"

"I actually… don't remember…"

"It must be it! You must have made love with Itachi last night!" Kisame exclaimed with a triumphant smile.

"It's not what you think, Kisame." A voice beside me said.

Itachi slowly released me from his embrace. He smiled to me faintly, as if he was greeting me a good morning. What's good in the morning if I can't remember anything that happens last night? I felt I was been so far away. Nothing from the memory of yesterday I can still recall. What's going on with me?

"Then tell me, Itachi. What happened?" Kisame asked with his naughty grin.

"She's just afraid. So, I decided to sleep beside her. That's all."

I was afraid last night? Afraid of what? I can't clearly remember what happen. All I remember was a red moon and the long and passionate kiss. Did I say a passionate kiss? I looked at Itachi's direction in bewilderment and confusion. He just gave a signal to Kisame to get out of the room.

Kisame immediately got out of the room. I scratched my head. I suddenly held Itachi's sleeves and tugged them.

"Tell me, what happen?" I asked.

"Mild Schizophrenia. That's what you got." He answered.

"Huh?"

"You tend to forget things that might hurt you after. You make up a personality that can automatically forget and erase memories of happiness. That's why you're confused. You're afraid to get hurt. Emotional trauma has taken you."

"Did you take up psychiatry?"

"No. Tell me. There were instances that you don't remember the words or things you do?"

"Yes."

"Then, my judgment is right. You have a mild schizophrenia."

I felt a pain in my head. I slowly rubbed circularly my temples, All of a sudden; Itachi held my both hands and said.

"Don't forget this. I'm here to protect you. That's what the kiss signifies for."

"So, what I remember last night was true?"

"Yes. You thought it was a dream right?"

"Sort of." I said while scratching my head. I was still in wonderment.

"Then, don't forget last night."

He stood up from the bed and gently kissed my forehead. He reached for the doorknob and told me.

"There's nothing else I would like to protect except you."

He opened and gently closed the door.

* * *

…**After three hours…

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**

"…There's nothing else I would like to protect…"

"… Except you…"

His words were still stuck in my head. I was watching Keiko outside the headquarters doing her training. She told me that even she's already a member of Akatsuki; she still needed her training. She wanted to be the strongest and best lady ninja in this organization. Just like Itachi…

"Hey! What are you thinking? It must be very deep!" Keiko suddenly shouted at my ears.

"Why did you shout at my ears? What is that for, Keiko?" I replied.

"What for? Waking up from your nice little daydreaming session."

"Huh?"

Keiko sat beside me. She looked at me with curiosity and wonder. I looked at her and blinked.

"You know what… you're indeed lucky." She said, with her fingers playing with her brunette hair.

"Lucky about what?" I asked.

"Itachi…"

"I don't get it."

"Lady ninjas here want him so much. Everyone here wants to become his partner or even just an allied. You're just so lucky…" She sighed.

"Ah… I think I heard that from him before…"

I noticed I was starting to remember everything that happened yesterday. He told me that lady ninjas in Akatsuki were dying to be with him. Yeah… we teased each other seducing words. Actually, it's just him. It was starting to get clear. Maybe Itachi was right. I had a mild schizophrenia after all.

Maybe. I didn't know. I just started to figure out everything when he told me what was his judgment. If I remember correctly, it was all started when I was 6. I started to make up another personality to take up the reality and leaving the real me locked up in the cell. So, if my real self emerged… it's all been the happiest or either something memorable happen. But since, I already etched to my mind that no happy moments to last for me… it was the other side of myself taking over and erasing all those moments…

… To prevent getting hurt…

… To avoid lies…

… To stop my heart from breaking pieces…

And when it happens, I tend to forget everything that took place. There were memory lapses… memories broken or a missing piece. Maybe that's why I was getting confused, and believed the collection of lies I laid to myself as…

… My own set of truths…

"Then, he knows!" Keiko screeched.

"Why did you screech like that?" I asked.

Keiko's cheeks suddenly glowed in red. She prevented my eyes to avoid seeing her expressions. I already knew what was with that blushing of cheeks. I suddenly pinched her arm and whispered to her ears.

"You have a big crush with Itachi, right?"

"How… did… you…" She answered.

"Ah… let's just say it's a girl instinct."

"Yeah… I know what you mean."

"I don't think Itachi know already that you have a big crush on him."

"You think so?"

"Well, if you're not a show-off girl…"

"Of course not!"

"Then, he doesn't know it."

"Why doesn't he know it?"

"Itachi can read gestures. I noticed that to him last night. So, if you're not showing off much of yourself at him, he wouldn't notice you having a crush on him."

"Th-en…"

"Well… he doesn't like show-off girls."

"I… ss-ee…"

I noticed Keiko's eyes. They were shimmering beneath the morning sun. Her hair almost covering her face made her more beautiful. She looked like an innocent lady. But she was a sheep beneath the wolf's skin. She was dangerous. She was like other pretty girls around who deserve such prestige and good destiny. Though she was an assassin, there's still remains a heart of a girl who was looking for her soul mate. Maybe, ladies were meant that way.

"I promise not to tell him." I said.

"You won't?" she answered.

"Of course, I won't."

"Promise?"

"It is a promise."

Keiko handed me a silver shuriken. It was shining. She smiled in bliss and contentment. Then she placed it in my hand and closed my fist.

"A sign of your promise. Keep it. You can use that as a protection."

"Thanks." I said indifferently.

But deep inside my heart, I was happy. I felt I found a friend in Keiko's personality. I felt so delighted, but I was so much afraid to trust this emotions. I tried to become what I really I was, but it seems so hard. I wanted to be myself, but there's a cloud of doubt living in me. I wanted to take it away, but seems I can't live my life without it.

I slipped the shuriken in my pocket. A figure suddenly came up to my back and greeted with such sweet and sincere voice.

"An angel out of the garden. Such beautiful thing to see."

I turned my head around and recognized the golden eyes. It was Iyasu, and so as the muscular man. He smiled sweetly and I responded it with a wicked smirk.

"Hey! Angel… how's your sleep?" asked the muscular man.

"And, since when did you call Subaru an angel?" Keiko asked.

"Since I saw her with Itachi and Kisame!" the muscular man said.

"You really like pretty girls, aren't you… Koji?"

"Of course! There's no reason not to like them, especially this attractive little angel!"

"I think I want to throw up…" Keiko sighed.

"Where's your guardian, Subaru?" Iyasu asked me sincerely.

"I don't know. He just entrusted me to Keiko." I replied

"He should not leave you alone, especially with this freak."

Keiko suddenly stood up from the bench and pulled out a kunai from her holster. She pointed it to Iyasu.

"Who's your calling freak, bigheaded?" Keiko said.

"I never leave her." A familiar voice came from the other side of the forest.

Itachi and Kisame came out of the trees. They were not wearing their capes. He was just wearing his normal ninja outfit and so as Kisame. They walked to our direction.

"But Subaru told me you entrusted her to Keiko?" Iyasu said.

Iyasu walked to Itachi's direction. It was almost 1 meter away from each other. Both of them suddenly stopped. Kisame came to me and whispered.

"The flame is getting better, Subaru. You're combustible."

"What the hell are you talking about, shark-face?" I answered.

There were looking the same as last night. Itachi's cynical look and Iyasu's resentful smile, but now it was more dangerous than before. Their facial expressions to one another were sending curses and threats to each other. They maybe were exchanging foul words to discourage each other. I didn't like it. I felt I was surrounded by war. I stepped back two steps at the back of Keiko.

"What's wrong?" Keiko asked.

"Nothing." I told here apathetically.

Iyasu sighed. He was about to burst into laughter. He was like mocking Itachi in his laugh.

"Coward. If you weren't, you already killed me." He said.

"If we were not inside this headquarters, I can easily do killed you." Itachi replied.

After that short but harsh conversation, Itachi approached me and checked my wrist. His eyes were glittering in deep and incomprehensible concern. Iyasu saw my injured wrist. He suddenly rushed off to my front, sweeping away Itachi away from him.

"How could such angel have this injury?" Iyasu asked.

"Back off, Iyasu." Itachi warned.

"You have almost killed her."

"It was an accident."

"Accident? Liar, you really want to hurt you didn't you? Your lust to kill has already invaded you."

"You don't anything, Iyasu. So, better go away from her or else…"

"What? You're going to kill me?"

"I should before."

"But, you know technically that we can't kill an Akatsuki member unless he retires."

"I don't' care."

Iyasu was trying to shorten Itachi's patience, and so as his control. If Itachi wouldn't hold on himself, he can kill Iyasu in just a blink of an eye. But, instead of picking up a kunai and slash Iyasu's throat he approached me and told me.

"I'm sorry to leave you here."

"Sorry for what? You don't have to apologize for something." I said.

"Just accept it."

"Ok-ay… Fine… I do…"

Itachi faced Iyasu's face. He was already raging in anger, but trying hard to control himself to punch or used any jutsu to him. Then, he told him.

"If I saw again touching her out of my sight, I will really going to kill you."

"If you can, Itachi… if you can…"

Iyasu and Koji (his muscular assistant) went away and entered the headquarters building. I was left with Itachi, Kisame and Keiko. Keiko as usual hid her emotions for Itachi and left behind her vulnerable side. I was shocked when Itachi held Keiko's wrist and scolded her.

"I told you to watch her closely! If you did your job that well, Iyasu will never get close to her! You're really weak, Keiko!"

"I- was tra-ining… so…"

I suddenly spoke out to defend Keiko. He didn't have to blame Keiko if Iyasu talked to me. I was so much pissed off very much I slapped Itachi's face.

"You dumb! Why blame Keiko? It was Iyasu who talked to me first. And, in the first place, Keiko didn't know anything. If you told her not to let me talk to Iyasu, then this thing wouldn't happen! Where has your brain gone, Itachi? In your stomach?"

Keiko and Kisame were so shocked. They were so much dumbfounded in what I just did. Itachi's eyes widened. I caught him off guard. My eyes narrowed and I was in fury. It wasn't really right to scold somebody that didn't know anything. He was really stupid! That idiot assassin!

"I was just only protecting you, that's all." He spoke.

I was shock. I suddenly felt ashamed on what I just did to him. But, after all I just defended Keiko from a mistake she didn't made. Itachi bowed down his head. He suddenly signaled Kisame and Keiko to go inside the headquarters. After the two ninjas went inside, he embraced me like he was cuddling his loved one.

"Just let me do the things that I want to do long time ago. Just give me the freedom, just once…" He whispered.

I was frozen at that moment. I now understood what he meant. Maybe, he was just making up for all the things that he regrets doing in the past. And, through me, he can repay those mistakes. But I still didn't get the reasons clearly. And…

… What's with his past that bugging him too much?

… That motivates him to protect me?

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_A/N: Ahh… chapter 8 finished! Hope you like it. Sorry for not updating immediately. I was busy attending make-up classes and also doing assignment for my Health Ethics these past few weeks. Please also read "Holding Unto the Key". It is a one-shot fanfic. Please review and thank you for reading it! I'm outta here! Have a nice day!_


	9. Journal Entry 9

_Disclaimer: The characters of Naruto are not mine. Duh…_

_A/N: This chapter is after Subaru's month stay in headquarters. I'd like to inform so you wouldn't be confused. Enjoy!

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**JOURNAL ENTRY 9: UNCERTAINTIES

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"One… two… three…"

I was counting the stitches I was plotting at the cross-stitch cloth. Itachi gave the materials I needed. He even knew that I love handicrafts so he decided to buy me one. And, here it was… I was doing it for my pastime.

It was really ridiculous. I was actually stitching a very nice picture in the cross-stitch cloth. It was a traditional Japanese house surrounded by a very large and beautiful garden. Too weird that he chose this. He even told me to finish it by week, because I'll be coming with him in a mission to Konoha.

Konoha… the land of where Ichikawa have long forgotten and despised. I was really not sure if I want to come with him. Fear was the one holding me back. I didn't want to be discriminated again and called me witch. I even didn't know how would I tell Itachi that I'm not yet prepared to go. But, I have no choice. I was obliged to be with him. He already told me that, and I have no complains about that. I have to always remember that I'm an Akatsuki property now. Anytime I complain or react, death will be the payment for that.

I looked outside the window and saw Itachi throwing shurikens at a tree. It was actually fast so I didn't clearly see it if he really threw it. It's like he was just flicking a coin, and stuck in a tree. It was really easy for him. He suddenly looked up in our room's window. I smiled.

So, I proceeded to finish my work. I wanted to finish the half of the whole picture, though it seemed so impossible. I felt a pain in my neck. Also, my eyes were aching in counting and staring at the small dots and boxes. I felt I'd be going dizzy. I decided to lie down in the bed and take a rest.

I was lying in the bed, with my eyes staring at the ceiling. I suddenly remembered what Itachi told me last month. I also wondered if Keiko was doing fine after what Itachi said to her. Keiko finally confessed her feelings to Itachi, but just like what I'm expecting. Itachi turned her down and crushed her heart, even told her that she was a weak ninja and never will be strong. He was really insensitive! I also wondered where Kisame is. I thought he'd never be apart with Itachi. But, Itachi was there all alone, in the garden out side the headquarters. No one was with him and nobody bothering him.

I stood up from the bed and decided to look outside the window again. No sign of Itachi. I wondered where he is. He told me he'll be just there to train and wait for a mission. When, I heard a knock from the door. I slowly opened it and saw Itachi.

"I thought you're training outside." I asked.

"Finished." He answered.

We were always like this. I just realized that I was living and staying at the same room with Itachi for a month. One month of staying here was like eternity. I was getting sick and tired of the room, so every now and then; Itachi always took me around inside and outside the headquarters. We always went outside every morning and take a stroll around the forest, though I told him I was tired of this place.

I handed Itachi a towel for him to dry his sweat. I sat next to him at the bed and checked his wounds. Just last week, Itachi was assigned by Makoto to spy on Konoha's ANBU headquarters. Unfortunately, he was caught and got into a fight. He told me that since I was kidnapped, the security around Konoha grew tighter. The ANBUS too were stronger than before. Since that day, Makoto requested me to be his sheath and his geisha. Every Akatsuki member who was high-ranked was being given a girl as his personal colleague, somewhat like geisha. Just yesterday, Kisame was given a geisha, and her name was Yuri. She was beautiful, but she was used of entertaining a guy already. And, Kisame started to like the way she was, taking the extra time to pamper his geisha and also to enjoy it. Good thing that shark-face had already changed his hobby from insulting me to indulging a girl.

Also, Itachi was already started training me. We did trainings every afternoon. He taught me the basics and he also trying to cope up with my bloodline. He always told me to control my emotions to balanced it.

"How's your day?" He asked impersonally.

"Fine. Nothing unusual." I answered. I was still healing his wounds.

"I'll be taking you to the park today."

"Park?"

"It's outside the forest. Inside Konoha."

"How will we enter there?"

"Easy."

"You're dipping yourself into trouble again, Itachi."

"I have my healer, so why be bother?" He said uninterestedly.

"Shut up!"

He sneered. I was now also honing my healing skills. He taught me how to use genjutsu to cooperate with my bloodline. He stood up and gave me a box.

"What's this?"

"It's a gift."

"A gift?"

"Just take it. I bought it for you while spying at Konoha."

"Thanks."

I slowly untied the silver ribbon and opened the blue box. There was a beautiful pair of red ribbons. He knew that I'd have been complaining about my black ribbon that Kisame cut off when I was teasing his geisha. I held it in my palms and looked at him. I smiled sincerely.

"I'll just take a bath. You prepare yourself. Will be out here for a few minutes." He said.

I nodded. Before he went inside the bathroom, he kissed my forehead and told me.

"I want you to wear that black skirt I bought for you."

"The one with the kimono-styled top?"

"Yes."

"Fine."

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We were walking inside the forest finding our way out of it and go to the park of Konoha. I was actually nervous. He was Itachi, and I know that people they will be panicking if they saw him. Oh well! Maybe I just have to face consequences.

Before we went outside the house, he handed me a forehead protector. He told me I'd need it for now and for next few days since I'll be with him during his missions. It was the sign of Konoha, with a line slashed in the middle. Of course, the ring of Akatsuki, except that mine was black… color for them that signify property.

He was actually gorgeous. He was wearing his black ninja outfit, with his katana attached at his back. He told me it was for protection. I was wearing the clothes that he bought for me past few weeks ago. It was a kimono-styled white top that reveals my shoulder and a short black skirt. He even gave me a fishnet shirt for it. It was actually beautiful. I didn't know that he was good at picking girl's clothes.

We were both quiet. I suddenly broke the silence when I saw a large wooden gate at the near end of the forest.

"Hey! Is that the way to Konoha already?"

"Yes."

"So, how will we enter there?"

"Just keep your mouth shut."

There was a ninja guarding the gate. Maybe he was a Jounin. Itachi told me that elite ninjas were called Jounin and were assigned in different kind of task. The ninja suddenly asked us.

"Where are you going? And who… it's…"

But the man fell asleep while Itachi was looking at him. I was surprised that the man fell down asleep! I was curious and asked him how.

"How did you do that?"

"None of your business."

"Humph!"

I was amazed on what he just did to that ninja. I knew that it was his bloodline, the Sharingan. He told me that only a person from Uchiha clan could possess it. I was still looking at the ninja. I was still thinking how did he make the person sleep with just looking at it.

"Subaru, hurry up." He commanded.

I was about to run to him. But there's someone whispering in my mind. I think it was my conscience. I decided to look at Itachi, and yelled at him.

"I'll just check if he's fine."

I leaned down to the ninja. I placed my two fingers in his neck to check his pulse. He was still breathing, and still alive. I was at ease. I breathed deeply and stood up. I thought to myself to say sorry to this ninja if I ever see him again. I looked at Itachi and smiled.

"Hurry up, Subaru. We have to get back to the headquarters before dark."

"Yes!" I ran to Itachi and caught his hand. I looked at him in a childish sight. Then I giggled.

"What?" He asked reluctantly.

"Nothing. I was just… impressed!"

We were walking at the streets of Konoha. I was speechless. Konoha was not a bad place after all. It was much alive than I expected. I saw children running around freely and people, happy and contented after all. It was different from the Konoha that my mind was making up.

Also, my mild schizophrenia was already fading out. Being the best and in command, Itachi asked one of his allied Takiko, to assist me and much as possible cure my schizophrenia. And now, the nightmares I have usually at my sleep were rarely occurring. Thanks to Takiko, and so as with Itachi.

As usual, Konoha was known because of its strict and strong military forces. Itachi spoke to me about every ninja that we saw in every corner of the street. He was lecturing me about the Konoha's military forces. The kind of ninjas that Konoha possessed and the stuff like that.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

"You'll be needing that. Remember, I'll be bringing you to my next mission."

"Oh I see…"

I suddenly remember the doubt that circling my heart whenever I heard that him telling me about that, and how uncomfortable I was in this place. Konoha was nice, but there's still doubt and hate that's left in me about this place. Those feelings can't be erased anymore. It was already part of me… piece of my life… and element of my soul. It was like my foundation why I am still living and kicking alive.

"Do you like here?" He asked uncaringly.

"Kind of. Honestly, I never thought that Konoha is this beautiful. The mood is so peaceful… yet, it can't change the fact that it is the place where my family died and were killed… this village who showed prejudice at them…" I answered sadly.

"That's the academy. Its where the children train to be a ninja." He pointed me a four-story building. We even saw children playing at its playground.

"You studied there before right?" I asked.

"Before you become a Chuunin, you should be a Genin. And Genins are trained there."

I knew he would answer me that way. Whenever I ask questions about him and his past life, he would answer it objectively. But the real answer was underneath the sentences. You just have to read between his lines.

We continued to walk until we reached a bridge. It was an arched bridge made out of blocks. Trees surrounded it and the water was clear. I looked down to see the water. I saw my own reflection. I saw myself smiling at myself. How funny. I never thought to see myself this way.

"This is called the Konoha Bridge. The park is just over the end." He said.

So, we continued to walk and reached the park. Well, it was pleasing to the sight. There were children playing around, and ninjas training. Actually, the ninjas I saw were younger than 14. I asked Itachi.

"Is there any age requirement to be a ninja?" I asked curiously.

"You supposed to be 4 years old to become a Genin and enter the academy. After that, you can be at any age to become whatever rank you wanted." He responded apathetically.

We reached the fountain area and sat at the bench. He bought me a cotton candy and sat there reading a book. He was been reading that book since I finished reading it. Maybe he was trying to figure out why I love that book. Oh well, Itachi just wanted to understand things. I looked at the fountain area and saw my reflection.

I was different now. My perception about life changed. I now live for myself and no one else. But there were still things that haven't change… my perception, my doubts, my sadness and my inevitable doubt and pain in my heart. My soul was still suffering but now, it was actually slumbering the pillow of doubt. And my heart, throbbing once more… only for its survival. My past, even though I couldn't still accept it… still haunting and screaming my name.

I was surprised to saw Itachi's reflection in the water. I looked up to him and surprised his eyes were glinting in some much anxiety.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Are you sure you want to go to the mission?"

"Ah… you said you want me to go. So, I'll go. After all I'm your geisha and your sheath. I have no control with it."

"Yes. You are."

"You're strange. Something bothering you?"

"I've… just doubting this mission…"

He was doubting this mission? This was a lifetime record! It was the first time that Itachi doubted something that Akatsuki had given him. He never doubted nor questioned any mission before. This was just the first time.

"Doubting? Why?"

"I just smell something fishy about it."

"Fine."

Suddenly, I felt a presence of somebody around us. I looked up to Itachi and he nodded. He knew that he felt that same way too. He picked up his katana out of its case.

"In case this are ANBUS, you got to prepare yourself. We'll be in a fight for sure."

"Fine."

"I'll see here if you really learn something from our training, Subaru. You got to prove to me that you're my geisha."

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_A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry for the late update! I got so many work to do, so I've got no time to update this one. Expect that for now. I'll be much busy now that I'll be having a lot of things to do. I hope you like this chapter! Also, thanks to those people who reviewed my previous chapter, and also my one-shot fic. If you haven't read it, try it. Hehe! Please leave a review! Have a nice day, guys!_


	10. Journal Entry 10

_Disclaimer: Kishimoto owns Naruto… Much better!_

_A/N: Thanks for those who reviewed my past chapters. This chapter is another opening in Subaru's life. Anyways, I'm already planning another fan fiction after I finish this. Any suggestion? Send it to my e-mail address to be seen in my profile. Enjoy reading!

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**JOURNAL ENTRY 10: SEPARATION

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And so, it'll be my first time to fight with my bloodline abilities on their full-blasted capabilities…

Itachi was on his calm stance. His katana carefully positioned on his side. Anytime someone attacks us, then it'll be his end. Itachi was good in handling and using katana as a weapon. He taught me, actually. But he never wanted me to use it. And, I still can't find the reason why.

I was nervous. I was terribly nervous because it'll be the first time after twelve years to use my bloodline limit again. The last time I used it was during my sparring practice with my sister, Natsuki.

Someone was really hustling and moving behind the bushes. It was not usual to Itachi to inspect who it was. It was better that it was the person himself to face him.

All of a sudden, there was a boy appeared out of the bushes. He had a jet-black hair, wearing a black ninja suit. I was surprised what I just realized…

… He looks like Itachi!

His eyes were blazing in anger and fury. His fist was clenched and ready for any attack that he'll perform. The same hate and fury I saw in myself. Except that his feelings were fresh and predictable. His emotions were fiery, and can burn him out easily.

"So, it is my foolish little brother…" Itachi muttered.

"What?" I said.

"It is my brother, Subaru. Let me introduce you to him." Itachi sarcastically suggested.

So, I saw his brother for the very first time. He told me that he had a brother, the one who he let survived from the Uchiha massacre. He told him that he didn't want to kill a weakling so he let his brother survived. Many times he almost killed his brother, but every now and then, there were people surrounding him. Thus, his brother had a lot of help in his hand.

"Uchiha Itachi… So, Sakura is right." The boy said.

"So, your female friend saw us, right?" Itachi said.

"I followed the direction where Sakura saw you, and here you are. Together with a girl whom is another victim of yours."

"Such strong words coming out of your mouth, Sasuke. Watch out." Itachi sneered.

I was just looking at them, trying to infer the feelings and possible things that might happen after and during their "nice" conversation. Itachi showed again his cynical behavior, the one that he shows to Iyasu every time they meet. And, his brother, hate was the one enveloping its aura. His voice was full of hatred and anger. He really detested his brother. How fresh were the wounds that his brother was manifesting, the wounds of the heart.

"Anyway, Subaru. Have you seen my Mangekyou Sharingan?" Itachi asked.

"No, but Kisame told me how many times you've used that to your brother." I replied.

"Then I'll let you see it, and please…" Itachi held my hand and whispered into my ears.

"Protect yourself and I protect you."

He placed his katana on the case. I knew that both of them would be using Ninjutsu. But, Sasuke was the one who performed seals and released his ability.

"Katon Housenka no Jutsu!" Sasuke shouted.

A big flame of fire was released by Sasuke's mouth. I knew that there'd be no place to go away from this. I thought of making a water wall and shifted my force to the water in the fountain. I instantly manipulated it, and a transparent wall of water appeared in front of Itachi.

"What the…" Sasuke exclaimed. The boy paced one step backward.

"Why did you do that?" Itachi asked.

"To protect myself. You can't blame me if I created a large wall. I can do that even in widest range."

Itachi smiled. He faced Sasuke and sneered. There was pride in his eyes. I felt bit proud of myself of creating a perfect ability out of my bloodline. It was not bad after all, I thought.

"You learned after all." Itachi said.

Sasuke's eyes were still in wonderment. He was surprised on what he just saw. I knew that he never saw me doing any seals to perform such thing.

"Sasuke, if you ever wonder who she is. She's the girl Akatsuki kidnapped month ago." Itachi introduced me.

"Can't be… She's still alive?" Sasuke exclaimed.

"Why do you want me dead?" I protested. I wanted to strike his head because his statement made me annoyed.

"Of course, she is. She became Akatsuki's property after kidnapping her. After that, she became my student, and my geisha. And that's what the organization wants to." Itachi explained.

"Uchiha Itachi." An unfamiliar voice came to our back. I slowly turned my head to see where the voice came from.

A guy wearing a bulky green jacket was standing at our back. He had this tall spiky gray hair. His forehead protector was angularly covering his left eye and his mouth and nose covered by a blue cloth that extends to his turtleneck suit. With him, a pink-haired kunoichi with gentle green eyes and a blonde haired boy in an orange jumpsuit. Jumpsuit! I giggled silently.

"Sasuke! You coldhearted freak! Why did you just suddenly disappear?" The blonde haired boy yelled.

His voice was familiar to my ears. The loud and hyperactive voice that suddenly landed in my eardrums. It was he, the one who loudly declared heroic words to save me when I was kidnapped one month ago.

Itachi slowly turned his eyes on the guy. He even smiled when he recognized the blond haired shinobi. He slowly placed his hand on my shoulder. I knew he'd be telling me again stories and facts about this guy in front of me. I wanted to speak and ask questions but he placed his index finger to my lips.

"No need to tell that to me, Subaru. His name is Hatake Kakashi." Itachi said.

I slowly brushed off Itachi's hand off my shoulder. I faced him and told him straightly.

"Which of them, Itachi. There are two man standing there, and any of them could be Hatake Kakashi." I explained. My hands on my waist and I smiled sarcastically.

There was sweat drops appeared in the pink-haired kunoichi's head. She let go a little laugh.

"Since when did Kakashi-sensei become Naruto?" She explained.

Sensei. Now, that made sense to me. The tall guy must be Hatake Kakashi, and that loudmouthed shinobi was Naruto. I suddenly realized that what I asked to Itachi was so ridiculous and totally silly.

"A long acquaintance, Itachi?" I asked.

"Not really, Subaru. He's Sasuke's sensei. You can handle him while I manage my brother from harming and questioning you. I almost forgot…" Itachi turned to Sasuke and said.

"If ever another ninja came here, you can escape…"

"What?" I said. I suddenly felt a rush of wind coming to me. It was the pink-haired kunoichi. She ran fast to me to cover Kakashi's movement to stop Itachi from attacking Sasuke. She was about to strike with her kunai, but I was already familiar with that movement. I closed my eyes and swiftly swayed my hands to the air, creating an invisible staff that pushed her away. She landed hardly on the trees' trunk. It made a big impact on her so, she lied down unconscious.

"Sakura!" Sasuke and Naruto shouted in unison.

"You already released her bloodline." Kakashi said. His eyes were now burning in anger.

"Its for her own sake." Itachi replied.

I was now facing the blonde haired shinobi. He had bright blue eyes. His eyes were burning in extreme anxiety for the pink haired kunoichi. His childish image suddenly disappeared. Now, it was his warrior side I was seeing.

"I'm sorry to do that to your friend. I'm just… protecting myself…" I said to him.

"You… are… apologizing?" the blond haired shinobi asked. His blue eyes widened in surprise.

"Yeah. I am. If ever you attacked me, then I'll just protect myself. After all, you are a stranger."

"Hehe! You're right." He laughed. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto, and I'll be the future Hokage of Konoha!"

I ran to the pink haired kunoichi and checked if she's fine. My capability to control and manipulate the wind was not in perfect state. Also, water and earth were really my specialty, and Itachi knew that. I faced Naruto after checking the girl's condition.

"She's fine, Naruto. She just fell unconscious because of the impact." I told him.

"Thanks." Naruto said shyly.

"Stay with them, Subaru." Itachi commanded.

Itachi was now facing Kakashi. Their eyes were now burning in such unexplainable sensation. Kakashi's right eye was the only visible in my sight. His left eye was covered, and I didn't know exactly what was his eyes showing.

"Neh, Naruto… What's behind Kakashi's left eye?" I asked.

"Sharingan. Kakashi-sensei has Sharingan in his left eye." Naruto replied sincerely.

"Sharingan? But I thought only Uchiha clan possesses such bloodline?"

"That's what I thought too. But Kakashi-sensei's Sharingan was only an operation."

"I see. So, what is her name?" I pointed to the pink haired kunoichi.

"Ah! Haruno Sakura!"

I suddenly heard movements from the trees. I looked up and saw masked ninjas above me. I recognized them. It was the ANBUS!

"Itachi, ANBUS are here." I yelled to Itachi

"That's good. Now I can leave." Itachi replied.

"What?"

Itachi brushed away Kakashi from his way and approached me. Naruto shielded himself in front of me but I also brushed him away. I meant him in the middle.

"I just need to do this." Itachi explained.

"And, the heck reason why?" I asked.

"To protect you."

"From what now?"

"Makoto… and Iyasu…" His eyes were dazzling in sweet concern and anxiety. For the very first time, Itachi was sincere. He was honest in what he was saying. I scratched my head because of the confusion and curiosity that was surrounding my head.

"And how will you explain it?" I asked.

"Leave it to me." He answered.

"I can't understand!"

"You'll soon. Just let me do the things that I haven't done before." He looked Sasuke with immediate authority just like a brother.

"Please protect her. She's important…" He told his brother.

"We will." Kakashi replied.

I was surprised that Kakashi replied Itachi's request. For the very last time he kissed my forehead and whispered into my ears…

"Thank you for letting me do the things I haven't done before." Then he jumped up to the trees and escape.

"Oh! Itachi! Thank you very much for your nice explanation!" I yelled. I followed him until his presence disappeared in the midst of the trees. I sighed.

"So, where are you going on?" Naruto asked.

"I don't know. I don't have anyone here in Konoha." I answered.

I was left discombobulated by the things happened this day. But one lesson I learned from him today.

I let him do the things he wanted to do for so long. I looked at his brother and realized he wanted to protect his brother and he regretted the things he has done in the past. He didn't have any freedom then. Being a ninja was not the happiest thing he had done. He just wanted someone to understand and protect him, and maybe he saw that to me. It may sound silly, but Itachi became bit emotional this time. I now understood why he asked me if I'm sure of going with him in his mission. Maybe, Iyasu was instrument of Makoto in manipulating me and join Akatsuki. He knew that I'm hardheaded and persistent. I always stand in what I know is right. I really didn't know. Itachi's intentions were still fuzzy as expected.

And here I am… with his brother. An exact replica of his icy heart personality, but there was a tender side that I saw in Sasuke. I felt someone just tugged my sleeves. It was Sasuke.

"My brother's girlfriend?" He asked.

"What? I'm not his girlfriend." I answered. But my cheeks were blushing in red.

"Then, why are you blushing?" Naruto teased.

"Cut it off!" I replied.

"We'll take you first to the Hokage and inform her you are here." Kakashi approached me. He was smiling.

"I'm really sorry about what happen to her."

"It's fine." He answered sincerely.

I have another people added in my life, Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke and Hatake Kakashi. I wondered what's next. I wondered what happened to Itachi. I really don't know. All I know was…

I miss Itachi.

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_A/N: So, this is chapter 10. I hope you like it. This one is too much simple but one question will pop up to your minds. Why did Itachi leave Subaru to Kakashi? What are Itachi's reasons? Well, it'll be answer by another chapters. In the meanwhile, I'll be taking a catnap before I review for my exams tomorrow. I'm out of here. Please leave a review after reading this. Take care and have a nice day!_


	11. Journal Entry 11

_Disclaimer: Kishimoto possess Naruto… and even my Itachi and Kakashi… Huhuh! But I own them both in my heart! Sweet!_

_A/N: I've been receiving reviews that are asking questions, and I'm gladly will answer those answers that confuses your minds. (Though that's really my plan. I really had a wicked mind!) Subaru's age is 17 and Itachi is 19. Here in my little fiction, Kakashi is two years older than the manga, so as Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke. (I think they are 15. Please correct me if I'm wrong.) What else? Yeah! Sasuke's feelings towards Itachi! Well, that's for you, guys to find out! Have fun and enjoy reading!

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**JOURNAL ENTRY 11: SASUKE MISJUDGED ME AND GOT PUNCHED BY NARUTO

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After that incident, we brought Sakura to the nearest hospital and confined her there for one day. Since it was getting dark already, we have to move fast to reach Kakashi's plan for today. We left Sakura there, though I was having a doubt of leaving her there. After all, it was my fault why she was brought there. But, I have no choice. I have to protect myself.

Kakashi and two of his students took me to a splendid building which Naruto called it, "The Sucker's Lair". Funny though, since she looked like a sincere and naïve lady, but Naruto told me that she's already on her 50's. I wanted to ask here while we were there, but that's too private. So I just tried to shut my mouth and stopped all my reactions on what they were discussing.

While we were there, Tsunade (the Hokage's name) told me what Akatsuki's real intention was, and both of her and Itachi said the same things. She even asked me if I already did anything for Akatsuki, and I told her no. I asked Makoto for two months to think about his offer, so I never done anything for Akatsuki. That was an assurance.

I liked Tsunade, for reasons I can't explain. Naruto told me that Tsunade was fond of gambling and spending her money unwisely. I laughed when he was telling me his mission to find her together with Jiraiya, his sensei. That thing made me confused.

"Wait, do you mean you have two teachers?" I asked.

"Exactly!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Would that be possible?"

"Yes! It is the teacher's decision anyway, and so as the student."

I looked at Kakashi. He was relaxed and very much comfortable. I found him arrogant though. But still, what mystifies my mind was his mask. Since I saw him this afternoon, my mind always asks me what was behind his mask. And, why does he have to hide his Sharingan beneath his forehead protector? He was totally mysterious, but he was kind.

"So, where will she going to stay tonight? Tsunade-sama told us that we have to take good care of her." Naruto asked Kakashi.

"Uh… I don't know. How about… at Sasuke's house?" Kakashi suggested.

"I don't want to." Sasuke answered coldly.

"Why? She's not dangerous." Naruto replied.

"I just don't want."

"You… unforgiving freak! This is a mission, you should participate and help!"

"Then, you volunteer."

"I… don't want… too… I'm shy to show her my apartment. It's too messy."

"Ask Kakashi-sensei if he wants to."

The two boys looked at Kakashi in a very awkward stare. That made me thought of something. I suddenly remembered the first night Itachi and I spent in that room. It was awkward too. I was behaving like a paranoid during that time. You can't blame me if I behave like that. I was at the Akatsuki headquarters and anything can happen there.

I stared at Sasuke. He was looking at me coldly. He was staring me time and again. I was starting to feel uncomfortable with his stare. It was cold, ruthless and uncompassionate. It was the same look that I saw when he saw Itachi a while ago. He really hated his brother. That's a conclusion that I can't deny. Itachi killed their family, and you can't blame me if I was Sasuke. But there's something more than in his stare.

… It was like he was judging me…

"Uh… not in my apartment. I will not be there this evening, remember? I'll be attending Ebisu's birthday celebration." Kakashi retorted.

"Yeah… I almost forgot that." Naruto replied.

"So, it's either two of you."

"Uh… Sasuke…"

"I said no. I don't want my brother's girlfriend in my apartment." Sasuke interrupted Naruto.

"How many frigging times do I have to tell you that I'm not Itachi's girlfriend?" I whispered.

"Why, Sasuke?" Naruto asked.

"I don't want someone that my brother knows to be near to me. If this wasn't a mission, I'll never do this. Shameful…" Sasuke answered.

"That's not right, Sasuke! That's not right to say to a girl!" Naruto shouted.

I suddenly froze in the place where I was standing. I stopped walking and looked at the street. I understand Sasuke's reason why he didn't want me. I was right. He was judging me. He didn't know how much it hurt me. My tears were about to flow out of my eyes, but I have to control myself. I remembered Itachi that I should control extreme emotions. But how can I control them now that I was being discriminated again?

"Sasuke, Naruto is right. You should not tell that in front of her." Kakashi said.

"I don't care. She came from Akatsuki. Even Konoha wants her back; we can't trust her much. We are not sure if Itachi didn't manipulated her to spy on us…" Sasuke said in cold tone. He was staring at me in a very cruel way. As if he was already slashing me with a kunai. "… After all, her family was also the same thing. Why trust her? Also, she's my brother's geisha. I hate her too."

I breathed deeply. I wanted to run away from them and run forever, just like what I was doing. But there was no turning back. I have to face my fear and face reality. I promised Itachi to face everything squarely. I looked at Sasuke with a sincere smile, but my eyes were burning in deep hate. I wanted to drown this emotions but I can't. Sasuke's words were too much, and it cut deep into my heart. That's why I didn't want to come back to Konoha. That's the reason why I doubt to come with him in his mission. That's why I was afraid to come back to Konoha. I rather stay at Akatsuki and suffered there, that be rejected and discriminated… and wrongfully judged by the people of your hometown. If Sasuke only knew what he was doing to me… but…

… Like his brother, he's insensitive.

"Sasuke's right." I said. Naruto and Kakashi turned around to see me. I was still looking at the ground, so my eyes will not be seen. "… He's right. You can't trust me if I came from the enemy's quarters. But, please not misjudge who is I. For you don't even know how it feels to be… different…" My voice was shivering and was changing. I finally said the words I wanted to say long time ago.

"Foolish. Look! She just told the truth…"

I looked at Sasuke. His mouth was now bleeding, and Naruto's fist was clenched. Naruto just punched him? Yes! He punched Sasuke. He was breathing exasperatedly. His eyes were burning in anger and sympathy. It seemed like he knew exactly what I feel.

I was about to turn around when Naruto grabbed my hand and said.

"She will stay with me for tonight. Would that be fine, Sir Kakashi?"

"Sure. Tomorrow, she'll be with me. Then, we can ask Sakura."

Naruto smiled to me sincerely. I noticed he was aching in pain. Maybe because of the punch he gave to Sasuke. Sasuke, on the other hand was trying to stop the pain. Even though, it was already obvious that he was in great pain.

"So, I'll be all seeing you tomorrow morning. Don't be late." Kakashi suddenly disappeared in the puff of silver smoke.

I suddenly took hold of Naruto's fist. They were also bleeding. The impact was so hard that it can create a bruise to Sasuke. I looked at it closely and examined if there's any broken bones. I breathed deeply and gently place my hand in his fist. The reddening of his hands disappeared.

"How does it feel now?" I asked.

"How did you do that?" Naruto asked in amazement.

I approached Sasuke. He was like a fierce puppy licking the wound near his mouth. He taking his steps away from him, but I gently held his hand. I placed my finger in his lips and bleeding disappeared. He looked at me in surprise. I just smiled at him sincerely.

We walked Sasuke home. None of us were saying anything. Silence was the only sound I was hearing. It was unusual. The loudmouthed Naruto was not even speaking to Sasuke. He was really angry in what Sasuke said to me. After walking Sasuke home, Naruto and I went to his apartment. He decided to break the silence.

"Neh, I haven't asked your name." He asked.

"I haven't introduce myself to you. I'm Subaru… Ichikawa Subaru." I answered.

"Ichikawa? The clan with a mysterious bloodline?"

"Yes. Why?"

"I thought no one survive it."

"Not everyone knows I'm alive."

"So, how did you heal us? I haven't felt any charka coming out of your body."

"It's my bloodline."

"Really? Iruka-sensei told us that a person from Ichikawa could possess up to seven abilities. Is that true?"

"Yeah."

"Then, how many do you have?"

"I have five abilities. One of it is healing."

"Wow! That's really amazing."

"It's actually tough too."

"Uhm… sorry for what Sasuke showed you. He's really like that."

"It's nothing. I understand him."

Moonlight was the only light that night. And, Naruto was with me. We were walking alone in the night sky and talking things about his life, and my life. I like him too. I felt secured with him. He just lousy, hyperactive ninja, but there's something that I found on him that I didn't find in myself…

… Hope…

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_A/N: Okey. I hope you like this one. Naruto volunteered even though his house was a mess! Sweet! Hope some of your questions have been answered. Please leave a review after reading this chapter. Got to go! Take care and have a nice day! _


	12. Journal Entry 12

_Disclaimer: Copyright by Masashi Kishimoto… It's his property, you know! Bet you know it, right? -winks-_

_A/N: Let's go straight! Enjoy reading!

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**JOURNAL ENTRY 12: SHATTERED REFLECTION: IS THERE SOMETHING MISSING?

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Naruto's apartment was just regular. It was really a room for just only one person. He immediately went straight to the kitchen, and I was left in the receiving area.

Typical for a boy, I thought. Messy room and unorganized things was classic to a boy, especially if his attention was on something he wants. I looked around his receiving area and tried to think of how will I arrange it. I decided to clean it up while Naruto was searching food in the kitchen.

"Subaru-chan, are you already hungry?" Naruto yelled.

"Ah… kind of. Why?" I replied.

"Ah…"

Naruto instantly ran to the receiving room. His eyes widened and jaws dropped. He was surprised on what I did to his receiving room. He then grabbed my hand and shook it as if my hands will be detached.

"I apologized if I arrange few of your things here without permission." I said.

"No! Thank you! I'm happy I got you here!" He exclaimed.

"You are…"

"I haven't clean up my place since I'm a Chuunin. I've working a lot of missions together with Kakashi-sensei and my team. So, I don't have enough time to do house cleaning."

Naruto smiled to me sincerely. His eyes were brightly sparking in delight and contentment. I was wondering why he was behaving like that. He got a high-spirited atmosphere, and here I was, thinking that living here in Konoha would be the near end of my life, eternally.

"Such… busy work." I suggested.

"Yeah. But it was fun! I can use my abilities as a ninja and also I can improve my jutsus and techniques!" Naruto was actually doing gestures. He was actually punching in the air.

"Naruto, what's good being a ninja?" I asked out of the blue.

"Hah? What do you mean? You're a ninja so, you know about that." He said.

"Ah… Naruto. I'm not a ninja."

"WHAT?"

"Yes, I'm not."

"Then, how you do that skills?"

I breathed deeply. I should not have asked about it. But, that question was hanging in my mind ever since Itachi told me that being a ninja was a fun, a choice and also, mind-numbing. And, now, here was a very young ninja telling me that being a ninja was fun without any hesitation in his tone or words. It was mind-boggling. I didn't know what was fun of setting these teenagers in missions that can cause their lives to end up, wastefully. This was ridiculous!

"It's my bloodline, Naruto. It was never thought to me. Just like Sharingan. Understood?" I explained.

"I still don't understand. Akatsuki only kidnap ninjas who are good enough to be their member. Then, why you are kidnapped?" Naruto asked.

"I just have the bloodline they want. That's all."

"But… you know how to throw kunai…"

"Yeah. Its because Itachi thought me how."

"Itachi?"

"Yeah…"

I tucked my chin to my chest. I felt incomplete again. I didn't know the reason why. I missed this guy. I truly missed Itachi. I knew this is insane. It was out of the human's capacity to understand what I was feeling at this moment. Whenever I say or hear his name, my heart pounded faster, my mind was creating his images, and my soul…

… Being alive…

"Itachi thought you? How?" Naruto asked. He was now gulping his ramen. He also gave me one. I was only sipping the soup of it, and decided to just eat the noodles later.

"Maybe the same way that Kakashi teaches you. I don't know. He just did."

"You are sure it was Itachi?"

"Yes. He is everywhere I go." My voice lowered. My tone was getting gloomy. Is this means I'm sad that I'm away from him?

"You are seems so sad. What's wrong?" Naruto asked. He sneaked his head to check out my facial expression.

"I don't know. All of the sudden, I just became sad."

"Hmm… the way Itachi treated you this afternoon. It was really unusual."

"What do you mean?"

"Itachi never really care. He was actually ruthless. He almost killed Sasuke twice. I know what I mean, right?" He was actually mumbling between his words because he was eating mouthful of ramen.

"You know Itachi?"

"Not really. He is famous here because he is S-rank criminal. He killed all the Uchiha clan to prove his strength. Then, leave Sasuke alive without clear reason. He almost killed Kakashi-sensei. Also, he also wanted the Kyuubi sealed in my body."

"You have the Kyuubi? I thought it was just a legend!"

"No, it's not. I can actually use the Kyuubi's charka in my jutsus."

"I see. Itachi killed his family to prove his strength… he never told me that."

"He never? That Itachi really wants to manipulate you."

"But why does he leave me here? I still don't understand."

Yes. I really don't understand. Itachi's behavior this afternoon was really unusual. He left me to three ninjas that I didn't even know, ninjas that consider him as their mortal enemy. But what was puzzling me was this feeling of loneliness, emptiness and incompleteness. I felt that I left the other half of my heart somewhere else. I felt so alone even though Naruto was keeping me safe and warm.

I slowly sipped and ate the ramen Naruto gave me. After we ate our little dinner, we went upstairs and try to get some sleep. He slept in the futon on the floor. He let me sleep in his bed. I saw a picture of his teacher and teammates. Such beautiful image… I asked myself If I ever felt that happy before.

Yes. I did. It was so crazy to say that during last month I felt happy with Itachi. Even though there were times that we always argue things out of Iyasu's trying-to-reach-me attitude, things that he wanted me to do and things I wanted to do. I was happy still. It was the brightest days in my life. It was a crazy idea. And, I let go a little giggle thinking of it. I was surprised when Naruto sat at the edge of the bed.

"Why?" I asked him.

"Uh… I don't know how to say this…" He was scratching his head in dawdling. "But… I think Itachi do really cares for you." Naruto said slowly.

I was speechless.

Itachi do cares. That was the most insane, densest and erratic idea I ever heard. He never really cares. He was actually a sadistic, abusive and…

I suddenly lost my words to describe him in negative way. For everything in him was so beautiful… his existence was wonderful.

But I should hate him. I have the right. He even didn't know me that well, and he kidnapped me. He, being an assassin, almost killed me in way I can't count. I even didn't know him at all. Everything I was thinking was so insensible. It was stupid.

I turned my back to Naruto. I was now staring at the window. The moonbeam was reflecting the light of the room's lampshade. I suddenly remembered Itachi's first time to kiss me…

… Signifies protection…

"How did you say so?" I asked him coldly.

"Well, he wouldn't leave you alone right? If you were his hostage, he already paralyzed you so you won't escape. He was never like that before. He also won't trust us in leaving you here."

"Plausible."

"And, you are sad."

"Huh?"

"I just know. I felt that way too before. I was also alone and discriminated before. People were avoiding me because of the Kyuubi inside me. But, that didn't let me down or lose hope. It actually gave me the strength to survive. And with my friends, I can go thru any challenges."

I smiled. He maybe didn't saw it, but I was happy on what he said.

"I guess… I'm not alone after all." I said.

"Yeah."

"Naruto… what is your biggest dream?"

"Of course! I want to be a Hokage!"

"Hokage?"

"Yes! I'll lead this country to better cause! Haha!"

"Heroic, indeed."

"How about you, Subaru?"

"Me?"

"Yeah…"

"I… just want to be… myself…"

"Huh?"

"I've been hiding away from myself. I always wanted to become something that I'm not. I always wanted things happened the way I wanted to. But, it's not what it seems. I've been crying every night, and dreaming the same dream that I know it will not happen. I've been a shattered glass. I always wanted to give up my life, but it seems so… so… wrong. I felt nothing is left for me in this world. I was in despair to make up all that happen to my past. All I just want is… to… be… loved… and I can love… and… to understand it…"

"I don't understand. It is too blurry."

"Yeah…"

"Well, you should get some sleep. Whatever you mean, you'll have your dreams. Dreams do come true if you don't lose hope, Subaru. I'll try to convince Kakashi-sensei to continue your training."

"Thanks."

Naruto lied down in the futon. I turned myself around again, and looked at Naruto's face. Such peaceful reflection I saw in his face. I'd like to have that kind of reflection. I was insecure because of my past, and here in front of me was a very young teenager who was so brave, yet we have almost the same past. I love his spirit. I let go a little laugh when he started snoring.

I looked at the ceiling and started again to contemplate. I was looking at the shattered reflection of myself. I was afraid to pick up the pieces of my heart for I know they'll be crushed over and over again. I was afraid to face reality, face my fear… and even… face the weak side of myself.

I talked to Naruto liked I never talked to anyone else like this. But, Naruto and Itachi knew things that I don't know. I was blinding myself to myself. I was afraid to look at that shattered reflection, because I was thinking it was not mine. But the truth, that reflection, that bleeding heart, that girl who wanted to escape was really I.

And, that's what I saw from Naruto. Hope and Courage. I never had those things before. I was coward, a born quitter, pessimistic and a great pretender. Deep down this beautiful angel lies…

… A fallen angel with broken wings…

I slowly closed my eyes and whispered the name of the person I was missing…

… Itachi…

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_A/N: Ah… Chapter 12! Finally… I'd updated it the way I planned it to be. Thanks to those who reviewed and read the last chapter. Naruto's a great listener, eh? Anyway, I hope you like it. Before leaving, please don't forget to leave a review. Would that be fine? Thanks for reading and I'm out of here. Have a nice day everyone! See you all at the next chapter!_


	13. Journal Entry 13

_Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns the characters I used here. Clear? If I ever own it, well… Itachi and Kakashi would be mine! **Literary! **Hahaha!

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**JOURNAL ENTRY 13:**

**ECCENTRIC FRIDAY: TSUNADE'S SURPRISE ANNOUNCEMENT

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Three months had passed by and I felt that I was already staying at Konoha for almost half of my life! People were nice and pleasant to be with, as long as I kept my real individuality far from them. It was the only way I can survive for now. That was also the same thing that Mitarashi Anko told me. I met Anko when Kakashi was looking for a Jounin to teach me and continue what Itachi have started. Fortunately, Anko's schedule was empty and was already bored so, she agreed to be my teacher. She was cocky and strident, but she was also had this soft side. Well, you can't take that away to a girl already, and every one has a soft side despite how cruel and ruthless you might appear.

The day of the week was Friday. I promised Anko to demonstrate to her how I control and manipulate the element of wind. She told me that no one in the history of Konoha ever control the power of wind, except for a girl named Temari (well, Temari was from the Sand Country anyway). Anko also told me that Temari had a limit on that, also she had a weapon to control it. In my part, it was already a talent I don't have to deny.

I slowly lift myself up from the ground as I strode to throw the kunai in the tree. As I released the kunai in my hand, I was also manipulating the wind to adjust the kunai to the direction I desire. My eyes changed from hazel brown to sky blue eyes as I tried to shift and control the kunai's direction. The kunai hit the tree deeply. I looked at Anko in inquisitiveness. I smiled.

"Not bad." Anko said while walking to the tree. She pulled out the kunai from the trunk, with full strength and power. She threw it back to me. I caught it with my left hand. "That was very deep! The kunai that you threw this time cut through deeper than the previous ones. You're doing great."

"Thanks." I replied as I was trying to catch my breath.

"All you have to do is to control the flow of your charka in your body to connect it to the weapon. If you didn't control that well, you'll be wasting a lot of it. You need to control it to conserve energy."

"I got it."

Anko slipped her hand in the pocket of her beige jacket. She suddenly threw a piece of apple. I caught it effortless.

"What is this for?" I asked.

"I met Sasuke when I was going here this morning. He wants me to give that to you." Anko answered with a sneer.

Sasuke? The lone survivor of Uchiha clan? I must be dreaming! I felt a large fan was slapping me when I heard Anko telling me those things. Sasuke just gave me an apple? This must be one of the most unanticipated events in the history of my life! I thought Sasuke hated me for being with his brother. I looked at the apple with amazement and also, wonder. It was Sasuke who gave me this.

"I can't believe it." I said.

"Maybe the kid is trying to trust you, since he knows that you'll bring him to his brother. Also, he likes you. So, I was not surprise." Anko said.

"He likes me?"

"Well, Sasuke likes strong girls with wicked and unique abilities. You're not far from that selection."

"How did you say so?"

"Kakashi told me once that Sasuke was impressed by the way you save Itachi from his Katon Housenka no Jutsu. No one did that before except the First Hokage."

"Oh…"

I stared at the red apple. It was supposed to be nothing at all, but it came from Sasuke, Itachi's younger brother. I thought of expressing my gratitude to him. After all, it was really tiring to control the wind than earth and water. I bit the apple and smiled at Anko.

"Can you tell me where to find Sasuke?" I asked.

"Well, he might be with Kakashi. Kakashi told me that Jounins would be at the academy this afternoon. There'll be a huge announcement coming from the Hokage herself." Anko replied.

"Well, I don't know if I'll call this a coincidence… but I promise Naruto to go at the academy this afternoon."

"Naruto? That loud boy… Oh well! If that's the case, then you can come along with me."

"That's really nice of you, Anko-sensei!"

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The noon was so hot, and my perspiration was on its utmost level. I felt I was walking in the desert while Anko was discussing things with her friend, Yuuhi Kurenai. Kurenai was a mysterious but nice lady. I almost distinguished her eyes to eyes that possess Sharingan. But she told me that it was just the natural color of her eyes. Together with her was her long-time boyfriend, Sarutobi Asuma. I called him cigarette guy because there was never a day I didn't saw him without his precious cigarette stick in his mouth.

"Oh really? So, Hokage-sama wants to inform us with the upcoming threat?" Anko exclaimed.

"Yes. And good thing you brought your student, Subaru with us." Kurenai suggested.

"It was actually an accident. She went along with me because she promised to Naruto to see him at the academy. Why did you say so?"

"If I was not mistaken on what I heard yesterday, Hokage-sama wants to talk with her."

"With Subaru? I think I know what she'll be telling to us."

Kurenai suddenly whispered to Anko's ears. I was tempted to use one of my bloodline abilities to know what Kurenai just said to Anko. But, that was a very bad idea. I might disappoint and maybe hurt myself if I knew what are they thinking. Also, there'll be no thrill or excitement. So, I decided not to. But there was a sudden different throb came in my heart. It was like an electric current was sent in my mind. An image came out of my mind… an image so familiar… an image that made my heart… throbbed faster…

… An image of Itachi flashed in my mind…

But… Why it was Itachi? In all of the people that might be close to me, it was Itachi. Wait? Did I say? Itachi was close to my heart? Was this the real me? My mind suddenly drifted away by the stillness of the image that was on my mind. When I felt a tap from my left shoulders.

"Did you eat your lunch, Subaru?" Asuma asked.

"Ah… Yes. Why?" I answered.

"You suddenly turned pale. Do you need a drink? We can stop at Ichiraku to buy you one." Kurenai suggested.

"I did? Well, maybe because of the severe heat of the sun." I suddenly smiled sweetly. I wanted to assure this Jounins that I was doing fine, even though I was having a very bad feeling about the announcement, and I was feeling so worried of Itachi, and his brother… Sasuke.

"Then, we should proceed. Surely, your students are already waiting for you." Anko suggested.

"Anko-sensei is right. Let's hurry up!" I yelled while walking backwards. I beamed sincerely at them. I turned my back around and sighed. But I continued to smile, even though my mind was going insane on the feelings that were circling my heart.

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We arrived at the meeting place exactly at the time it was decided. I was funny to see Maito Gai and his students in the meeting place too! And, once again… Gai made his opening speech to greet me.

"Such beautiful butterfly under the heat of noon sunshine! Good afternoon, Subaru!" Gai greeted.

"Cut that off, Gai. You're making my student uneasy." Anko suggested.

I smiled nicely at Gai. He was actually funny, with his green spandex stretchable suit, bobbed hair and ridiculous thick eyebrows. He was really funny. I suddenly looked at his novice, Rock Lee.

Rock Lee was such a wonderful guy. He taught me before pieces of knowledge about Taijustu and how can I use this. Gai always told me how hardworking Lee is. Despite the inability to do Genjutsu or Ninjutsu, he had perfected the Taijutsu. He was a personification of perseverance and determination, the same one I saw from Naruto. Except, that Rock Lee can really be so stupid, and also I can easily control him around my hands.

"Hello, Subaru-chan! Are you also going with us?" Lee asked.

"Yeah." I answered.

I looked at Hyuga Hinata, the girl with a very innocent demeanor but strength of a fierce warrior. I like her being herself. I smiled sincerely at her, and she did too. I suddenly remembered Naruto telling me how he liked Hinata so much. Except, that he didn't know how to approach Hinata properly. Yamanaka Ino suddenly tugged my long red auburn hair.

"Yes, Ino?" I asked.

"Have you seen Sasuke-kun?" She asked.

"Sasuke? Nope. But he gave me an apple."

"WHAT?"

I was never surprised in Ino's reaction. When Asuma invited me to train with his students, Ino kept on telling me stories how great and admirable Sasuke was. I just kept on nodding in all her comments. But I noticed noticeable reactions from her when her teammate, Nara Shikamaru started talking to me like he was courting. Shikamaru was a refined yet lazy man. I can tell directly from his eyes that he was a deep and unreadable person. But, he was intelligent. Asuma told me how Shikamaru deals with complicated problems with very simple solutions. I admired his uniqueness. I got to admit that if I became a ninja, I want Shikamaru to be my partner.

On the other hand, Tenten, Kurenai's only rose in her group was eyeing on me. I never talked much to Tenten. She was keeping on telling me how good the Hyuga genius was. That's all. I always wanted to ask Tenten if she "admired" Hyuga Neji. Alternatively, Neji was keep on persisting me to spar with him. He always reminded me that one day he'd surely beat me. I was just smiling at him whenever he asked me to.

We all went together to the academy, with my thoughts still attached on Itachi's image in my head. Neji noticed the anxiety that reflected in my eyes.

"What's wrong, Subaru?" Neji asked.

"Nothing. Why?" I answered.

"Don't lie to me."

"Why? Did you activate your Byakugan?"

"None of your business."

"What makes you talkative today, Neji?"

Neji was flabbergasted. I knew he was worried, but I have to act that I'm fine. Or else, they'll be having the most confusing event. If I tell them that I was thinking of Itachi, what would be their reactions? They might even conclude that I was working for him. That would be the possible effects. And, if that happened, I would find myself having a war against Konoha… nice nightmare.

I found myself facing the gates of the academy. The first person that came to me was the ever-famous loud yell from Naruto.

"Subaru-chan!" Naruto yelled.

"Hey!" I yelled. I waved my hand so he could see me.

Almost everyone was there. I saw Shizune, Ibiki, Ebisu and numerous different kinds of ninja existing at this village. I was surprised that aside from Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura was running to my direction. I smiled, but actually astonished.

"I'm sorry to leave you alone this morning, Subaru-chan." Sakura apologized.

Yes. I was living at the house of Sakura. It was actually a difficult process to convince her. It was actually Sasuke who convinced her. Sasuke promised to Sakura to go dating with her if she agrees. Well, it seemed like it was not just once, but Sasuke dated Sakura already several times after that deal. Naruto told me that he saw Sasuke and Sakura together several times at Ichiraku and at the village park. I smelt something's on. I just thought if that regular normal life would happen to me. Oh well! Subaru will never have that.

"It's fine, Sakura. I can manage myself." I said, trying my best covered up my anxiety.

All of the sudden, the people became quiet when Tsunade came into the scene. They started to lend their ears to the Hokage's announcement.

"I don't know how to start this but our dear country will be experiencing another challenge again. This will test the strength and unity of our dear nation. I received a letter coming from Akatsuki." Tsunade said. She was straightforward and didn't want to waste anytime.

Akatsuki? The first two persons that popped into my mind was…

… Itachi…

And

… Sasuke…

I looked beside me. Sasuke was standing beside me. I was surprised to see that Kakashi was one my back. His eyes were vigilantly staring at me. There's something I didn't know that I must know…

For Itachi…

**_My dear Itachi…_**

Is in trouble…

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_A/N: Chapter 13 is up! She meant! She loves Itachi? Let's find out the next chapters, and thanks for the reviews. Hehe! Thanks for reading it, and my past chapters. I'll be updating late, as you'll expect so that's all I think! Please leave a review and I hope you like it! Take care and have a nice day!_


	14. Journal Entry 14

_Disclaimer: Me… don't own Naruto… -sighs-_

_A/N: Uh… Alert! I need your help! I need this as a survey, so after you read this chapter I would like to know your opinions. Would you like to have a special chapter where it was Itachi who is speaking? It's like, he was telling his feelings and confusions… somewhat like that. If you want to, please include it in your review. Now, back to the story.  
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**JOURNAL ENTRY 14:**

**THE CHOICE OF THE LIFETIME: THE ULTIMATE DISCOVERY

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"… We received a threat from Akatsuki…"

My knees were trembling. My hands placed on my chest. I felt the heartbeat from the visceral inside of my body. I felt the temperature increasing in my whole being. As my mind started to swirl around the depths of my inner confusion, here it comes again.

Tsunade's last words still was deafening my mind. It was still ringing my ears and slowly sinking into my skin. I suddenly looked up to the sun. It was blinding my ears, and I want to take away the sun… I started hearing whispers and voices around me. I was acting like a paranoid. My doubts were starting to take over me and inject it's way again.

"People, silence!" Tsunade yelled. "I just received last night a letter from the Akatsuki."

"A letter?" Sakura asked.

"Keep silent, Sakura." Sasuke suggested.

"…It was written in this letter that they'll be taking over Konoha and the Sand country after three weeks." Tsunade said.

"And, what do they want?" Ebisu yelled.

Tsunade's eyes suddenly shifted its direction to me. Her eyes were trembling in great fear and anxiety. I suddenly found myself bowing down into such guilt and sorrow. The other ninjas followed Tsunade's eyes. Everyone was now looking at me, with questions in their mind, confusions and maybe doubts. I didn't know what to think. I was looking both sideways. I was afraid to meet their eyes. I felt several people, not knowing anything, are questioning me.

"I knew it!" Kurenai said. "… They wanted your dear student back." She faced Anko with a brilliant but worried smile.

Anko, on the other hand, was not minding what her friend Kurenai was saying. She was looking at me. Her eyes questioning herself on what she'll do if Akatsuki would attack Konoha right now?

"Everyone, we should prepare and immediately warn our citizens. In a meanwhile, I would like to talk to Hatake Kakashi and Mitarashi Anko." Tsunade said.

* * *

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* * *

I was sitting beside Sakura. But my mind was not on my situation; it was focusing on Itachi's situation.

There was never a night I wouldn't think and wonder how he was doing. After what happen to the park, my night had been so sleepless. I can't even take my mind out of him. He was everywhere that I go, I dream, I think and I see. It was such insanity and beautiful thing to say. I was starting to contemplate how did Akatsuki accepted that they lost me, and how did Itachi deal with them. I knew that Itachi was an intelligent and tricky ninja, but I really had a bad feeling about this.

I was thinking of leaving Konoha this evening. I didn't want another war or massacre to happen in front of me. I was a born coward, and forever I will run away from troubles. All the troubles that this people now encountering was all because of me. My mind was teasing me to cut off any communication or relation to them. My other personality wanted to take over again, to reject this feeling. But I can't escape anymore… this was real...

… And reality can hurt so badly…

"Neh! Are you alright?"

I saw Naruto's eyes meeting mine. His bright big eyes were shining. He was worried. The last time I saw his eyes like this was when we were talking about my uncertainties about Konoha and myself.

Kakashi and Anko were inside Tsunade's office. I was so much nervous about what they are talking about. I was getting confused on all the things that were happening around me. Settling and staying at Konoha would be the nicest thing I could do, but now…

… I brought trouble…

… I was guilty.

We were waiting for this two Jounin to come out of the office. Sasuke was keep on walking to and fro in the corridor. Sakura was leaning against the wall, and Naruto sitting beside me. My hands were shaking, and my whole body was trembling. I didn't know why I was at this state. I didn't know the feelings either. It was mixed-up. I didn't know if I was afraid, scared, confused, or nervous.

And now, this was the biggest mistake I ever made. Not going with Akatsuki or abandoning my family customs, this was this! I put a millions of citizens in a possible war! I was the reason, and whatever the result of the meeting was…

… I'll stay away from Konoha and shall never dip people into trouble again…

All my life, I never had a friend or a close acquaintance not being into trouble. They either lost or died. This was what I brought to everyone. I brought it once in my family, and now…

… At my hometown, then…

… To the people I cherish and…

… The one person who save me…

My eyes were about to be flooded by the tears… those tears that show how vulnerable and weak I was. I was running… running away to face the things… the consequences of changing the pace and face of time… the destiny had come to engulf me to shut me up.

The experiences I had with those 12 Chuunins were going to be just a dream. It will never last long. This was not my real world, and I didn't deserve it. Being in the darkness was my liar. I didn't have to fight; it was already my identity. My eyes were about to spill out tears when the door opened.

I looked at Kakashi and Anko. I was not looking at their faces, but I was just staring at their feet. I was ashamed to look straight to them. Anko sat beside me gently. I stared at her sideways. I was thinking twice to ask her what's wrong but Sasuke was the one who confidently asked.

"Kakashi-sensei, what happened?" Sasuke asked.

"I'll tell you later. For a while, we have to leave Anko and Subaru alone." Kakashi answered with his tone of assurance.

"But… we can't leave her here! I don't want to!" Naruto yelled.

"Stupid! You don't understand, didn't you?" Sasuke answered.

"Don't call me stupid, Uchiha!"

Naruto suddenly grabbed Sasuke by his neck. The teen was really intense. He was expressing extreme emotions that bring out the best of him, and something the ones that could put him into trouble.

"Stop! Just please… go with Kakashi now." I said.

"Subaru-chan…" Naruto said.

"You have to go now! And, that's your sensei's order. I don't want any trouble now… so just go away!" I yelled.

I submerged my face in my hands. I was sobbing. My mind and heart was bursting. Intense emotions and doubts swirling around my whole being… I can't handle them. I didn't want to yell at Naruto, but I was so much confused and guilty on the things that were happening in Konoha… in my life! This was so much unacceptable than what happen to my family. I didn't want to lose any of these persons surrounding me. Naruto… Sasuke… Sakura… Kakashi… Anko… and all the people in Konoha have changed my life. And, I would go really insane if one of them ever…

… Die…

Silence covered the place… a type of silence that was demonstrating anguish, melancholy, and fretfulness. All I heard was their breathing… lapses of breathing. I knew they were not expecting what I just did. But, enough is enough! I want to stop this now… and this to end…

"Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke… let's go." Kakashi said.

I slowly held my head up high. I saw Naruto in front me. My vision was blurry. My tears were covering my sight. His bright blue eyes were staring at me in soft way. He slowly put his hand on my head, patted it like he was patting a dog.

"I'm not angry. I'll protect you, and that's a promise." Naruto pledged.

He gave me the brightest and most beautiful smile I ever seen in him. My eyes widened. I was surprised. Those words were familiar to me… words reminded of someone I was longing for caress, to see…

… Itachi…

I slowly bowed down and tears slowly welled up at my eyes. I slowly remembered Itachi's promise. And, I will never see him to do that promise to me.

"You don't know what you are saying… Naruto…" I whispered.

"I know what I'm saying, and I won't break my promise. That's my way of being a ninja."

They slowly went away. But before they leave, Sasuke whispered something to my ears.

"If my brother ever hurt you, it's me who will face him. I promise."

I stared at the blank space, with an unknown feeling. I didn't know what to say. He hated his brother so much. I wanted to protest but I have no right. After all, Itachi was Sasuke's brother. Sasuke had the right to kill his brother.

"Stop it… you don't have to do this." I kept on whispering those words a hundred times.

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* * *

We were inside Tsunade's office. I was staring at the blank space of the walls. My heart was aching, and my mind was confused. Here it goes again, the delusions in my mind were starting to be activated again. I hated this… I hate myself!

I was sitting at the right side of the desk. I was facing Anko. I was staring at her in very doubtful way. This feeling was nothing more than just a cycle… a repetition… I guess I'll never get away from this.

"I'm here to talk to you, personally." Tsunade said.

I was not answering her questions. I didn't know how to answer her questions.

"Subaru… I have to ask you first one thing. This might get personal, but… do you have any intimate relationship with Uchiha Itachi?"

"No." I said coldly.

"Good. This second question will surely get into your nerves."

"Then, throw it to me."

Before Tsunade asked me question, she swallowed. I can tell it from her face that she was afraid, and at the same time, worried.

"Do you know anything about the forbidden jutsu of your family?"

My body started to shiver again. The forbidden jutsu? My father taught me about that and I knew how dangerous it could get be. I faced Tsunade with sharp eyes.

"Now, just tell me why?" I said stridently.

"Because… one of the ninja spies I send to Akatsuki reported me that the leader was practicing a forbidden jutsu that was invented by Ichikawa family. I didn't understand it. But, if my memory still remembered it clearly, it was forbidden because of its ultimate sacrifice. Am I right?"

"Yes…"

This meant that Makoto was practicing the jutsu for a long time already! And, who could be the sacrifice? It should be a strong and talented ninja, or else… you'll be engulfed by the jutsu itself. I was already thinking who might be…

"Tsunade-sama… can I ask who is the sacrifice?" I asked with my voice trembling.

"It's Kisame and his geisha… Yuki."

I sighed. I almost thought it was Itachi. Kisame and Yuki… why them? Questions suddenly popped up in my mind.

"Tsunade-sama… I know there's more you want to know."

"Yes. Tell me about this forbidden jutsu."

"If it was someone from Ichikawa will perform the said jutsu, there's no need of sacrifice. It only needed a sacrifice if it will be perform by an ordinary ninja. This jutsu can channel your mind to other people's mind. It can be a whole army or a whole country. Then, it's up to the one who's performing it what to do. But…"

"But…"

"But there's something more. The one who performs the jutsu can destroy one's brain and his whole body functions according to his will."

Tsunade sighed. I knew this could be difficult for her. As a Hokage, she should know what to do. But now, she was clueless about it.

"But… Tsunade-sama…" I said.

"Yes, Subaru?"

I was thinking twice if I'm going to tell her the reverse of that forbidden jutsu. My family taught me how to do it but there'll be sacrifices.

"I know how to reverse the jutsu…"

Tsunade and Anko looked at me eagerly. I just breathed deeply. I was regretting to be a part of a family that is full of sacrifices and mysteries. I was helpless and all I can do is to help Konoha about it. I brought Konoha to this, so I'll end it.

"How?" Anko said.

"By doing the reverse of its seals, and then combining it to my fifth ability."

"Which is…"

"Psychic ability…"

Anko was surprised, so as Tsunade. I was afraid to use my fifth ability because it always eat ups my mind. If my fifth ability wasn't used properly, the user will turn insane. That's what I was afraid of. I can even kill anyone without acknowledge… without myself, knowing it. If one's emotions were unstable, this ability will not be used properly. In my today's situation… I was so much unstable.

"Then… I don't have any choice… you have to pick up a choice… Surrender to Akatsuki, or you'll fight with us to protect Konoha…" Tsunade suggested.

I was shut. This was the one I've been waiting for. I have two choices, either to fight Itachi, or be with Itachi. But, which will I choose? My destiny was on its way to either regret, or victory. I didn't want to leave Konoha behind and forever be perished. It'll be my entire misery if that happen. At the same time, I didn't want to fight Itachi.

I just realized how much I love this ninja. I didn't know why or how. But, I love him more than I love myself. I didn't care what he was, what he have done… as long as he was fine… I didn't want to fight him…

Vulnerability and mystification was taking over my soul. I didn't know what to do.

"I'll give you one week to decide. I hope you'll pick the right one… you deserve better than this…" Tsunade said.

Do I really deserve to be torn between two responsibilities?

I love Konoha… the people around it despite what they have done to my family…

I love Itachi… even though it seems so hopeless to be with him…

What shall I do?

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_A/N: Such long time to update this. I hope you like this. I really have the hard time about it. Do you want to know Itachi's feelings? Then, if you want just tell me through your reviews, and right away… I will make a special chapter. Thanks for reading and don't forget to leave a review. This is all for now. I'm out of here. Have a nice day!_


	15. Journal Entry 15

_Disclaimer: Naruto is not my property. Do I have to say that? You know that already!_

_A/N: Hello! Thanks for those people who responded to my help! The special chapter will be posted after Chapter 15. Oh well… There's also a question posted in my reviews. Chapter 13 had the answer. Subaru was been hanging out with Naruto and company for three months. Longer than the stay with Itachi right? This chapter will give you… a hint? Let me remind you that sentences italicized and are in bold are flashbacks. Okey! Let's go back to the story!

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**JOURNAL ENTRY 15:**

**ICHIKAWA MAUSOLEUM: RECOLLECTION

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I slowly opened my eyes, and started blinking. I was awake again. Since yesterday, I always hope of sleeping forever and not waking up anymore. I looked up at the ceiling, and stared it for a long time. When will my life be stable again? Or, there's no way for my life to become so even?

I slowly got up. I was sitting at my bed and still crumpling my blanket. I was wiping my eyes from any marks of tears or something. I was so discouraged. I let myself fell down again in the bed and stared at the ceiling.

I only got two weeks and one day left to decide, and still haven't got any hint or sign what should I do. I gritted my teeth. If I wouldn't find any solution about this, I'll just go away from Konoha and try my best to live alone. Runaway, far away from Itachi… that would be the safest way but…

… I promise to myself not to runaway anymore.

"Ahh!" I yelled. I embedded my head between two pillows. Then suddenly got up and faced the big circular mirror hanging in the wall. I looked at myself carefully. I noticed I have changed a lot since I got at Konoha.

My hair grew longer, and I became silkier and softer. I let go a little giggle. I combed my hair through my fingers. I stopped when I saw the black ribbon that was interlaced in my wrist.

"… Itachi… where are you now?" I whispered.

A knock suddenly heard at the door. I sighed. I knew who was at the door already.

"I'm awake, Sakura." I yelled.

"Neh! This is not Sakura. This is Naruto." The voice yelled.

What? Naruto was here in Sakura's house? Why? Since when did Sakura allow Naruto to go here? I never remembered anytime that she wanted Naruto in her house. I decided to open the door to make sure it was really Naruto.

I slowly opened the door and stared at Naruto. He was wearing a black shirt with that red spiral design in the middle, and brown Capri pants. He wasn't wearing his typical orange jumpsuit. But what I noticed was the red crocheted sleeveless vest with the white hood at it's back. I smiled.

"Why are you smiling?" Naruto asked.

"Nothing." I smiled brightly and suddenly closed the door.

"Hey! Aren't you just going to say something about my outfit?" Naruto yelled.

"Yeah… I've noticed it." I yelled while brushing my hair.

"Yes! Look, Sasuke! She likes my outfit!" He shouted as I heard his footsteps going down the stairs. His voice was fading as the sound of the footsteps vanishing.

I laughed. I remembered I made that vest for him. I wondered what's gotten into him. He told me he'd never wear that. But, look at him now. He was wearing it with his favorite shirt.

"Not bad after all." I said to myself.

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I sat down at the dining table with eagerness. I decided just to forget first the worries. It'll make me look older. (That's a tip of advice from Ino.) I saw Sakura from a far tugging Sasuke by his sleeves. I let go a little chuckle.

"Sasuke-kun, let's eat. Subaru-chan cooked the breakfast today. You'll surely like it." Sakura said.

"Why don't you tell him that I teach you how to cook too? I'm not the only one who cook all of this." I suggested.

"Sakura-chan can cook? Since when, Subaru-chan?" Naruto asked, as he smelled the ramen in the table.

"Well, since I live here with her. She told me she couldn't cook properly."

"That's good for her. Sakura always bring us bad lunch during trainings."

"NARUTO!" Sakura yelled.

I giggled, as Sakura was chasing Naruto around the receiving area. Sasuke slowly sat at the chair beside me. I looked at Sasuke with a smile. He also smiled with me.

I looked at Sasuke and noticed he was also wearing a blue crocheted vest with black hood at it's back. The different was there was a design at the back of the vest. It was the Uchiha emblem.

I also looked at Kakashi. He was wearing the same vest with Naruto. It had two pockets and a sign of Konoha was designed in one of the pocket. I noticed Sakura wearing a blue dress that matches with Sasuke's vest. It fitted to her very much.

"Sakura…" I said. "The dress looks good on you. I thought you'd never wear that."

"Well… I just did." Sakura said shyly. She slowly sat at the chair and served the food to us.

"What are your plans today, Subaru?" Kakashi asked.

"Nothing really. Anko-sensei hasn't told me any training. So, I guess… I'll just stay here."

"Don't you want to go around Konoha?" Naruto suggested.

Going around Konoha… that would help. While thinking about Naruto's suggestion, an image suddenly popped up in my head.

A tombstone… with my father's name engraved on it… Ichikawa Toshiko… The place was full of chrysanthemum and tulips. And one of the tombstones had hyacinths and a sword on the top of it. The name engraved… Ichikawa Sasaki… I looked around and saw another tombstone and a vase of pink carnations… Ichikawa Nanami. I knew this place.

"I think I shall go to my family's mausoleum." I suddenly spitted out the words out of the blue.

"Then, let me go with you." Sasuke suggested.

"Sure. How about you, Kakashi?" I asked.

"I got to report to Ibiki about the current security at the West gate. So, I can't go." Kakashi said while sipping the ramen soup.

"I want to go!" Naruto yelled.

"You don't have to shout, Naruto. I want to go too!" Sakura said.

"Then, it's all set!" I smiled.

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We were walking at the peaceful and joyful streets of Konoha. I can still remember where my family built a mausoleum for our ancestors. It was been 11 years since I visited that place. It was a mausoleum where dead people lies… but the dreams lived along the wind.

Sakura brought a basket of food for a picnic. Naruto suggested a picnic after visiting my family's graveyard. It was so unfortunate that Kakashi wasn't with us. I looked up at Kakashi as my older brother. We also passed by Ino's flower shop to buy some flowers. Sasuke and Naruto brought blankets and drinks. I kept on looking at them as Naruto teasing Sakura. They looked all good together.

A memory suddenly came back to my mind. I was the youngest in the family, and also the toughest, most persistent, and shrewdest. I was even known to be the most stubborn among my cousins. I looked at Sasuke. He smiled.

"I thought you'd never wear that vest." I said.

"I just did." Sasuke said.

"Then, why?"

"Nothing. I wanted to change my fashion outlook sometimes."

"Really?"

I never thought of the day I'd see Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura wearing my creations. Yes, I made their vest, and Sakura's pink dress. And, I was happy that even Kakashi wore that one.

I suddenly stopped at a large black gate surrounded by small yellow flowers. I slowly opened the gate and gently stepped in my right foot.

"Are we here?" Naruto said.

"Yes." I said sadly.

The feeling of being alone was again in my atmosphere. The place hadn't change a bit. The feeling of lost, sorrow and despair was again lingering in my heart. I slowly walked around the grasses and flowers that surrounding the place. The wind was blowing so gently. It was moving my hair.

I stopped at a tomb with a sword on the top. I slowly moved away the dust and dry leaves covering the tomb. The name etched appeared.

"Ichikawa… Sasaki…" Sasuke read the name.

"Who is she, Subaru-chan?" Naruto asked.

"My elder sister." I answered.

I still remembered her sermons. She was the most bossy around the family. She wanted everything to be organize and in order. Sasaki was the one who was training me to become a perfect warrior. I still remembered those times…

* * *

_**"Subaru… you should learn that…" **_

_**"A ninja should be prepare at all times… I already know that, Sasaki-nichan!" **_

_**"Then, why are you not prepared for this training?" **_

_**"Why should I? You told me that I'll not bring anything today." **_

_**"You… stubborn little girl!"

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"Sasaki-nichan was my first sensei…" I said. "She taught me the basics that was taught at the academy."

"You never entered the academy?" Naruto asked.

"No. The Fourth Hokage prohibited it. He told the instructors to never admit any child from our family again."

"Why?"

"Children are emotional. They can't still control their emotions very well. Once an Ichikawa can't control his emotions, his ability will instantly kill anybody. Thus, through this, dangers can be lessened."

I placed replaced the dried hyacinths with new ones. Hyacinth was the favorite flower of Sasaki. I slowly walked away from the tomb, and closed my eyes. I walked to the next tomb, which Sakura already cleaned.

"Ichikawa Nanami… the name sounds familiar." Sakura said.

"Of course. She's my sister, and one of the best medic kunoichi working for ANBU when the Fourth Hokage was still the one ruling Konoha."

"She's your sister?"

"Actually, she was Sasaki-nichan's twin sister. They were exactly opposite. Nanami-nichan was very outspoken and talkative. She always bragged her position in the ANBU squad."

* * *

_**"Nanami-nichan… do you think I should really be a ninja?" **_

_**"Why? Do have any doubts, Subaru?" **_

_**"Well… what if I don't want to be a ninja? I know Mama and Papa will be mad at me." **_

_**"Just follow your heart. They'll soon understand." **_

_**"But, Sasaki-nichan told me that they'll get mad." **_

_**"Not really. Don't easily believe on that old hag. Mama and Papa might be disappointed. But you have to prove to them that being a ninja is not really for you." **_

_**"Then… I should follow them." **_

_**"Not always. You soon will learn what's good for you. After all, not all your life… you will be dependent with us. Following the path… your heart wants to be is the best trait of being a ninja." **_

_**"Really?" **_

_**"Oh yes! Just be real, and be hopeful. Plus faith… you'll never shrink!"

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"I'll never shrink. You're a liar, freaking talkative parrot." I whispered to myself as I gently replaced the dry chrysanthemums with fresh ones. "I'm sorry if I choose white carnations… not your ever pink ones. My money is not enough to buy one. Also, you're already in heaven… or whatever place you are right now. And, you can't scold me of buying what you like."

Naruto and Sasuke gently leaned on the brick walls surrounding my sisters' tomb when one of the bricks revolved. A box suddenly appeared.

"Whoa! What's that?" Naruto yelled.

"A secret case?" I said.

I slowly got the box and opened it. I found a brown, dusty and old notebook. A yellow ribbon tied it up with a black tussle at each end. I slowly untied the ribbon and opened it. My eyes widened as I read the words. Here were the exact words written in the notebook.

"**A reverse jutsu of the hidden and forbidden Ichikawa technique should be used by an Ichikawa that possessed the five important abilities. Also, he should master the three levels of healing: rejuvenation, regeneration and resurrection. The Ichikawa technique performer should already possess the ability to control the water and fire perfectly. Thus, making him more powerful and also can control his stamina. However, the reverse jutsu will not be done if he will not use the most important Ichikawa bloodline limit, the Psychic ability. It might be the most dangerous, but it really helps and breaks the jutsu and reverse it easily." **

I kept on blinking after reading the paragraph. I slowly turned to other page when I found it in bold and italicized penmanship.

**"However, the Ichikawa technique performer should be good enough to control his feelings or else he'll be kill. Also, the performer should be prepare for the sacrifice…" **

"And the sacrifice would be?" Naruto suddenly spoke.

"Are you reading it too?" I asked?

"Yes… so let's continue. Shall we?"

"Yeah…"

I continued reading the words. This time, it read it out loud.

**"The sacrifice can't be replaced. It is already written since the ancient times of Konoha. However, the Ichikawa technique performer of the reverse jutsu should already find the one he'll spend his life with after doing the jutsu. The sacrifice would be…" **

"After doing it, you'll only live for only two years, sacrificing the rest of your life. " I said.

Silence covered the place. The sacrifice made my decision making more difficult. Now, that there's already a sacrifice I should make in doing that jutsu.

A flashback suddenly came back to my mind. This time, it was with my father.

* * *

**_"Why do you still want to protect Konoha, Papa?" _**

_**"Because, it's our homeland." **_

_**"But, this is what you called homeland? People are misjudging you and discriminating us! Papa, we should take revenge!" **_

_**"And, what do we get from it? More disgrace?" **_

_**"Ahh…" **_

_**"Subaru, if we take revenge on what they are doing, then, we already prove to them that we are murderers. But, if we take step on saving Konoha, there might be a time that people will understand why we are like this." **_

_**"And, why do you wish to protect Konoha?" **_

_**"It's where your heart is. It's the homeland that we belong with. You'll soon realize that."

* * *

**_

That memory gave me another reason to live. Now, I know why I feel so much welcome at Konoha despite what they did to my family. It was the thing that my father kept on telling me when I was still a mere kid.

"Subaru-chan…" Naruto yelled. "… There's still a note here!"

"Where?" I said, as I grabbed the notebook from Naruto.

**"Soon, Subaru will realize she have to do this jutsu. She got the guts, the power and ability. While Nanami and Sasaki didn't have the five abilities, I knew this would come. And, by that time, I hope Subaru already found the love you'll spend with… forever…**

**Love, **

**Papa" **

They knew it… after all…

* * *

_A/N: This chapter is really blurry! It supposedly give you a hint on her decision, however, you have to ready first the most awaited chapter! The special chapter! Just wait and see, how Itachi feels upon hearing the choice that was offered to Subaru. Thanks to those who reviewed my last chapter. I hope you'll like this one. I'm out of here! Take care and Have a nice day!_


	16. Special Chapter: Itachi Perception

_Disclaimer: This belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. Not mine… The one that's mine is my OC…_

_ A/N: Here's the most awaited chapter ever! I think so. Well, we are about to know what's really going on with Itachi. It will also reveal his vague and unpredictable concern towards Subaru, and the like. Yeah, that's all. This is written in Itachi's point of view. I got to admit that Sasuke has been so good to Subaru nowadays. I wonder why. Let's get in on! Enjoy reading!

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_

**THE BONUS CHAPTER:**

**RADIANCE AND LUCIDITY: UCHIHA ITACHI

* * *

**

The morning sunshine instantly beamed out in my face. The moment I opened my eyes, it blocked out my sight. It was morning already. I slowly got up from the bed and decided to open widely the windows.

The windows… I sighed. I actually don't open the windows in a room, but I get used to it. Every day, I make sure the windows were opened. That is typically weird. I suddenly looked out the window and saw another pathetic being.

Makoto… the pathetic imprudent leader of Akatsuki. He was vigorous again, and trying to learn how to perfect that forbidden jutsu he stole from a very mysterious and powerful family. I've heard from his geisha Misha, which the jutsu was only for people who have the ability to control and balance one's mind. I can't believe that Makoto considered himself as balance. He was a mad bastard. A worthless ninja…

The jutsu however disturbs me a lot. It came from Subaru's family. A family unknown for unlimited power and abilities… I presumed that Makoto have noticed that, thus taking advantage to the fragile emotions of Subaru. I hate to think that. It makes me ill. Seeing him torturing a soul as shattered as Subaru makes me furious.

But, I've seen a lot of the same situation as Subaru. But, her was different. A fragile flower standing at the lonely road… that's the way I see her. She was trying to stand alone, even though she can't. She's really stupid. She can never learn to be… strong…

And, now… she's everything. Different, huh? I said to myself. I wanted to talk to Makoto about the jutsu. But, he ignores me. I was trying to approach Iyasu, but my blood was boiling when I was just miles away from him.

I went out of the room. Staying in there makes me more uncomfortable. The room without Subaru was nothing more than an empty abandoned place. It was just a room. You put things there, and go away if you want to. Just that…

But, when Subaru was still at that room… doing her things in her own way, the room was more than just storage. It was significant. I always looked forward to run to that room and be with her. Just to be with her. Even though, I always at the room before or during she sleep.

I stepped out to the headquarters. Everyone was preparing for the upcoming ambush to Konoha. Konoha… a place I would never forget. I never regret leaving Konoha… I have to. My destiny was never there. That small village full of luminosity and bliss, which I can't comprehend.

I approached one of geishas having fun at the garden. I needed information, or else I'll go insane to kill everyone here without knowing what's going on.

"Itachi-san… what can I do for you?" One of geisha said.

"Can you tell me what's going on?" I said.

"Everyone was preparing for upcoming plan to attack Konoha. Makoto received a letter from the village that they are not going to surrender your geisha."

Good. I sighed. But, I'm still afraid on what might happen to her. Even though I have the right to bring her back, it's still best that she stays there. She deserves more than being a geisha.

"I see. Is there anything that was unusual with the letter?"

"Well, aside from that…" the geisha whined. "… They've already got a weapon to face Makoto-sama's jutsu."

"What's that?"

"According to a spy Makoto-sama send at Konoha, a girl volunteered herself to defend the village with them. She has the power to reverse the jutsu."

"That's not true. They are just kidding." Iyasu sneaked in my back.

I urgently turned my back. It was the cunning bastard, Iyasu and his sidekick Koji. The two have been acting so strange since I "lost" Subaru. They were watching my every move, and every thing that I was thinking. I felt that Makoto commanded them to watch me.

"Whatever." I said. I turned away from the geishas and left.

"Where are you going, Itachi?" Makoto shouted from a far.

I turned my head to see him. He was a lot stronger now than before. I didn't know what he did, but it was so unusual. It was also sudden that Kisame and his geisha Yuki suddenly disappeared. The last time I saw them was they were in to a mission and after few weeks, Akatsuki found nothing of their traces.

Now that I'm alone without Kisame, everything was bizarre. Ever since Subaru arrived here, everything changed. I wanted to find out what's on Makoto's mind and his plan. Everything was secluded from me.

I seldom now receive mission. That's another thing unusual. I surely have mission every now and then.

"Away from here." I said coldly.

"Why? Come with me, I'll show you something." Makoto replied.

We went to the secluded and private place in the headquarters. It was the largest court the headquarters got. It became bizarre to me when I saw traces of cat's hair. I even saw a large tiger inside. What is up here?

Makoto suddenly performed series of seals. Horse, rabbit, tiger and last was a rat. A very complicated combination, I said to myself. I was suddenly bothered by the tiger's scared growl. I saw the tiger suffering from something. I don't what was aching. All of the sudden, the tiger lost his breathing and frozen… to death.

"What do you think?" Makoto asked.

"Powerful." I answered.

"It was one of the forbidden jutsu that Konoha was keeping. It was invented by Ichikawa."

"I know."

"Then you know. There are certain rules in performing the forbidden jutsu. You should need a sacrifice."

"What kind of sacrifice?"

"Living sacrifices… a high-rank ninja and another one with crafty talent."

"Who are your sacrifices?"

"Kisame and Yuki."

I gritted my teeth while Makoto was laughing. I wanted to activate Mangekyou Sharingan on him, but it'll be no use for now. I'll just waste my time and energy. Kisame and Yuki didn't need my revenge after all.

"It was unfortunate that it wasn't Subaru the one to perform this." Makoto said.

"You are expecting her."

"Of course. There's no need of sacrifices if she was the one to perform this."

"Hmm…"

"But, I'm really worried about the current information I got. Have you heard it?"

"Yes."

"I think Subaru knew about the reverse jutsu of this."

Subaru? She knew something about this jutsu? That was impossible. She never told me that she was trained to be that strong. Makoto was maybe just manipulating me to tell him the truth.

I left Subaru at Konoha for three reasons. First, I want her to get away from Iyasu, who was Makoto's cousin. Iyasu had an unknown reason why he was spying on Subaru. Second, Makoto wanted to marry Subaru. I found that pathetic. Subaru deserves a better man than him. Thirdly, I want her to experience freedom…

There had been selfish thought swirling around my head when Subaru was still here. She was beautiful… completely voluptuous and fragile lady. Her hair… her smooth skin… her curves… and her dark deep eyes. I would have just proceeded to enslave her under my authority. But, I didn't.

I find her weak, stupid and senseless. The first time I saw her; she was nothing but an ordinary, weak, feeble girl. It was such disgrace to my eyes. But, later I just noticed the sudden change of my perception of her. Her shattered and bizarre behavior puzzled me. Thus, I wanted to discover her more… without noticing…

… She became everything I want…

… She became anything I could be…

… She became the light that radiates in my dark sky…

… She became my everything…

"She can't do that perfectly." I suggested.

"That is what I'm thinking too. After all, she is weak. She is even afraid of herself."

Yes. Subaru was afraid of herself. She was afraid that she'd see herself in the mirror with blood splattering to her face. She was afraid to death. She'd probably dream away to her fantasy than to face the reality. But, I changed that. That's one thing Makoto didn't know.

"The reverse jutsu is important thing an Ichikawa should learn. It is the only reverse jutsu with sacrifice…" Makoto said while sitting in the bench.

"… You have to sacrifice the whole part of your life. After doing the jutsu, you'll only live for two years…" Makoto continued.

Pathetic, I said to myself. Such useless sacrifice… Why sacrifice the rest of your life saving Konoha? Whoever the girl is, she is really stupid.

"She must be stupid ninja." I said.

"Oh! She is not a ninja, but have potentials…" Makoto suddenly smirked on me.

"And who she might be?" I asked. I was actually anxious.

"Bravely enough, it is Subaru."

Makoto suddenly went away, with his evil grin left in the midst. His answers left me in the midst of shock. It was like a lightning struck my head, and my whole being.

Subaru? This can't be. Subaru volunteered to save Konoha from Makoto? The thought sent shivers down my spine. There was suddenly an ache coming from my heart. Was just my mind, or it was really my heart?

I felt a pain in my chest. An unexplainable beat and throb coming from my heart. I was sweating, and my mind was swirling into confusion. I should find out why did she have to do this!

I suddenly sneaked out of the headquarters. I decided to see Subaru whatever it takes. I left her to Konoha to survive, not to die!

I won't let her die. If I have to sacrifice myself… I would.

That stupid girl. She must be dreaming when she told to herself that.

But, she told me before that there was a technique that her father taught to her. It was special and only their family can do it. But it possesses a great responsibility.

This must be it. I won't let her to do this… without my consent!

I was skipping in the trees. I suddenly felt a liquid coming out of my eyes. Are these tears?

I suddenly stopped to find out. It was really tears that were flooding my eyes. I suddenly realized…

… I love Subaru…

… I won't let her die…

… Because…

… This is true…

"Subaru… wait for me…" I whispered.

Now… everything is clear to me. She gave me light… she gave me radiance and clarity to my existence. And, I won't let happen…

… My light to fade away…

* * *

_A/N: The end of the special chapter. I hope you guys like it! I was actually thinking of a good ending for this story. But, I am choosing between two endings. Why don't you suggest one ending? That would help. Please leave a review after reading. Thanks also to those people who reviewed my previous chapter. Also, I would like to inform you that I wouldn't be updating this story for two weeks. My midterm exams are on the way, so I have to study hard. (Got to have new mobile phone!) So, I'm out of here. Take care and have a nice day ahead. _


	17. Journal Entry 16

_Disclaimer: Naruto… is not my possession… I've been rich if I did…_

_A/N: Thanks to those people who reviewed the special chapter. All of them want to see if Itachi will see Subaru. (Whew!) Well, we are now going back at the usual point of view, Subaru's point of view. Let's see if he gets to see the mistress of Ichikawa. Shall we?

* * *

_

**CHAPTER 16: **

**REVERIE IN THE RAIN: A DAY OF CONFESSIONS

* * *

**

"Are you sure about that?" Naruto asked.

His voice was getting into my nerves. He kept on insisting that my decision was wrong and should just let Konoha do the job. I rolled my eyes as he kept on ranting about it.

"But, I think Naruto is right… Subaru-chan." Sakura suggested.

Her voice was gentle and sad. Sakura has always been gentle to me since I lived with her. She always assured that I'm fine and comfortable in all time. Her brilliant green eyes lost its luster while saying those words.

"I'll be fine, you'll see." I said.

I smiled brightly at Sakura. But, behind that sweet smile lies a bitter downfall of my heart. It was breaking my heart to see these teenagers so worried about me. And, myself… was covering them from the pain of losing. But, they were not kids anymore. There were now grown-ups and they clearly understand the risk of doing such thing. It was suicidal, I know. But there's nothing I can't do. It was the only way I know to save them…

… And save Konoha…

Konoha… the land where my family was furnished and faded. Just like the petals of a chrysanthemum, slowing dying and being carried by the wind. This was the place where I was born, and hopefully…

… Die…

But still, the lines from that old notebook from the graveyard puzzled me. My father knew this would happen. But, since when did he know this? I haven't finished my training about that jutsu. Luckily, the notebook contained the important things and also the steps on how to perform the reverse jutsu properly and perfectly. It was like; everything was planned according to my family.

I noticed Sasuke was been so quiet since Naruto and Sakura was been ranting about my decision. He never reacted nor gave Naruto a word. I was surprised that he was not giving any attention on Naruto's reactions. His eyes were deep… into a deep ravine of complexity. I knew that there were a lot of questions popping around his mind. But, when will Sasuke have the strength and confidence to ask those questions? I knew those questions were for me. Will he wait for me to die before asking those questions? Insensitive and typical Sasuke, I told myself.

"Neh… Subaru-chan…" Naruto said.

"Yes." I answered.

"Do you think you already found that person you spend your life?"

"Huh?"

"I mean… the one that was in the notebook…"

"Oh…"

I still remembered those words. I will perform the jutsu unless I found the love of my life… the one I will spend my life or should I say, two years. I think I found him, but it was too impossible.

"Subaru-chan, I'm also curious about that." Sakura said.

"Well, maybe… he's just around the corner." I answered.

"But, the note says that you will do that when you found the one you'll spend your life with!" Naruto insisted.

"Well… I can spend my next two years with the three of you…"

"You're trying to hide it, didn't you?" Sasuke blurted.

The question shut me up. He was right. I was trying to hide from the truth that Itachi was the one I want to spend my next two years. How could I tell to them that I found it? I found the contentment and happiness to the guy that almost kill them and threatening their lives!

"What are you trying to say, Sasuke?" Sakura asked.

"She's trying to hide the fact that she found the one she'll spend her life with." Sasuke answered forlornly.

"Well… and who do you think it is, Uchiha?" Naruto asked.

"Subaru can answer that." Sasuke said.

"Stupid! How can you tell that she already found the right guy for her, when you… yourself haven't found yours!" Naruto shouted.

"Look who's talking? You haven't found yours too." Sasuke said.

"I've found her, and I'll make sure she'll be with me." Naruto yelled.

"And, who is it?" Sasuke asked.

"You…" Naruto gritted.

I chuckled. These two 15-year old ninjas were challenging themselves to confess their feelings. I knew Naruto's girl. It was the naïve and innocent Hyuuga Hinata. He already confessed his feelings to the girl last night over a date. He told me how Hinata reacted on it. I was happy for Naruto. And, in Sasuke's case? I was getting a little bit nervous on the turnover of this argument. It might turn out that Sasuke will be the one telling a shocking truth than Naruto. But, I still wonder who can melt Sasuke's heart, since his brother's heart was already melting under the sunbeams.

"Then, you haven't found her. Or maybe you still didn't tell her your feelings didn't you?" Sasuke was being assertive. He knew that Naruto didn't have the confidence to tell to a girl what he really feels. Most of the time, Sasuke's deduction was always right. But, now… He was wrong!

"I have found her…" Naruto said. His cheeks were blushing. His hands were on his pockets.

"Then, why don't you tell us who?" Sasuke challenged Naruto.

"Hinata-chan!" Sakura yelled.

Sakura went to Hinata. But, Hinata ran to Naruto and greeted him with a very shy but sweet smile.

"Good mor-ning, Naruto-kun." Hinata said.

"Ah… Good morning too… Hinata-chan…" Naruto said shyly.

"What's going on?" Sakura asked.

"Well, why don't you ask Hinata?" I said.

I looked at them keenly while Hinata was telling what was going on. I was really into observing their reactions over the relationship that was developing over Hinata and Naruto. I really do believe that opposites really attracts, in certain aspects, I guess.

"WHAT?" Sakura yelled.

"So, she's your girl?" Sasuke asked, with eyes widened.

"Yeah…" Naruto said, while scratching his head.

Hinata put his arms around Naruto's arms. It was a sweet view. Naruto suddenly chuckled devilish. He knew that he won Sasuke's challenge.

"So, Sasuke… where's yours?" Naruto said.

"It's none of your business, stupid." Sasuke said.

But I looked at Sasuke with a very sincere thought that my guess was right. He loves Sakura, and care for her so much. Sasuke looked at Sakura with a very delightful smile. He knew his girl was around with him since the start. Lucky Sasuke, with a very sweet and thoughtful girl, Sakura, I thought to myself.

"It's like I win in the challenge. Huh? Sasuke." Naruto said.

"Wh-at chal-lenge, Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked.

"Ah… I'll tell you later, Hinata-chan."

"So, why are you here, Hinata?" I asked her.

"Well… Anko-sen-sei wa-nts to see you. Suba-ru-chan." She answered.

"Anko-sensei wants to see me?"

"Yes. She to-ld me whi-le we ar-e ha-ving our train-ing."

"So, where she is now?"

"She's at th-e Ko-no-ha brid-ge wai-ting for you. She al-so to-ld me th-at you ha-ve to bri-ng sna-cks." She told me.

"Thanks, Hinata. I think I better go now. I still have to go to the grocery to buy snacks. Darn that, Anko-sensei! When will she be the one to treat me?" I bid goodbye to them as I ran the streets of Konoha.

"Better be home before Sir Kakashi checks you up in my house!" Sakura yelled.

"I will!" I screamed.

* * *

----------+----------

* * *

"I don't know if that's the right decision, Subaru." Anko-sensei told me while she was munching the fish balls I bought from the food store.

"Why did you say so?" I asked.

"Well… as you have told me, there's a sacrifice on doing that. You are too young to die. You haven't experience what life has to offer you!"

"Anko-sensei… I know. But, I don't want to waste my life anymore lurking in guilt and self-pity."

"I do… understand what you feel." Her eyes suddenly lost its sparkle. Her voice became soften and gentle.

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't told you my past right? Maybe, its time you should know it. Besides, you're my first ever student. Unfortunately, unofficial."

"Yeah… unofficially." I smirked.

"I was a student of a legendary ninja. My teacher came from the legendary Sannins."

"Legendary Sannins? I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about legendary ninjas."

"Oh yeah! I almost forgot!" Anko-sensei smiled. She was scratching her head.

But after few seconds, Anko-sensei's smile faded. Her assertive attitude suddenly shifted into acquiescent demeanor. She bowed down. Her face was under the shadow of a painful regrets and thoughts. There was a sudden rush of curiosity flowing in my veins.

"Legendary Sannins are legendary ninjas. They were called legendary because they were warriors during the Ninja Wars. They saved Konoha from the invaders…"

"The Sannins were comprised of Tsunade-sama, Jiraiya-sama… and Orochimaru-sensei…" She continued. "Orochimaru was my sensei, and was very proud of me. Until…"

"Until?" I asked.

"Orochimaru-sensei turned his back to Konoha. He even gave me a curse seal to become his slave. I was angry to him… and at the same time, I was guilty over it. I love Konoha. But I still went to him because I want to save Konoha from myself. Since, I already have a curse seal… it will always remind me that I was under his authority."

"But where is the curse seal now?"

"That's the big question. The seal disappeared for an unknown reason."

"Ah… do you love Orochimaru?"

"Maybe the curse seal disappear that way…" She answered in undertone.

"Ah… Anko-sensei… I think the rain is starting to fall..." I said.

Anko-sensei suddenly stood up from the ground. She looked up in the sky. I felt a droplet of water fell in my lap. But she was feeling the rain slowly falling in her face. I realized how beautiful Anko-sensei is.

She was brash, and that's so common. Everyone knew that. She was the aggressive, very loud-mouthed and arrogant Anko. But, the Anko-sensei I saw a while ago was the soft side of the annoying teacher of mine. I was privileged to see how beautiful and fragile her soul is…

… How I wish my soul were beautiful as hers…

"Stand up! You got to go home before Kakashi check you out at Sakura's house."

I stood up and fixed everything. I stood up and saw two butterflies hovering over one beautiful rose. The first butterfly was white and the other one was black. I smiled, as I looked up to them in great awe and appreciation.

"Butterflies… look at them. They were sharing the same flower but with too much different colors…" Anko-sensei remarked.

"Yeah…" I said.

"Subaru…" She called.

"Yes?"

"I think you have found the reason to live. That's why you decide to save Konoha. You deserve better than this. But I'm still proud to meet you, and become your teacher. I know you'll become a great ninja… I know… Brave enough…"

I turned my back to Anko-sensei. I felt the pain from her words. I can't help but to cry silently while picking up the basket. My heart was breaking. I wanted to bring back my words and just decide to get away from this. But, this was my destiny. I knew it from my heart. I have to do this. I decided to sacrifice this because I love this people… and…

… Love can really hurt so much…

I wiped my tears and prepared a smile to face Anko-sensei bravely. I ran to her side. She suddenly put her arm around my shoulder and said.

"Hmm… I wonder who is the reason of your life?" She asked.

"Huh? Why "who"?" I said.

"Because, it's a girl instinct." She said.

"Hah!"

"I'm sorry that I can't walk you home today. I still have a meeting to make up with Ibiki-san. It's actually a date rather than a meeting."

"A date? That's nice!"

"Wah! I think so. So, I'll leave you here. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure!"

* * *

----------+----------

* * *

"Darn! I forgot to bring my umbrella!" I said to myself as I ran to the nearest store to protect myself from the rushing fall of rain.

The air was getting colder, and the rain was getting harder than the usual expected. I suddenly heard a step away from me. It was very gentle but it was very much familiar.

I tried to warm myself by rubbing my hands. But, it was no use. I looked up in the sky and ranted.

"Why now? I promise to Sakura to be back before Kakashi check me up at their house! Now, what will I do?"

I felt a sudden different throb in my heart. I was surprised by my body's reaction. I looked at my right side and saw a figure. The rain was making the sight blurry.

"Who's there?" I yelled.

"Why you are all alone going home, Subaru?" the figure said.

There was a sudden rush of blood. There was a very different delight going through my whole body. The voice was familiar! I knew it was Itachi.

"Itachi?" I asked.

The figure came closer and the sight become clearer. It was really Itachi! My heart pounded in bliss. I saw the man who gave me the reason to survive… the one I know I'll spend my life with…

"You should have bring your umbrella." He said.

"I forgot." I said.

I can't stop myself from running to him. I put my arms around him and hugged him tightly. I missed him so much. He gently put his arms around my waist. I heard a chuckle from him.

"The rain is falling harder." He said.

"I must be dreaming…" I uttered.

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Just stay with me, please?"

* * *

_A/N: Chapter 16 is already done! And, I need reviews to it! I kinda change my style and writing. I know that this chapter is a cliffhanger. (Screaming people at background.) You just have to see the next chapter to know what's next. And, people, thanks for reviewing my previous chapter. And, thank you again! Take care and God bless!_


	18. Journal Entry 17

_Disclaimer: Naruto is not under my property. Fortunately, the plot came from in the inner sections of my brain. Mwahahahaha!

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_

**CHAPTER 17: **

**WALKING UNDER THE NIGHT BREEZE: SIBLING CATASTROPHE

* * *

**

He was now carrying the basket I was earlier clutching. With his left arm holding the parasol, my right hand was entwined in it. We were walking under the stormy sky of Konoha. The wind was cold enough to freeze someone, but it was different in my case.

Itachi's hand was keeping me warm partially. We were both quiet in the middle of the loud crashing of the water coming from the sky. I was looking at him. His eyes were different from the first time I saw him. He was gentler and more peaceful now. I suddenly realized his hardened heart was now shattered, making him more vulnerable and maybe emotional. Oh well, I really don't know if my deductions were true. I guess…

I was looking at his dress code. He was just wearing his normal ninja suit. I suddenly remembered Sasuke in his dress. He wasn't wearing his hulking Akatsuki jacket and his weird forehead protector. I smiled. He looked at me and noticed strands of hair fallen in my eyes. He gently tucked in those strands to my ears. He noticed my peculiar smile.

"Why?" He said.

"Uh… your outfit. Where did you get that?" I asked.

"This? Its my old clothes."

"Old, I see."

"Why?"

"Your clothes remind me of Sasuke."

"My little foolish brother?"

I looked at him with my eyebrows knitted. He knew that I didn't like him hearing such words about his brother. He personally knew it despite that I was away from him that long.

"Subaru…"

"Yes…"

"Do you want to ask anything first?"

"What do you mean?"

"I really would like to talk with you about a very important matter. So, if you have any question that bothers you throw it to me."

"I understand. Why did you come here, Itachi?"

"I would like to know the reason why you wanted this…"

"What do you mean?"

"Tell me, do you love me?"

The question shut me up. Itachi was very straightforward. I knew he was emotional, and I didn't know the reason why. He was never been this worried and emotional. I decided to be honest. That's all I can do. Also, if I kept this feeling again for a long time, it will surely slowly kill me.

"I do… and, I don't know why."

"Love… someone told me before that it doesn't need reasons…"

"…For love is the reason…"

Itachi suddenly laughed. I pinched his biceps to make sure that he'll notice who I was irritated for his reaction.

"Ouch! Subaru, what is that for?"

"You are laughing!" I pouted.

"I see. I just noticed what you said. I'm happy to know that you feel the same way. I thought you'd never do."

"How do say so?"

"You always tell me how you hated ninjas and the same kinds. I see how you can be so sadistic and revengeful to them. However, you've changed."

"Itachi… you've changed me."

"I hope so… and so you did."

"This is too mushy."

"Why did you have to perform the reverse Jutsu?"

Silence suddenly covered my face. I suddenly remembered my decision. Saving Konoha and sacrificing my life for it… I suddenly remembered the pain that Naruto, Sakura and Anko-sensei have shown me earlier this afternoon. Their fear of losing someone close at their heart. And the hardest part was already here… Itachi was now showing that he would not lose me.

"Itachi…" I said, but he interrupted.

"Whatever your reasons are, I understand. But, why you didn't tell me earlier about this?"

"Stupid! You are in the Akatsuki headquarters, and I'm here!"

"You're the one who's idiot, Subaru. You don't have to sacrifice your life with this. I left you here to survive, and not to die!"

"I'm going to die too! Not in war, but in guilt!"

We both stopped screaming. The rain came falling very hard from the sky. Just like the tears coming out of my eyes. My sight was being blurry. But, I can clearly felt that Itachi's eyes were also burning to cry. His hands slowly wiped my tears away. He suddenly lost his clutch to the parasol and the basket and embraced me tightly. Like, he will never embrace me again.

"I don't want to lose you… I don't want to be alone again…" Itachi whispered.

"You won't be, Itachi. I promise."

I slowly tiptoed and gently kissed his forehead. I smiled at him. He smiled in return.

"Subaru-chan!" A loud voice came from the background. The voice was familiar. I suddenly turned around and saw Naruto and Sasuke running towards my direction.

"Naruto! Sasuke!" I yelled.

Naruto came closer, but Sasuke stopped halfway before he even reached my position. Naruto noticed his sudden stop.

"Hey, Sasuke! Why did you stop?" Naruto asked.

"Uchiha… Itachi…" Sasuke muttered.

I turned around to see Itachi. His face stiffened in authority. I still remembered how Sasuke hated his brother, and now they came again… face-to-face.

"So, it is my foolish little brother." Itachi said.

"Wait… how did you enter here?" Naruto asked.

"It is easy. But, since the security is much tighter than before I have to take off my Akatsuki uniform and decided to wear my old ninja outfit."

"Subaru-chan, go away now. Sasuke and I will take good care of this." Naruto said.

"Naruto… it's not what you mean! Itachi…" I was interrupted by a mysterious sound.

A sound of chirping birds and the crackling of light from Sasuke's hand disturbed me. Can't be! He'll use Chidori to attack Itachi! My eyes widened as Sasuke was stepping to attack Itachi. But, I know it'll be no use.

Sasuke suddenly ran fast and easily charged Chidori to his brother. I buried my face to my hands in not witnessing the fight or anything gore. When the sound disappeared, I slowly looked at them. Itachi was fine! And Sasuke was sitting in the ground. What had just happened?

"I'll never hurt Subaru, Sasuke." Itachi said. "… I love her and care for her very much. I came here to Konoha to visit here. I've learned that she already laid her life to save Konoha from Makoto's plans. Yet, I have so much to say to her. Please, give me a chance to talk with her. She's important to me."

"She's… also important to me. She's like a sister to me. That's why I want to protect her like there's no one could. It hurt so much to see her suffer… to see her decide like that." Sasuke uttered.

The words that passed through my ears made my tears fell. Both frozen hearts were melted by the piece of shattered soul. I placed my hands in my heart. I felt them beating so alive. I never thought that somebody would love me the way my family did before. Here's Sasuke. Someone I didn't expect to say those words. He was so little for words. But, here he was. Talking to his brother… pouring his heart out.

"Neh! I also care of Subaru-chan! So, if you ever hurt her, I'll surely kill you." Naruto yelled.

"Enough." I said. "There's too much pain being spill with the rain."

"And the rain is getting heavier…" Itachi said.

"We better go home, Subaru-chan." Sasuke said.

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_A/N: Chapter 17 is quite mushy. It's funny how Sasuke told what he feels. So, I was yawning. Sorry, this one is too short! But the next chapters will be longer than this. That's a promise! Also, after this fiction… I'm planning to write another one for Kakashi. It'll be Kakashi/OC story. Anyway, thanks for reviewing the previous chapter and don't forget to leave a review after reading this. Thanks! Nice day ahead!_


	19. Journal Entry 18

_Disclaimer: I am disclaiming Naruto. Except that I own Itachi and Kakashi by heart… Mwahahaha! Peace folks! –Smiles-_

_A/N: Attention people, this chapter features bit sensual scenes… So, I'm warning you. If you're under 13, I'm already prohibiting you to read this chapter. But, if you're too hardheaded and persistent, then… read it. I've already warned you! –Grins-

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**CHAPTER 18: **

**SPECIAL NIGHT: A PROMISE MENDED OVER A WAR

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**

"Itachi will come with us! We can't leave him here!" I yelled at Naruto.

"But he's an enemy…" Naruto yelled.

It was so hard to convince Naruto and Sasuke to let Itachi stayed at the house I was staying. I didn't want to let Itachi roamed around Konoha and then waking up in morning knowing that the ANBU squad already caught him. I was so worried there might be something bad happened to him.

"Naruto, please… just for tonight! I can talk to Sakura… I know she'll understand."

Of course, I knew that Sakura would understand my situation now. She knew everything about what I was feeling for Itachi. No doubt that she'll even agree on my idea.

"You didn't understand. Itachi might be a spy sent by the Akatsuki. If we let him stay with you, he might infiltrate the security!"

"Don't judge him as if you know him that much!" I yelled.

I was suddenly stunned by what I just said. My words overwhelmed Naruto so much, that his eyes widened in surprise.

"Just let them be…" Itachi said. "…I can take good care of myself."

"But… Itachi…" I pleaded.

"I understand their point of view, Subaru. All they want is your safety and I can't blame them if they don't trust me. So, just go home with them."

"No, I won't!"

"Subaru… you have to understand…"

"Have to understand? Itachi… I… just…"

There were sudden flood of tears flowing out my eyes. This was my only chance to see Itachi and the chance was too short for it. I wanted to last it longer that I expected. If he only knew how I felt. I buried my face to my hands. I felt ashamed of myself.

The feeling of death was so near to me. I felt like there was no tomorrow left for me. The decision of performing the reverse Jutsu made me feel this way. Since I've learned that the technique was worth a lifetime to lose, I felt like I wanted to spend each day to the people I owed my life with. It was so unfortunate that my family was not here to help me through this struggle. I knew they'll be proud of me, and at the same time they'll be hurt so much. But, just like what was demonstrated in the notebook, they already knew that this event would happened in my life. It was like they've predicted it. I was never surprise about that. My family also possessed the gift of seeing the future. My mother had it. Psychic abilities were so weird and so powerful… it can possess your whole soul.

And now, I've decided. I was determined to do the reverse Jutsu. The sacrifice was more than just killing myself but taking for granted everything that the world reserved for me. The bliss, the opportunities and even the chance to live a normal and happy life… these were prohibited. Two years left to me was never enough to experience such dream life I was in reverie of. Itachi…

He had changed a lot to me. He became the light that surrounds me while I was walking at the darkness of my life. I was already decided to spend the rest of my life with him. If he only knew that I was despair of his presence… why did he give me a chance just to be with him? Didn't he love me too? This night… I felt that this would be the last night of my entire life. Three days to go before the Akatsuki attack Konoha. And, within that three days… I felt like my life was being reaped away from me slowly.

I just wanted to be with him. My tears flowing in my eyes personify the longing I've swallowed while I was away from him. Haven't he understood?

I suddenly felt an embrace. A warm and sweet embrace enfolding my delicate body. I looked at the eyes of the person who embraced me… Itachi.

His eyes… they were different from the red eyes I've seen before. They were now soft and gentle. Not anymore the same murderous eyes but they've changed. His warm touch filled up my soul. His eyes were sparkling underneath the cold breeze. His sight was full of mercy and love.

"I don't want to see you suffer…" He told me.

"Naruto… let him come with us."

My eyes widened when I heard a familiar voice. It came from his brother, Sasuke. I looked at him in compassionate and grateful eyes. I smiled at him and ran to his arms.

I embraced Sasuke as if it was my last time to see and to cuddle him. His eyes… that were before under revenge… now full with compassion. He was now different. He became more sensitive and more considerate. He was also hungry in love and understanding. Just like… his brother…

"I just don't want to see girls in tears. It is annoying." Sasuke said.

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* * *

Just as I expected, Kakashi was already at Sakura's house to check me up. He was surprised that Itachi was with us. Just like Naruto before, he was also opposing to my idea of bringing Itachi to the house. But, Naruto and Sakura convinced him to just keep his mouth shut to the people around Konoha. At first, Kakashi was so persistent that it should be reported to Tsunade-sama. But, when Sasuke came to the scene, Kakashi was finally convinced about the idea.

"Subaru, you do know that there are consequences waiting." Kakashi warned.

"Kakashi-sensei, you mean she'll be punish by this?" Naruto said.

"That's not what I mean, Naruto." His sensei said while reading his favorite adult rated book.

"Then what do you mean?"

"You incompetent freak! Don't you understand?" Sakura said.

"What to understand, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked.

"Oh! Why are you so stupid? Subaru-chan might get into trouble if anyone will know that Itachi is with her." Sakura answered.

"Ah… trouble? What kind of trouble then, Sakura-chan?"

"AH! You are cutting off my patience!"

"Sakura just let him be. He's too shallow to understand such things. You already know that he is stupid and will not understand this." Sasuke suggested.

"You, cold-hearted! I can understand it!" Naruto yelled.

"Get lost."

I was sitting beside Itachi in the dining table. I was looking at Naruto the way I never seen him before. He was too dumb for emotional things, but out of the blue, he can easily catch you up from an emotional downfall. Naruto was really a different kid with a bizarre personality.

"Enough of that. Subaru… did Itachi already know about your decision?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes, he does. Actually, that is his intention of coming over here at Konoha." I answered.

"Very well."

"Why, Kakashi-san?" I asked.

"Well, I guess… you've found the one you'll be spending the rest of your life…" Kakashi suddenly stood up from his seat. He headed to the door. "It makes you more charming…"

"Kakashi-sensei, where are you going?" Naruto asked.

"Of course, I'm going home. It's getting late at night. See you all guys tomorrow!" Kakashi disappeared in the puff of the silver smoke.

So, Kakashi already knew about my feelings, and my reasons why I wanted Itachi to be with me. He was really so mysterious and so hilarious at the same time. He was more than just a teacher.

"So… Itachi-san…" Sakura asked.

"Yes?" Itachi answered.

"You'll be staying here for tonight?"

"If it will be fine to you, Sakura."

"Of course, it'll be fine. Subaru-chan's been so lonely this past few weeks."

"What do mean of being lonely, Sakura-chan?" I glared at her.

"Nothing! I'll just get a futon so Itachi-san can sleep at your room." Sakura ran up to the stairs, leaving Naruto and Sasuke in the blue.

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I was sitting at the edge of my bed, brushing my long red auburn hair. It had grown several inches since that day. From shoulder length hair, it had turned to be up my waist. I suddenly felt a touch landed in my shoulders.

Itachi was slowly running his fingers to my shoulders. I suddenly found myself closing my eyes.

"Is there something you wanted to tell me?" Itachi asked.

"What do you mean?" I answered.

"You're keeping away from something. Tell me, what's bothering you?"

"Itachi… honestly, it is the sacrifice that's bothering me."

"Tell me more…" Itachi whispered while showering my neck with kisses.

"I honestly afraid to accept it. But, it is my way of redemption. The next and last two years of my life is so vague to me. I make up my decision on spending it."

"And, what's your decision?"

"I want to spend those last years with you."

Itachi suddenly stopped. He suddenly leaned his forehead at my back. He was trying to hide his emotions from me. I sighed. He then, wrapped his arms around my waist and whispered to my ears.

"I'm afraid to lose you…"

"So, am I."

"But, I don't want to cause you any trouble."

"I did, Itachi. I was the first one to bring you into trouble. If I haven't existed in your life, you'll just be plainly… you."

"You're wrong, Subaru. If you ever didn't exist and never appeared in my life, it will be forever useless. There's no worth living my life anymore. It's really hard for me to learn to accept your decision. You're always dumb and hasty."

"I know I am. It makes me special."

Itachi let out a loud chuckle. I smiled to myself. He was right. I was hasty. I hated to admit it, but it was true. I was hasty in making decisions that might save me from pain or regret. But, this time… I was not saving myself. I was saving the entire village that had put my life on the edge of the cliff. How ironic…

"I don't want to wake up next day. I don't want to leave this moment."

"Itachi, we have to face it. It's hard to admit, but this might be the last night I'll be with you."

"I won't let that happen."

"And, what will you do?"

"Just promise to me to wait for me."

"I promise. But, Itachi… you could just turn your back to Akatsuki."

"I can't."

I sighed. I wanted to him to get away from Akatsuki before the war start. He could just easily go away from them. Besides, he was the best there. But, Akatsuki can't offer to lose such genius like him. He was made to be a ninja, and turn out to be one of the best.

"But, why you can't?" I faced at him.

"I don't want to see… Konoha turned into ashes."

"Itachi, tell me. What's on your mind?"

But he didn't answer me back. He was keeping something from me. He suddenly locked up his lips to mine. I can't back out. I missed it.

From lips, he started kissing my neck. I loved it. He was trying his best not be harsh, but to be affectionate. Not be hasty, but to be caring. He suddenly untied his hair.

He slowly held me close to mold to his body. I suddenly smiled back at him.

"What are you smiling at?" Itachi asked.

"You looked like a girl…"

"But you're more gorgeous than me."

"Whatever you say."

I lightly traced my forefingers to his lips. I smiled to myself. No matter what was in the back of his mind, that wouldn't be matter. All I know was he was with me this night. It might be true. It might be the last night I might saw him. I will never know what will happen next to my life. Everything was like a roller coaster. So fast, so hard to catch up…

He laid me down slowly to the bed. He placed himself over me and started kissing my neck. It was actually tickling me, but it was a refined movement. He slowly clasped me close to him, with his left arm under my back. He lightly brushed his lips to mine several times, until I caught it.

It was long and passionate kiss. I suddenly found myself being part of the eternity, not by the world around me. I found the kiss to be forever taking my breath away from the troubles. I didn't care anymore what would happen next. I decided to throw all my cautions to the wind, just for once. I suddenly sat at the bed after that long kiss.

I breathed deeply, for another energy and of course, for air! The kiss took long than the last time. I found him smiling wickedly.

"Whatever is in the back of your mind, I do care. You should tell me before I go hysteric."

"You would know soon."

He slowly removed the headband in my hair and slowly ran his fingers to it. He, then again, kissed me. I slowly sunk in the bed and found him, slowly going under the covers. He was controlling me… and… I was overtaken.

* * *

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I woke up when I lost the sense of sleeping. It was actually distracting. I slowly rubbed my eyes. I found myself entwined at Itachi's arms. His face was buried in my hair. His arms entangled around my waist.

The midnight breeze was freezing my hands, so I hid it under the covers. I slowly turned to face Itachi's face and created little circles around his chest.

We were both naked in the dark. Naked both physically and emotionally… I've given everything now. Love was all the hope I found beneath the restless journey in my life. It had given me rest and peace. Ironic, it was the first time I felt completely whole. Itachi and I were now together as one.

… It made me more think of the next few days…

… I know he'll return to Akatsuki the moment the sun raises…

… And, fixing things there…

… But, I was more afraid…

… Death might be just around the corner…

… But he promise he'll come back…

… After the war…

… It'll soon be over…

… I know…

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_A/N: End of Chapter 18. I try so hard to make a lemon here, but it won't fit. I hope I keep my promise. And, thanks for the previous reviews. I really love you guys! I have to tell you that three chapters left… (Four actually…) Hehe! So, if you have any suggestion on how to end up this, let me hear it. It might be the ending of the story. Let's just see what's Itachi's plan. Would they end up together? Please leave a review after reading, and thanks for reading this! Have a nice day ahead!_


	20. Journal Entry 19

_Disclaimer: For the 19th time… I don't own Naruto. My! If that happen, I'll send Orochimaru at the mental hospital, bring Rock Lee to a parlor, drag Sasuke in a counselor, bring Sakura in a psychiatrist, and of course! I'll dragged Itachi and Sasori to my house! Oops… I forgot Kakashi…_

_A/N: Hey people! Thanks for reviewing the past chapter. I'm glad you like it. The previous chapter was actually translated from my parlance. Nay! So hard… Sorry for the long wait. (I think that's long, because I usually update during weekends.) Anyway, here's chapter 19. Hope you'll like it. Enjoy reading!

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**CHAPTER 19: **

**THE PERIOD OF TEARS: THE CONFRONTATION BEGINS

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I woke up from the sound of clattering footsteps in the stairs. It was light, but it was dragging his feet as if there's something wrong. The clattering became louder as it gets near to the door.

I embraced the pillow next to me. It was been two days since Itachi have gone away and went back to Akatsuki. I already missed him. He told me he'll finish a business at Akatsuki, then he'll return to Konoha to pay for all the things he have done before. He was now looking for redemption from all the faults he had made.

"Subaru-chan, wake up!" I saw Sakura suddenly burst in the door.

"What's wrong, Sakura? Can't you see I'm still sleeping?" I said I slowly opened from my eyes to see Sakura.

She was catching her breath. Her eyes were under the glint of anxiety and fear. There's something wrong. I slowly sat up from the bed and asked her with my sleepy tone.

"Sakura, is there something going on?" I asked.

"The Akatsuki… there are now here!" Sakura blurted.

My eyes widened in surprise. They've arrived earlier than what we expected! Tsunade-sama predicted that they'd arrive or attack during the nighttime. But, surprise! It was early in the morning, and I haven't even perfected the reverse Jutsu yet!

"Are you sure about that, Sakura?" I asked her. I gently rose from my bed and slowly walked to Sakura.

She nodded. I bit my lip as I started contemplating about the situation. I really didn't know how to react on her news. I suddenly remembered Sasuke.

"Ah, Sakura. Can I ask where is Sasuke at this very moment?"

"Uh, probably… any moment now he's on the park. He might be training himself there."

"Possible reason, but he also might be thinking of killing Itachi any moment he wish to."

"What do you mean?"

"Sakura, Itachi is still a member of Akatsuki."

"Huh? But, I thought you'd convince him to turn away from that group!"

"I did… but it was no use. He was too dedicated in finishing his business with Akatsuki."

"How about you?"

I suddenly glanced at the mirror hanging on the wall. I saw a trace of doubt and fear in my face. I still didn't know if Itachi's plan would be for good or for bad. I can't easily read his expressions, but I know he was hiding something from me.

I felt a sudden rush of electricity running to my veins. I remembered that Itachi would be with the first batch of Akatsuki who will arrive. I looked at Sakura with a breath hanging to be released.

"What's wrong, Subaru-chan?" She asked worriedly.

"Itachi… did anyone see Itachi with them?"

"No. No one in the ANBU squad saw him. They predicted that Itachi might be part of a secret attack that Akatsuki will be blowing to us."

"That would be a possibility."

"Ah… Subaru-chan… Tsunade-sensei also wants to see this morning."

"Tsunade-sama?"

"Yes. She told me she would like to talk to you."

"Alright. I'll be coming. I'll just fix myself."

I was about to close the door when Sakura stopped me from doing it. Her eyes were full of anxiety… and even fear. She was thinking twice if she'll spill out what she wanted to say. So, I decided to ask her.

"What is it?"

"Do you think… Sasuke-kun will be alright?"

I placed my left hand on Sakura's shoulder. I smiled sincerely and told her.

"I'm sure he'll be fine. Trust me."

"I know he trusts you a lot, Subaru-chan."

Yes. Sasuke trusted me a lot… even the security of his best friend – Naruto. I knew how much these two lads had been competing to each other. But, deep inside their hearts underlies sincerity and interest in both of them. Naruto manifested his concerns visibly. But, Sasuke did it in other way around. He never manifested it that obviously. You have to read between his actions just to understand. Really a sneaky guy… secretive and quiet.

"I'll try my best to talk with Sasuke." I uttered.

Sakura suddenly embraced me. She was crying. She was shedding tears because of happiness and anxiety. Such a brave girl, I thought. She was never afraid of getting into pain and suffering despite that it was the one she loves that can hurt her very much.

Sakura was a refined and vulnerable girl. But she was expressive, intelligent and notable. I like her sense of tranquility and sincerity that she shows to her friends and people close to her heart. She was not afraid to cry and show her feelings. She was strong to stand firm in the midst of a struggle. Maybe, that's why I trusted Sakura in telling her my feelings. She's more than an emotive lady. She cries because she cares.

"Better go now, Sakura. Kakashi might be waiting for you. You should also help others out there. They need a strong and intelligent kunoichi like you." I smiled.

Sakura slowly unlocked her arms around me. She slowly wiped her tears and looked at me. There were still traces of wetness in her cheeks so I wiped them away. I gave her a heartfelt but weak smile.

"Thank you." Sakura said while she slowly closed the door.

I sighed. I slowly slide down myself to the door. I can feel a heavy burden in my heart. It was aching. It was too much to handle. I buried my hands to my face and silently cried.

My tears were gushing from my eyes. I can feel the sudden rush of blood in my veins as I thought of the things that might happen. I wasn't really ready for this… I wasn't.

I was still weak… stubborn and coward. I never faced any fight before. In my entire life, I kept on running away from the reality. I always ran away from the things that I could get myself wounded or scarred. Everything was too much to take. I didn't know if I'd be that strong for this.

I suddenly heard a squeal. People screaming outside… screaming for their lives and footsteps banging the ground. The war had started…

My weeping became more anguish. I suddenly remembered my past. There were also people who were screaming while my family was slowly being wiped out from the entire earth. I could just easily see everything in my mind. It was like watching a movie… repeating the scenes all over again. The emotions were still here. Fresh and unfeigned. I was now sobbing.

I didn't want another holocaust to happen in front of me. I wasn't that strong enough to face this. Maybe, I should have just runaway and leave this place.

But I suddenly remember Itachi's promise buzzing in my mind.

"… This is too much I can handle…" I whispered between my sobs.

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I paced my stride in the corridor of Tsunade-sama's office. I saw different kind of ninjas passing by my sight. I stopped at the red big door. Behind was the office of Godaime Hokage – Tsunade.

I slowly opened the door. My hands were shivering and my whole body was trembling. I didn't know the reason why I was acting this way. I slowly stepped inside the room. I was surprised when Shizune, Tsunade-sama's assistant yelled my name.

"Subaru-chan!"

I looked up urgently to Shizune. She was running to my direction. She suddenly held my hand and dragged immediately at the desk of Tsunade-sama.

"Tsunade-sama, Subaru-chan is already here."

Tsunade-sama was staring at the view. The view can be clearly seen through that glass window. She looked at Shizune. Her hazel brown eyes shining in courage and hope, but at the same time…

… I saw fear.

"Thank you. Shizune, leave us alone."

Shizune bowed down and slowly paced her way out of the room. Now, I was alone with Tsunade-sama. The silence was quite uncomfortable. The sense of disarray was stirring with the tranquility of the place. I knew how confuse and shock Tsunade-sama was.

"You've heard the news right?" Tsunade-sama said. She gently sat at the chair near her desk.

"I did. Sakura-chan told it to me. Where did the ANBU spot them?" I asked.

"Near the village square. An ANBU reported to me that there are three Akatsuki in that place. They have a speculation that the other members are already also here. They might be anywhere."

"I see."

"I requested for your presence here, because Naruto asked to."

"Naruto?"

"Yes. He doesn't want you to fight."

"That darn kid! I'll get him."

"He is so much worried about your situation. He told me that this war is dangerous for you."

"Stupid kid…" I blurted. "Since when in my life I found peace!"

"Subaru…"

"Yes?"

"One of the ANBU found this in the village square this morning."

Tsunade handed me a katana. It had black and white strips around its handle. I suddenly recognized the black tussle at the end of its handle. I suddenly felt confused and at the same time, discombobulated.

"Do you know whose katana is that?" Tsunade-sama asked.

"Itachi's… katana…"

"I see. Then the news is true."

"What news?"

"One of the Jounin doing his surveillance around the East side saw Uchiha Itachi in his Akatsuki uniform. Itachi also, was doing an observation around the place. When another Akatsuki attacked Itachi and both of them disappeared."

I suddenly closed my eyes. I gripped tightly the katana I was holding. My heart was beating faster, and my mind was blinded by hostility.

"After that…" Tsunade-sama continued. "…The Jounin followed their tracks and only to find that katana in the ground. He found no tracks left behind, except for that."

"Itachi…" I whispered.

"Naruto is also informed by this but he requested me to tell you about this, since he was busy in assisting Kakashi. Are you still willing to do the reverse jutsu?"

My eyes were still focused on the katana. There were some memories reminded to me by this katana. This sharp weapon reminded me so much of those memories I've set aside in my mind.

"Ah… Subaru…" Tsunade-sama snapped her fingers near my eyes.

I suddenly returned back to the reality, just to realize I was again reminiscing things. I looked at Tsunade-sama's face only to realize that there were hints of concern in her face.

"Ah… I-I'm sorry. Where are we?" I said. That was embarrassing, I thought.

"It's fine. I'm asking you if you're still willing to do the reverse jutsu." She answered. This time, her tone was softer and gentler.

"Yes, I am. Why?"

"Naruto told me the sacrifice you'll be making."

"I see."

The atmosphere suddenly changed. The mood was darker than before. It became more emotional and as for my case, I was again shut. My heart was shut…

"I want to make sure you'll be fine."

"Sure, I am!" I smiled. A very sincere but faint smile…

I know you'd put that mask, I said to myself. Will I ever learn to be real? Will I ever to learn to say my feelings just for once? The people around me were so much worried, and here I was, making sure everything would be fine? But, the reality is…

I was so much battle-scarred, and I didn't know if I could still manage this.

"You'll get through this, I'm sure."

Tsunade-sama suddenly held me close. Out of the blue, my eyes suddenly burst in tears. I was already sobbing. She embraced me with fragile care and concern.

"You deserve better than this."

* * *

----------+----------

* * *

I ran at the direction where I saw Hatake Kakashi. I suddenly stopped when people marching, piled up in front of me. I growled.

"Darn! Not now!" I exclaimed.

"Something wrong?" A voice familiar to me said. I looked at my back and saw Kakashi, saluting at me with his two fingers.

I noticed that the people marching was already far away now in my direction. I looked at my back, and the guy I was hunting was not there anymore. I moaned.

"Don't surprise me like that again!" I said.

"Sure, I won't! Anyway, why are you here? You suppose to be with Shizune, right?"

"Ah… supposedly. But, Tsunade-sama requested me to join the team."

"I see."

"But, I'm not here for the team. I'm looking for Sasuke."

Kakashi suddenly looked away from my direction. I followed it. I looked at my side and saw Sasuke, training again with his large 'shuriken'.

"That's really a huge weapon! Thanks, anyway." I said.

"Ah, Subaru…" Kakashi retorted.

"Yes?"

"Sasuke needs you now."

"I know."

I ran at Sasuke's direction. I stopped when he caught his large 'shuriken' in his hand, effortlessly. He looked at me with eyes different from what I've seen last two days. It was filled with fear and doubt.

"Sasuke… I was here, because…" I was suddenly interrupted when he suddenly spoke out.

"Hokage-sama told you to join the team. Am I right?" he said.

"Yeah… and also to talk with you."

"Hn."

He was hiding again his emotions. The typical Sasuke with cold-hearted, complacent and insensitive behavior… I knew he was hiding something. His eyes were almost teary-eyed to describe. He gulped when I placed hands in his both shoulders.

"Tsunade-sama wants you and Naruto to protect me. But, I thought it would be also fair if I'll be also going to protect you both. In everyday, you and Naruto are always there for me. The next days will be the most unpredictable event of my life. I don't know if I would be alive and stay living for the next two years. At least, I can payback all the efforts you've done for me. I requested Tsunade-sama too, to fight in this war. Though, it'll be my first experience." I said.

"WHAT?" A voice came out of nowhere came.

It was Naruto. He heard everything that I said to Sasuke. He tugged my sleeves and I turned to him.

"You should not fight! You'll be using a lot of chakra in performing that jutsu… You'll just waste them if you fight!" Naruto uttered.

"Hey! Didn't you hear you and Sasuke would be protecting me? So, there's nothing to worry!" I said.

Both of them became quiet. Naruto bowed down and Sasuke looked at his side. I sighed.

"You got to understand my part. I know how…" I was interrupted when Sasuke suddenly embraced me. Naruto looked at me with his mellow and teary eyes. I embraced Sasuke back and placed my one hand at Naruto's left shoulder.

"It's not yet my end, it's actually the beginning. I'm here to protect and so as both of you."

Naruto wiped his tears with his sleeves. Then smiled at me with delight.

"I'll protect you even it cost my life!" He exclaimed.

"Sasuke?" I asked.

"I'll do my duty. I won't let you die now." Sasuke muttered. His face was still buried in my chest. (What!)

"It's a deal then." I smiled.

* * *

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* * *

Konoha's gates… I was already facing them.

I stood beside Naruto, Sasuke and Neji. I was actually staring at Neji. He was actually holding a red ribbon in his right hand. It was tight. I recognized the ribbon. It was Tenten's favorite ribbon. Now, I knew why Tenten's hair was already down when I saw her this morning. Lucky Tenten…

On the other hand, I looked at my right side and found Shikamaru and Temari, with their hands interlaced with each other. Since, Akatsuki was also provoking Sunagakure, they already joined and helped Konoha. And, the Kazekage (who was also with us, Gaara.) decided to send himself, his siblings and numerous ninja who can help us.

I was suddenly disturbed by a sound of a bell in the nearby. I recognized the reverberation of the footsteps, walking closer to the gates. I found my hand touching Itachi's katana. I held it tightly as the door was slowly being opened.

I gulped. I blinked. I was even sweating.

The door opened widely. I saw three persons standing in the opening. I suddenly uttered.

"Koichi, Iyasu… and… Makoto…"

Then, a fire suddenly burst in the middle of the village.

* * *

_A/N: -wipes sweat drops- Whew! And, that's chapter 19, one part of the finale. Oh yeah! Sorry… it's a cliffhanger. (Starts dodging from weapons.) I hope you like it. I even revised this chapter several times. I'm not really good at writing fight scenes, so the next chapters will totally give me a hard time. Final exam is fast approaching, so I have to finish this story before it started. Hope you've enjoyed it, and please leave a review after reading it!

* * *

_

Kisame: Why did you kill me?

Authoress: Because it's needed in the story, shark faced!

Kisame: Stop calling me that, freak head!

Authoress: Oh? I'm a freak head? Good thing I even give you a geisha in my story!

Kisame: That's not bad.

Authoress: Now, stop bothering me because I have a lot of things to do.

Kisame: Like…?

Authoress: Now, you give me an idea. Getting rid you! HAHAHA! (points an arrow to him)

Kisame: I'll call Itachi if you did that.

Authoress: Better call Kakashi too. If they will help you…

_See you at the next chapter! _

_-Delusionized Hatake-_


	21. Journal Entry 20

_Disclaimer: Fine… I don't own Naruto. How many times did I have to say this? If I have, I'll take home Sasori, Itachi and Kakashi… Wahaha! (Peace!)_

_A/N: I was overwhelmed by the reviews I got! Whoa! I love you guys! (Hugs) Sorry for the cliffhangers! I just love doing it! (Starts dodging from several kunai.) I was so much delighted that you like it! Anyway, I wanted to mention one of the reviewers of this fiction,** Kidlet350**. Hey! I'm so proud of you! I can't even stay in the front of the computer for 5 hours, just reading! You're so great! Hah! So, here's chapter 20. Hope you'll like it! Sorry for the cliffhangers again! (Thoughts of doing it again.)

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_

**CHAPTER 20: **

**BETRAYAL IS THE NAME OF THE GAME: IT ENDS ALL HERE

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**

A fire suddenly burst in the middle of the village…

Kakashi suddenly scampered out of the crowd. He was going to where the fire suddenly spurted. There was a sudden throb of unusual feeling surrounded my mood. I found myself in the middle of a crowd, slashing their weapons and muttering Jutsu as they take away one's life for the safety of Konoha.

"Kakashi-san!" I shouted.

I followed Kakashi to where he was going. My instincts were telling me that Itachi was in that place. I hurriedly sprinted and looked for Kakashi's trace. But, I suddenly stopped to find Iyasu in front of way.

"Where's Itachi's little angel going?" He asked with a very sarcastic tone.

"It's none of your business." I answered.

"Let me guess… You'll go to the place where the fire started."

"What is your business if…" I was suddenly interrupted when Iyasu opened his mouth to speak.

"Nah, Little Angel. I didn't tell you to speak yet."

"You frigging…" I gritted my teeth as he tried to cut off my patience and as well as my poise.

"You might be thinking that Itachi might be there. Well, let me tell you. Itachi is really there!" He winked.

I suddenly held tight at the katana tied in my waist. The air around the place was humid, yet there was pint of panic floating around. I didn't know if I'd trust Iyasu's words. I knew how he hated Itachi. I still didn't know the reason. I decided to play along with this guy. Though, I knew the danger beneath it.

"Itachi… what do you mean?"

"Simple, my cherubim. Akatsuki will exterminate Konoha and… yeah! Itachi as well..."

I clenched my fist. I felt the gush of anger speeding up from my head to my feet. I knew Makoto, the Akatsuki leader was up to something.

"You'll betray him." I said.

"Correct answer, my sweet angel! Since, Konoha was stupid enough of not giving you up, and Itachi was a little distraction in Akatsuki's plan. So, Makoto decided to eliminate him. Any reactions, dear?" He answered in sweet but bitter tone.

"Itachi? A distraction? You might be wrong. Itachi is stronger than anybody else in Akatsuki."

"That was before, my Subaru. Now, that Makoto has the power to annihilate Konoha, he's now the strongest."

"Never…"

"It's happening, my dear. You'll never see your Itachi again. Konoha will crash down, and it is all because of you!" He suddenly laughed devilish.

I bowed down. Iyasu was right. Everything that was now going on was really my fault. I brought the war here, and if I ever just let myself be out of the scene.. These things will never happen! I was once again imprisoning myself in self-pity and guilt.

"Such pity little angel. I still don't find the reason why Makoto wants to marry you? Ah! I know, to preserve Akatsuki. And, your Itachi was destroying slowly everything. Now, should I proceed of eliminating you? What do you prefer…" Iyasu gazed at me in very fatal look.

He slowly drew his samurai from his waist. It was a shiny, sharp, long samurai. I found myself gulping as he slowly ran his fingers to its edges.

"A useless being like you should not leave anymore. This world is no use for such weakling like you. And, for your Itachi? He deserves to die in the jutsu you are good at."

I wanted to step away from him, but I found my body frozen in great fear. I knew the image of my past was the one flashing my head. I can see myself as the little girl underneath the table, hiding and watching to the killings that were happening around me. My sweat was slowly trickling from my forehead to my neck. I can feel my body shivering… as he slowly paced his way near to me.

"Tell me, fair one. Haven't you wish you had died before? Now, let me make your wish come true. You should be thankful. I'm more merciful than Makoto."

He was already few inches from me. I was telling myself to run, but my body wasn't really moving. I slowly closed my eyes as Iyasu made his stance to stick his samurai to my fragile body. Blackness surrounded me.

It was weird. I didn't feel any pain from the samurai. I slowly opened my eyes and two guys were at the front of me. A katana was against Iyasu's samurai. I saw Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto right in front of me!

"Neh, Subaru-chan… Are you okey?" Naruto asked.

"Ah… yeah…" I retorted.

I saw Iyasu's overwhelmed expression. He knew this two ninjas worth fighting with. He slowly put down his samurai and inserted it back to its case. He then gave Sasuke a big smile.

"So, this is Itachi's brother? Just like his brother, a weakling trying to be strong."

"Why don't you give it a try?" Sasuke exclaimed.

I saw Sasuke's eyes flared up. He activated his Sharingan and was ready to attack the enemy. He was being keen and tactical. He was already reading his enemy. Just like a wolf, it will never attack unless the enemy assaults him.

"Naruto… lead Subaru to where we saw Itachi. Protect her at all cost." Sasuke commanded.

"How about you, Sasuke?" I yelled.

"You don't have to worry, I can handle this. Go now, Naruto!"

Naruto suddenly grabbed my hand. We were running at the street where I can clearly see how the ninjas of Konoha fully fight just to protect this village. Maybe, I found the reason now to fight and not just stand in the face of an enemy. I got to move!

"I'll be back, Sasuke! That's a promise!" Naruto yelled.

"I'll wait for you here! Just hurry up, or you'll not taste the fight we have here." Sasuke said.

And, an explosion ruptured in the place where we left Sasuke and Iyasu behind.

"Sasuke!"

* * *

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* * *

I was surprised when Naruto stopped running. I almost stumbled when I realized that he bunged.

"Naruto, why did you…" I was interrupted by the view I saw.

Itachi vs. Makoto, the Akatsuki leader…

Itachi was already burned up. I can tell it by the way he was breathing. He almost used up every chakra that he has, and only little was left.

Makoto, in the meanwhile was stronger than I thought. He was not actually using fully his chakra but he was using another source of energy to conserve his chakra. The thought caught me in surprise. I knew the technique on how to conserve the chakra without using them up.

I slowly took three steps to look carefully the situation. I was shocked to see a scroll attached in Makoto's waist.

"It can't be!" I yelled.

It was my family's scroll! Now, I knew why he was not wasting or using any chakra to fight Itachi. He was using the Chakra Replacement Technique!

"What do you mean, Subaru-chan?" Naruto asked.

"So, Ichikawa Subaru discovered my secret, neh?" Makoto remarked.

"Wait!" Naruto said. He pointed his index finger to Makoto. "You are also there at the gates right? It was Ero-sennin who is fighting you! How could that…"

"It's Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, Naruto." I said.

"But, how?" Naruto said.

"See that blue scroll in his waist? It increases one's chakra when attach to someone It is my family who formulated and perfected the technique. A certain technique being performed under that scroll can last long than expect. So, the clone of Makoto can stay long… as long as the one who performed the technique is still alive!" I said.

"I thought you already forget your childhood lessons, Subaru." Makoto said.

"How could I forget it? It's been part of me." I said.

"I don't understand!" Naruto shrieked.

"You should now go back to Sasuke. You promise to him you'll help him defeat that golden-eyed boy right?" I said and winked at him.

"But, how about you?" Naruto asked.

"I can handle myself from here. Your responsibility ends here. You have to trust me."

Naruto nodded and jumped at the nearest roof. Before he went away, he took a last look. I smiled at him. He yelled.

"I'll beat up that guy, and you'll promise… I'll see you after this."

"It's a promise!"

Naruto disappeared in the thickness of the crowd and the smoke created by the fire. I looked at the two people standing before me.

"You should have just go with Naruto…" Itachi said.

"I couldn't. I promise to myself never to runaway." I smiled at him.

His eyes widened. He realized that I now knew how to stand on my own. I slowly approached him to check his wounds. Makoto was just looking at us. He was puzzled. He was surprised to see me, and Itachi. So much care and concern being demonstrated in front of him. I guess, he'll never understand.

"You've grown stronger now." Itachi said.

I was assisting him to stand up. With his arm around my shoulder, we slowly stood up from the floor, and faced Makoto.

"Nice scene. I never thought of seeing Itachi like this." Makoto applauded.

"And, never thought I would see that scroll with you… You're a thief!" I yelled.

"How do you…" Makoto was surprised to see my eyes flared up in golden color.

"Makoto, you knew that I have five abilities under my bloodline limit, but you are wrong, and I was also wrong. Just recently, I discovered my sixth ability… and I never thought of perfecting it in just one day… I can now actually read one's past, and one's mind."

"Impossible! Only one Ichikawa can do that and that's your grandfather!"

"Haven't I told you that once an Ichikawa died, his ability will be pass on to someone he like? I never thought that my grandfather would gave that to me."

"It can't be!"

"It already happened, Makoto. It'll be over here." Itachi said.

Itachi suddenly held his stance. He was now in position to attack Makoto. But, he suddenly fell down without any reason.

"How could this be possible? I can't control my body!" Itachi exclaimed.

Makoto laughed. He was laughing for victory.

"Of course, I can have any ability of an Ichikawa with this scroll. Remember, that, Subaru?"

"I do. And, you've betrayed Itachi." I answered.

"No only Itachi, but the whole village, even Akatsuki."

"Foolish!" I yelled.

He was now performing seals. My eyes widened when I started to recognize the seals he was doing.

"I know you knew this." He smirked.

I suddenly heard screams, even Itachi was screaming. I can recognize the pain that was causing them. It was one of the most dangerous jutsu my family ever perfected. It was the Psychic Curse Technique…

A technique that can cause one's brain to explode, or any part of the body the user wants to destroy. And, I can tell from Itachi's face that Makoto was slowly transferring vibrations to the brains causing it to shrink and cause so much pain.

My mind was on confusion. I never thought he can perfected this jutsu that easily. An ordinary ninja can't perform this jutsu this far. I looked at Makoto's expression. His skin was being wrinkled and he was shocked at the reaction.

"What's happening?" He asked.

"The ultimate sacrifice? Your youth!" I shouted.

I was decided to do the reverse jutsu. I knew everyone at Konoha, even from the people from Akatsuki was screaming in so much pain. It was like a migraine that increases its intensity of pain. The jutsu Makoto performed also activates in it's own. He didn't know it. He didn't know that once the jutsu was performed by an ordinary ninja, his greatest fear was being read. Thus, the jutsu will use its fear as an ultimate sacrifice. Funny, Makoto's greatest fear was growing old.

I performed the reverse seals. This was the real arrangement of the Psychic Curse Technique: Horse, rabbit, tiger and last was a rat. I executed the reverse and also in different arrangement: Tiger, rabbit, rat and horse.

"Reverse Psychic Curse Technique: Clairvoyant Reflection." I whispered.

My eyes' color changed from golden to green. The fire that was surrounding us suddenly swirled around me. The wind's direction became unpredictable, and its strength grew stronger. I was enveloped by the element of wind and fire. I can hear Makoto screamed from pain and disappointment. I didn't clearly see anything but, I heard the loud and horrible scream of Makoto, the leader of Akatsuki.

"I'll end it right here." I heard Itachi said.

I can feel the motion of his feet. Yes. When you used this jutsu, you'll feel and actually 'see' what's happening all over the place. You were part of every element existing in earth. I can feel Itachi's footsteps. I let him do what he wished.

The fire swirls around me suddenly lost. The wind came back to its normal state and I found Itachi standing in front of me. And Makoto…

He was lying in the ground. His eyes were staring in blank space.

… He was dead.

"You used Mangekyou Sharingan, aren't you?" I asked him.

"I did. Nice. Psychological and physiological torture… Can't wait to spar with you." He smiled.

The sun was shining brightly that day. I heard Sasuke and Naruto from a far together with some friends I knew. Anko-sensei, who was smiling brightly to me, approached me and whispered.

"I'm really proud of you."

I just smiled. I can slowly felt the lost of my energy and stamina. I slowly tapped Itachi's shoulders.

"What is it?" He asked.

I let myself fell down in the ground. I can slowly saw everyone gathering beside Itachi. Slowly, darkness surrounded my sight. I was unconscious.

"… Subaru, hold on…" The last words I heard from Itachi before I lost my senses.

* * *

_A/N: And, that is chapter 20. Hope you like it! This will be the last chapter. The next one will be an epilogue. So, if you're interested of knowing the next scenes and the stuffs related to that. Wait for the epilogue chapter! Will Subaru ever die? Will they end up together? Those questions will be answered by the epilogue. And, yeah! Another cliffhanger, neh!) (Try to hide behind Lee) Sorry for that! Thanks for reading and please leave a review (I need it, people!) Wait? I should not hide behind Lee! It should be Neji! (Runs to Neji) _

_Lee: You should be responsible of your actions._

_Authoress: Shut up, bobbed head freak! That is my writing style. _

_Lee: Writing style? Can you teach me that?_

_Authoress: Baka! Everyone has his or her own writing style._

_Lee: Really? Hey Neji, do you have your own writing style?_

_Authoress: Neji has one! He'll write your name with his Byakugan! Bwahaha!_

_Neji: Shut up! _

_Oh yeah! See all at the last and next chapter! _

_-Delusionized Hatake_


	22. Epilogue

_Disclaimer: Whew… Naruto is not my property. 'Nuff said._

_A/N: Okey… Questions are all over around my head! Honestly, I was really not in my mood to this. One of my friends passed away last week and so much depressed by it. Anyway, this epilogue is a third person omniscient point of view. Subaru is not the narrator anymore. (Curious neh?) To everyone who is curious enough to know what happen to them after the war, here it is, the conclusion of Subaru's journal. Enjoy reading!

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**EPILOGUE

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**

The Hidden Village of Leaf, Konoha…. Known for its well-established military force and strong regime, with also strong ninjas around them. Not to admit, the intellect and capacity of its current leader, Godaime Hokage – Tsunade.

We should not also forget the ninjas behind this very progressive shinobi country. There's Nara Shikamaru, one of the best ANBU captains. In the age of 17, he accomplished already 35 S-rank missions. In a month, this lazy and clever ninja can accomplish 20 missions without one of his members being missing or dead.

We also have Haruno Sakura and her bestfriend, Yamanaka Ino. This two are the best lady tandems that Konoha has. Sakura, who is known to be Tsunade's apprentice, is also one of the most recognizable medic kunoichi. She almost has the same abilities with her sensei. Well, except her sensei's obsession in gambling and drinking. Ino, on the other hand, the best known apprentice of Mitarashi Anko, and the present girlfriend of Akimichi clan's pride, Akimichi Chouji. She's considered one of the best lady ANBUs in the village.

Aside from these three ninjas, we got Uzumaki Naruto and Hyuuga Hinata. Not only known for their sudden engagement, but also the achievements they got. Naruto, who is assign, as Tsunade's assistant is one of the best Jounins ever recognized by the people of Konoha and in every shinobi country. And, as the heiress of the famous Hyuuga clan, Hinata has tied a lot of countries that are engaged in warfare. A really opposite couple with great achievements…

And, who else? Shikamaru's girlfriend, Temari is known to be the negotiator of Konoha and Sunagakure. Aburame Shino and Inuzuka Kiba are also great ANBU squad members. But, the ever-best ANBU fighters are Hyuuga Neji and Uchiha Sasuke. Not to mention the fangirls that always admired them…

Hyuuga Neji, not only famous because of his bloodline limit, being Hinata's cousin and his girlfriend.. The weapon mistress, Tenten… he is also famous because of his great ability to finish missions in just weeks.

Uchiha Sasuke… the 'lone survivor' of Uchiha clan is also famous of being Haruno Sakura's girlfriend and his famous Sharingan. But, he is not anymore a lone survivor… there is still a ninja also from the same clan that is great despite the flaws that he made to Konoha.

… Uchiha Itachi…

After the war between Akatsuki and Konoha, Itachi came back to Konoha and faced the consequences that were long ago waiting for him. After getting married at the age of 19, he accepted Tsunade's request to him… to become an ANBU squad captain again.

When Itachi got his daughter, Tsunade asked him to be take up Jounin exams. Without any effort, he passed the exams and became a Jounin.

And ever wonder who is Itachi's wife?

The lone survivor of Ichikawa clan…

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* * *

Sasuke was standing at the gates of the ninja academy. He was playing his kunai around his fingers. A beautiful kunai that Sakura gave him when he turned 19; he was even surprised about Sakura's idea of giving him such kunai.

He looked up at the sky. It was already noon. The sun was up and it was already blinding him so much. He suddenly heard a gentle chuckle. He looked his way to the gates. He smiled when he saw a pink-haired Jounin. The lady ran to him and gave him a gentle kiss in his cheeks.

"Well, how did it go?" Sasuke asked.

"Let me see… the students are good this days. They easily learn fast." Sakura answered with a great delight.

"That's good. How about Midori?"

"She's one of the best students I ever handle. She is the first one to perform Kage Bunshin no Jutsu perfectly."

"I know she will…"

Their short conversation was interrupted by bunch of kids that suddenly passed by between them. Sasuke was shocked when the children. Sakura chuckled when she saw Sasuke's expression. Sasuke twitched his eyebrows.

"What is the chuckle for?" He asked.

"I'm thinking if we had kids like that in the future." She answered.

The black-haired lad gave the lady a smirk. She only responded it with a sweet smile when they've heard their name being called by a little girl.

"Sakura-chan! Sasuke-niisan!" The girl yelled.

Sasuke fetched the kid. He lifted up the girl and carried her. The girl wrapped her arms around Sasuke's neck and gave him a warm hug.

"How's school, Midori-chan?" He asked.

"Well, I learn Kage Bunshin No Jutsu today. It is actually challenging. I can now do chores at the house all at the same time!" The girl remarked.

"That's not a good intention, Midori-chan!" Sakura exclaimed.

"But, it'll help me a lot!" The girl retorted.

"Sakura-chan is right, My Midori. That jutsu is only used for training and ninja purpose." Sasuke suggested.

The girl stuck her tongue out. Then, she gave the two ninjas a great bright smile, which reminds Sasuke of a girl he once knew, and he once hugged.

The girl had bright hazel eyes that can change to red with black spots. Yes, she is an Uchiha. But she also holds a bloodline limit so weird and so unexplainable. She can change her eyes color according to the element she'll control. Her long black hair with highlights of red auburn was burning under the sun's rays. She was beautiful, just like her dad…

… Just like her mom…

They walked out of the academy. Sasuke holding Sakura's hand as they promised to Itachi to visit the graveyard of a girl that changed their whole picture of life. The lady that brought light to their life, that still shines until now. The lady who gave birth to Uchiha Midori…

* * *

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* * *

Itachi was standing before headstone of her wife. It was three years ago since he married her and has one daughter from her. He knew, he filled up the rest of years Subaru should live, and he was contented of seeing her die in a smiling face.

He still clearly remembered how she died. His daughter, Midori was sleeping at her mother's lap. They were sitting at the seashore. The sun was setting and they were talking about Midori's future and about Sasuke and Sakura. There's no fear of death in her hazel eyes that day. She was even chuckling. Itachi was ready for the day she'll passed away. And, she died with her head in his shoulders with the words he'll never forget.

"… I breathe through your eyes. I see through your soul. I view my life with yours too. I'll never forget someone like you. You always have my heart and my soul is always with you."

He was looking at the tombstone with a smile in his face. He may never notice it but it was there all along. He thought that someone like her would understand him. He was thankful for her life. And, he'll cherish every moment she spent with him.

"Otou-san!" Midori shouted as she saw her father.

Itachi smiled. Seeing her daughter is also like seeing her wife. Her eyes so much resembles with his love.

"I brought Mom's favorite flowers. I knew today is her birthday." She exclaimed.

Midori gently placed the bouquet of heather in the tombstone of her mother. She then closed her eyes and prayed. Sakura and Sasuke did the same. Midori suddenly stood up and faced his father.

"Otou-san, I knew she was smiling." She said with bliss fixed in her eyes.

Itachi was tear-eyed. He knew how his daughter cherished her mother's smiles and memories. The same with him, and with Sasuke…

As they about to turn back themselves to the headstone, Sasuke placed a piece of red rose. He then ran to his brother and his girlfriend.

He tapped his brother's shoulder and gave him a tender smile. Then, Midori shouted.

"Isn't Neji-kun's engagement party today?"

"Oh! I almost forgot! I promised Tenten to do her make-up!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Better hurry…! Tenten-chan will throw massive weapons to you if you don't come!" The girl yelled.

"Oh, you little Midori!" Sakura gave her a little pinch in his cheek.

Itachi took a last look at the grave. Then, he smiled. He knew that her wife completely changed his life. This is the life he wanted, and she opened that to him.

In the tombstone, words engraved:

**_"Uchiha-Ichikawa Subaru, _**

_**Lone Survivor of Ichikawa Clan…**_

_**Unsung Hero of Konoha…**_

_**Resurrected the Uchiha Clan…**_

_**Light in the Darkness…"

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**_

**-----THE END-----

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_A/N: I updated fast! Why? Because my final exams are fast approaching! And, this is the epilogue of my story. Hope you like the ending. This happened three years after the war. Itachi is now 22 and Sasuke and other ninjas are 18. I had to explain few things. Subaru has to die because of the jutsu. (Blame that damn jutsu!) Because, in doing that jutsu, (The one she did to Makoto) the sacrifice is her whole life. And, thus, she had only two years left to leave. And, the epilogue was after three years. (So she is really dead.) At least, Itachi has a daughter right? I'll be now out of here. I'll all see you at my next fanfic. It'll be Kakashi this time. Nice day everyone! And, please review after reading! (I need it!)_


	23. Authoress' Thanks For Readers

_**A Note to My Readers: (Obviously, of these fanfiction…) **_

_**Hello guys! I know the story is really bittersweet. It's sad and at the same time, good. I would like to acknowledge someone who inspired me to do the story and finish it as it plans. It's my brother… (Hehe!) He actually suggested the descriptions and how weird Subaru's jutsu and family is. (Blame it to him!) I've read your reviews and I got to admit, I have a lot of questions and people to acknowledge with. So, let's start. (Maybe I should call Sasuke or Neji for help…)

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**_To: Aznpuffyhair_**

_**Thanks for reading and supporting this little fiction. I got really to explain that Tsunade has changed the standards of the academy in that time line. I suddenly remembered Naruto telling to Neji (The Chuunin Final Exam Match) that its Kage Bunshin No Jutsu that he always failed at the finals in the academy. That's why I thought of making it part of the story. Anyway, why named his daughter Midori? Nothing really. I just got it from a Japanese short story. The girl in the story loves heather, and thinking that Subaru's favorite flower is heather so, I decided to name or should I say, designate Midori as their daughter. Itachi having a twin… I also thought about that. But, I still want it to make it simple, so I decided them of having a daughter. Story related to the time line… I haven't think of that. But, maybe, I'll clarify how Naruto and Hinata end up together. What do you think?

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**_To: Mizuseishin24:_**

_**(A/N: Hey! Neji would like to participate!)**_

**_Neji: _**

_**You've witnessed two OC died at the same day. Every people have the same ending, and that's dying. So, you can't blame the authoress if the OC died right? It's inevitable. Anyway, thank you for supporting her fanfiction.

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_**Before anything else, I would like to apologize to Mizuseishin24 for Neji's unadvisable words. (I'll get you for that, Neji! I'm sure you'll suffer the same as Itachi! I'll even torture you in your fanfiction! That would be long waiting...)**_

_**Here's few reviewers I would like to acknowledge for their never-ending support and their continuous reading of this fanfiction:**_

_**- Aznpuffyhair, Mizuseishin24, Kidlet350, tlpg92, Misss005, loveable-M, Arsenel, ilikeevildoods9, MewRKW1, CoolRiku, Lady Nicky, NekoGuyFan, onlyonenikki, Jin-ashi, els132, narutoyuyufan…**_

_**And for all people who have supported and read this fanfiction, Arigatou! It'll not be possible without you. Your reviews increased my chakra to continue and finish this story. (Nyak!) **_

_**So, till here everyone! I'll see you all to my next fanfiction. If you're interested, please see my profile and you got the summary there. My first mission is accomplished and I got to report it to Kakashi-kun. Ja ne people! **_

_**Thanks again and have a nice day ahead!**_

_**-Delusionized Hatake-**_


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